Really bad performance anxiety. Any experiences?

[MarvtheParanoid]

I’m looking for someone who has made similar experiences with ED. I seem to suffer from a quite serious case of erectile dysfunction ever since I’ve been sexually active (which has now been a couple of years). I’m 27 and I’ve still never had “proper” sex, meaning sex where I could finish. I should probably mention, I’ve only ever have ED when having sex. Further below I try to list a number of possible reasons. I’m hoping someone could share his experiences and, ideally, how that problem was solved.

The cause of my ED seems to be exclusively mental as I never have trouble getting it up otherwise, with or without visual stimulation through porn etc. I’m able to maintain hard and long (45min+) erections. Whenever I’m with a woman, I suffer performance anxiety as I am indeed quite nervous every single time. Knowing that I probably won’t get it up obviously adds to the pressure.
Recently I started taking Viagra, which I ordered online, but still seems to work as it helps getting it up during foreplay. But as soon as I enter a woman, it goes flaccid despite the Viagra. I’ve also tried it with a penis ring in addition, but the result is the same. I enter her and the erection is gone. I also don’t feel much during penetration which may be due to the fact that I always have a condom on. No idea. Sometimes it felt like my penis has simply disappeared and there was no feeling left in it. With a flaccid or semi-hard penis, thrusting becomes really awkward and I have no clue what I’m doing there, so I’m forced to give up. I never know how to explain it to a woman. Why would I be hard during foreplay (thanks to Viagra) and lose it as soon as I penetrate?? Can you fake an orgasm? Should I just give up on Viagra and penis rings etc. altogether? Or is there another, perhaps mental, ‘trick’?

So there are a couple of causes I’ve been thinking about. Firstly, is it possible that a condom has a negative effect? Should I try a bigger size condom? I’m only a little above average in size.
A reason that probably contributes to the ED, next to me being nervous, is most likely the fact that I’ve never had feelings for any of the women I’ve been with. Although I’m 27, I’ve never had a girlfriend because I’m to ******* shy and nervous. The women I did end up in bed with weren’t women I particularly cared about, but one or the other was really hot. Also, the atmosphere was never romantic or anything and I am a sucker for romance. Despite my various (about 7) sexual encounters which all ended with ED, I still find it difficult to imagine that I couldn’t get it up when I’m finally (fingers crossed) with a woman I care about. But I would still be nervous; probably a million times more nervous than previously because I would really want that one to work out.

I’d be really grateful if someone could tell me if they’ve made similar experiences.

[Dalubaba]

It is an excellent natural technique to solve the sexual problem. However, to get a cooperating female partner will become a big problem. For a short time, you do not get such a helping girl. For a long term, no body would agree to start relationship with the person. If an already married couple has the problem, she could help to save her marriage.Of course thing differ from culture to culture. Main theme of the technique is control. This control can be achieved with few breathing or yoga Bandhas (yogic locks) and exercises which increased the blood flow in the groin.From medicine we can expect some appropriate  tranquilizer or stimulant or aphrodasiac. (Spell check not done.)

[AndRynne]

Sorry. Your question is too long for me to read but you are correct. You do have performance anxiety erectile dysfunction. Here is how you cure this:
It is very easily fixed. This can be done usually, though not always, without medication. The commonest cause of erectile dysfunction in young men is performance anxiety and the commonest cause of this is watching yourself trying to get or maintain an erection. Once a man is up in the audience looking at himself he is doomed to failure.  

Here is what is happening: Your subconscious brain is trying to get a message through to your penis to get ready for action and get erect or to stay erect. Fleeting and sometimes subliminal negative thoughts or worries from your conscious brain are blocking those subconscious messages from getting through. Your subconscious brain is trying to call up your penis but it keeps getting an “engaged tone” and cannot get through. Your conscious brain is over-riding or scrambling the neurological pathways that leads to an erection Because of passed ‘failures’ your brain has now gone into negative overdrive.

There is now a tried and trusted set of behavioural techniques that can overcome this in a matter of a week or so. These are so easy to apply. Discuss this with your girlfriend/partner; you need her understanding and cooperation.  


Here is how you can overcome performance anxiety:

• Agree with your sex partner to take intercourse off the menu altogether for several weeks.
• If you are not expected to “perform” then you can’t be anxious.
• Fondle and pleasure each other in any way you like but no intercourse. See to it that her needs are being met.
• Then sometime, when you have a good erection, she squats over you and places your penis into her vagina. She does all the moving and shaking while you just lie there and do nothing. You are not “on duty”. You are “off call”. You are on holidays and have withdrawn all services. You need to be able to laugh at this as well. A good sense of humour is essential. This is only sex after all. It’s not a life or death issue.
• Please show this to your sex partner so as she is in the picture. If you can’t share this with your partner then it’s not going to work.
• I know that this may not be easy for you and that you would love to find a “better” diagnosis and a “better” solution. I have known so many men get themselves into terrible knots trying to avoid what is after all eloquently simple. Take this quantum leap now and you will not regret it.

Once you get your confidence back your ED will go away. If you wish, or if the above does not seem to be working you can take some Cialis 20mg but it is better if you do not do this.





Here are some common myths about performance anxiety erectile dysfunction:

• It’s your own fault. It absolutely is not your fault. It might be someone else’s fault if someone said something nasty to you and striped you of your confidence. In the main however, it is usually nobody’s fault. It just happens. It only needs happen once to establish a cycle of negativity.
• It’s a sign of weakness. It is no such thing.
• It’s difficult to fix. Not so. It is easy to fix if you have a sense of humour and can share it with your partner.
• It does not spill over into masturbation. It does or at least it can.

[MarvtheParanoid]

Thanks a lot!

[YardBull]

Rather than a "one night stand", from what you describe, it may be better to develop a relationship with a female that you can become romantic with, leaving intercourse off the table, at least at the start.  Then, once you get familiar enough for sexual activities, allow her to give you a slow hand job to see if you can remain erect through to ejaculation.  But try to build up a friendship first,

[MarvtheParanoid]

Thanks!