Where is this leading?

[mee25]

My husband and i keep fighting constantly. Last time we ended up with a huge fight i had decided to leave him but then he said that he does not want me to go because of our son. He never finds time for me and we had not had sex since september. 2 days back i went to my company end of year party. There my colleagues were smoking joints. Since i used to smoke with my husband before i got my baby i had a few puffs with a girlfriend. when he was asking how the party was i told him that i had smoke because i thought that since he smokes he would not mind. And here we go again with the fights and he keeps insulting me calling me *****. he even called at my work place and wanted my manager to put me at the door. today he said that when he smokes his dad gets angry and banish him from the house so now i need to face the same punishment because i had smoke. Sometimes i got so depressed that i even think of harming myself but i dont do it because of my son. i wonder how long this will go on. i dont have anyone to take me at my parents house and when i asked his parents they only tell me to stay that it will calm down. it seems as no one seeing that am breaking down mentally.

[specialmom]

I think you have a choice to make.  First, put your son first.  If you DO leave him, you need to make sure the boy is close to his father.  Encourage that relationship ALWAYS. But you don't have to live with someone that doesn't treat you well.  However, if you can't live very well as a single person right now, you'll need to get a plan to leave that might require you to stay there for some time.  Get some schooling, get a job, etc. and get on your feet financially to leave.  If you CAN go to your parents house, then go.  This is a relationship that is hurting you.  So, plan to leave it.  hugs

[mee25]

I have a job and i left that house. The day i left he cried and said that he too feel depressed.He said he is going to hurt himself, in order not to take the guilt and for the sake of our little boy i gave him another chance. But today i see that he won't make any effort and when i asked him to leave me he just won't leave. i feel captured and helpless because its not improving. I feel lost. I love him but at the same time does not want to stay with him.

[specialmom]

I'm sorry I'm just getting back to you.  In all honesty, I think you will be much happier on your own with a fresh start.  Leave HIM.  Go.  Go anywhere.  Let me know how it is going hon