You're welcome! I'm glad you have some insights into your feelings. The more you learn about yourself, the more you can understand your behavior, and that understanding will enable you to change the ones that aren't working so well for you. Dr. J
Thank you so much for your answer, it's really helping me a lot to think. Especially the last line where you said "don't look for things to get upset or worried about".
It is true that I tend to compare my current boyfriend with the guy before him because we almost got married and I think after him I became very very judgmental about everything, so it might be all in my head
Thank you so much again
Hi Angie.
PLEASE don't judge your boyfriend based on your past partners! Every one is different, and every one's body responds differently. Just because your boyfriend's erection goes away temporarily, it doesn't mean he isn't turned on to you.
There's nothing "wrong" with him. Here's some information about erections.
Some men are so excited about sex that nothing affects their erections, while others may be a bit more experienced and relaxed. In addition, some condoms lessen the stimulation. If you're using condoms that are thicker, this may mean that your partner needs a bit more stimulation to stay erect. If this is true for your partner, you suggest using a thinner condom.
However, it's important to realize that erections go up and down. This happens to men all the time, and it doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy sex, but you have to stop putting these performance expectations on your partner. Changing positions can sometimes lessen sensation, at which point the penis goes down a bit. Once your partner is stimulated again in the new position, erection returns. It has nothing to do with you, and there's nothing wrong with him. It's not bothering him, so please don't make it into a big deal. Relax and enjoy yourself. If you're enjoying sex with him and the relationship is going well, don't look for things to get upset or worried about. Dr. J