Hey jdbeers, how is it going? It's been a month -- how are things looking now? We're here to talk to if you need it!
Well, everyone handles grief differently. I'm sorry though that she is acting different than she has previously or as you'd expect her to under different situations. What are the marital issues she complains about? When she says you didn't make effort, what is she talking about? Where was the break down in your relationship even before she went on medication?
I agree that I'm sorry to hear this and your marriage difficulty and that there are many variables involved.
Do I think taking Zoloft makes her numb to you? Not really, I'm sorry. What other words could she use for numb? Indifferent? That comes probably from a place of having various feelings over the past few years that have been hard and now she is treating depression and she questions what changes she wants to make in her life. But she isn't fully sure and that is why she is asking questions like "what if I change my mind? what if you find someone else during our break up?" She's not sure what to do but doesn't feel the same about you as she had.
That's just my take on it from the outside looking in with the little tiny bit you've written. Which means I also could be totally wrong.
Zoloft will take the highs and lows away to some extent but takes 6 to 8 weeks to work. It doesn't make you totally numb from emotion but takes the edge off so you cope better. You still get sad. You still get mad. You still feel joy. You still get excited. Or at least you should. If she doesn't . . . about ALL things and not just you, then she does need to talk to her doctor.
What kinds of marriage issues were you having prior? Why does she say you need counseling? What are the issues and we'll see if we can help! I hope it all works out for you!
I am sorry for you marriage difficulties. In a marriage or relationship there are so many variables. In your case Zoloft is only one variable. Would she be willing to go to couple counseling. Being able to discuss difficult issues with a neutral third party would be best practice.