Aa
18 years old, unable to get/maintain erections
I am 18 years old and have been unable to maintain an erection for both sex and masturbation, when im with someone i get really in the mood but i just cant seem to get an erection, if i do, it is only for a couple of minutes and goes away before i can have sex.
What should i do?
What should i do?
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Hello.
First, relax. If you look at the previous posts here, you'll see that you're not alone, and that your concern is fairly common among men your age.
Erections go up and down. You’ll find this happening all your life. It doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy sex, but you have to adjust your attitude and relax. I suspect that once your penis didn’t respond on command, you started feeling anxious and judging yourself, which can be a vicious circle. The more you worry about erections, the more your penis won’t cooperate. In fact, it can be downright rebellious!
Many men feel that if their erection goes down even a tiny bit, there’s something wrong with them. Where does this come from?
Men receive so many messages that sex is about “performance” and pleasing a partner, rather than just enjoying the pleasure of it. Everything is goal-oriented—like a football game. The other message that many men receive is that sex is somehow dirty and wrong, unless you’re doing it for reproductive purposes. Sometimes this can creep into our unconscious thoughts and sabotage any pleasure. Ask yourself whether you have any conflicts about being sexual—any old messages that might be lurking in your subconscious.
It sounds to me like you may have some fears about sex that are impeding your erections even when you're not with a partner. Again, this can be caused by conflicting feelings about sex.
One question I have for you is whether you have an erection when you wake up. If so, it's unlikely that there are any physical conditions affecting erection; however, if you DON'T have an erection when you first wake up, that's a pretty good indicator that you should see a urologist for an exam to determine whether you have a physical condition that can be treated.
For more information about erection issues, attitude, etc., I highly recommend the book “The New Male Sexuality” by Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D. It’s widely available in paperback and is an invaluable resource.
Relax, stop putting pressure on yourself and enjoy sex for what it is: pleasure. Give yourself permission to enjoy whatever happens—and find partners who aren’t hung up on performances issues either. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
First, relax. If you look at the previous posts here, you'll see that you're not alone, and that your concern is fairly common among men your age.
Erections go up and down. You’ll find this happening all your life. It doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy sex, but you have to adjust your attitude and relax. I suspect that once your penis didn’t respond on command, you started feeling anxious and judging yourself, which can be a vicious circle. The more you worry about erections, the more your penis won’t cooperate. In fact, it can be downright rebellious!
Many men feel that if their erection goes down even a tiny bit, there’s something wrong with them. Where does this come from?
Men receive so many messages that sex is about “performance” and pleasing a partner, rather than just enjoying the pleasure of it. Everything is goal-oriented—like a football game. The other message that many men receive is that sex is somehow dirty and wrong, unless you’re doing it for reproductive purposes. Sometimes this can creep into our unconscious thoughts and sabotage any pleasure. Ask yourself whether you have any conflicts about being sexual—any old messages that might be lurking in your subconscious.
It sounds to me like you may have some fears about sex that are impeding your erections even when you're not with a partner. Again, this can be caused by conflicting feelings about sex.
One question I have for you is whether you have an erection when you wake up. If so, it's unlikely that there are any physical conditions affecting erection; however, if you DON'T have an erection when you first wake up, that's a pretty good indicator that you should see a urologist for an exam to determine whether you have a physical condition that can be treated.
For more information about erection issues, attitude, etc., I highly recommend the book “The New Male Sexuality” by Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D. It’s widely available in paperback and is an invaluable resource.
Relax, stop putting pressure on yourself and enjoy sex for what it is: pleasure. Give yourself permission to enjoy whatever happens—and find partners who aren’t hung up on performances issues either. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Don't you want to know that you have the power to do this on your own without relying on a pill? The problem with pills can be that you become dependent and then you actually believe you need them. Then, guess what? You do. It's a self-fulfilling prophesy. Try my suggestions above first. And don't worry about seeing a urologist. They've seen everything, and they're trained to help, not judge. There's nothing wrong with you except a bit of shyness and discomfort about sex--and that's easy to remedy. Dr. J
Thanks.
Yea im thinking now that it might be a bit of both. I keep putting off making an appointment at the doctor because its embarrasing, but I will.
Im quite shy when it comes to sex, so it takes me a while to get used to being with another partner. Ive looked into drugs such as Viagra, and was thinking that it would help, so that i could take it when i first start being close with someone, then after a while i wouldnt need it. What do you think?
Yea im thinking now that it might be a bit of both. I keep putting off making an appointment at the doctor because its embarrasing, but I will.
Im quite shy when it comes to sex, so it takes me a while to get used to being with another partner. Ive looked into drugs such as Viagra, and was thinking that it would help, so that i could take it when i first start being close with someone, then after a while i wouldnt need it. What do you think?
You are reading content posted in the Erectile Dysfunction Forum
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
Discharge often isn't normal, and could mean an infection or an STD.
STDs aren't transmitted through clothing. Fabric is a germ barrier.
Normal vaginal discharge varies in color, smell, texture and amount.
