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physical abuse by boyfriend

I am writing to seek your guidance on relationship problem. I and my boyfriend have had a shaky long-distance relationship for past four years during which he has been verbally abusive (using swearing) and has physically abused me twice over some fight when we met . In response to his behavior I have tried to breakup this relationship but he gets very aggressive and recently after I wanted a breakup over his physical abuse, he apologized and he started abusing himself physically "in order to show his love for me". He has taken to alcoholism and self abuse since I have expressed to leave the relationship. I am concerned about his well being, do you think psychological therapy will help him  in this regard?
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1894410 tn?1364190055
You have to contact someone to help you leave, I wouldnt even tell him you were leaving....leave a note...I know you love him and you dont want him to hurt himself....but you have to put yourself first ALWAYS....talk to the police or ring the domestic volience centre they will help you with moving they could even help with a safe house....or ask your parents to help...move home or move somewhere where there is people so if he comes looking for you have witnesses.....do not have any contact. Do not go anywhere with him on your own.....no matter how his asks.....if he contacts you tell him you need time and you will ring him when you have your head together....if he loves you he will give this time.....DO NOT STAY....this will not get better......trust me....I wish you all the best and keep me posted....love linda
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Avatar universal
Your boyfriend is very toxic for you and is toying with you in saying he is abusing himself over you wanting to break up with him.  This is a very manipulative and abusive man who you have to stop all contact with.  Now is when you need to take care of YOU and get YOU in a better place.  This man is trying to control you in any way he can and only you can put an end to it.  You deserve better than this, concentrate on what YOU deserve and want in a significant other, and I know it's not this or him.  Once you stop all contact with him...he will be fine and find another woman he can beat and manipulate.
I've been there, stop all contact with this guy he sounds dangerous.  I do wish you all the best and please don't feel that you need to look after him.
That's what he wants, just move on.
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Avatar universal
This is not a "relationship problem".   This is totally IRRATIONAL and this is DANGEROUS behavior!!  He's a danger to YOU as well as to HimSelf !!  You need to leave QUICKLY (NOW!!) and take steps to protect Your safety.  You should at the very least have an order of restraint and make Your whereabouts unknown to him.  What more evidence do You need to see the violence and the potential danger to You??  Please leave and protect YourSelf.
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Avatar universal
What more can I say?  Totally agree with the above posters.  

Stay safe dear.  
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