Hi. I hope you've got your head round the whole thing now, or perhaps your feeling worse.
I have been through all the same procedures as yourself to no avail and we are heading off in 4 weeks for ivf with an egg donor.
I'm fortunate enough that I already have a son(3) but not able to concieve a second due to early menopause.
I completely understand where you are coming from on all your questions but I think once you have made the decision to go for it, your thought process changes.
Yes I google every night about it and yes I propably think about it more than any bloke thinks about sex. But now that the decision is made in very content with that decision.
I think of it like- if I donated a kidney, that does not make the other person me, my organ joins there body to become them.
Yes the egg comes from someone else but it's your partners sperm and your body that make life. Therefore without my partner and me that little egg would just be a stain on someone's pants. Lol.
I hope you are doing well. I am currently going through the same situation. I have had 3 IUI, 2 attempts at IVF and we only made it to egg retrieval, first time eggs were retrieved but did not survive, second time none were taken the eggs were to immature. We were told we can try IVF again with a 10% chance of success, or we could use an egg donor with 75%-80% chance of success. We have been battling infertility for several years now. I keep beating myself up because I don't understand how this can happen to a young person. I just turned 34. I started trying to get pregnant at 30, saw my GYN and took clomid for 6months to a year, then I started seeing my infertility doctor. I have given thought to the egg donor versus adoption, and I think it is better for me because part of the child would have my husband genetics, I would carry the child and know there are no drugs involved and the child is getting proper nutrients, and being able to bond with the child thru pregnancy, first days and many many more. If we proceed I am still uncertain if I would tell anyone. A part of me feels like the decision to tell people would be his/hers. Maybe we can get through this together.
....I am now in the same boat. We are looking for a donor egg. I feel like we are doing this in a vacuum. The infertility clinic we are using seems to have forgotten about us in that we are having to drive everything. The one donor we had our eyes on has now retired and the only other donors either have a genetic disease or look nothing like me. I feel very alone, but ironically know that there are many couples going through this. Just wondering how to connect to couples before, during and after egg donor IVF and would like to hear all opinions good, bad or indifferent.