dude, i don't want to be ignorant, but i'm 26, so i'm goin to comment. You might be gay,sereously, if you genuinly love your wife,really love your wife, and your not craving her sexually anymore, or just would rather masterbate, then u may be gay. You don't realize when your watching porn that your watching the whole act, you may think your turned on by the women but you may be equelly turned on by the naked dude pounding whoever he's wit. The camera angles with porn can be very weird, zooming in on this and that, to me it's as much gay as it is straight,think about it, straight porn is kind of gay at times. I would stop watching porn altogether and focus on your wife. If you love her it shouldn't be that difficult. If it is difficult or just impossible then either your gay and in denial, or have some kind of chemical imbalance in your brain that is making you infactuated with sex on tv rather then the actual act.....if not gay maybe bi sexual, it's pretty common among dudes in their twenty's, especially if youve been having sex with the same person for that long, if u started at 17 with this chick, then u may have some prior interests that are now becoming an issue? just my opinion.
You have identified your problem, watching and masturbating to porn.
Many heavy porn users share your inability to get an erection without porn. The inability to get excited by a real-life sexual partner is called copulatory impotence.On our recovery forums, we have men in their teens with porn-induced ED.
Chronic erectile dysfunction is NOT a problem for men under 40 - or at least it wasn't until Internet porn arrived.
Your problem is in your brain, not your penis. ED caused by porn is not psychological, it is structural and biochemical.
Internet porn can become an addiction, and with all addictions the brain changes, or adapts. It does not matter if the addiction is to a substance or whether it is a behavioral addiction, the same brain changes result.
Today's internet porn is nothing at all like our ancestors ever encountered, with the constant novelty and genres of extreme porn. Unlike yesterday's Playboy, Internet porn overstimulates the brain structures responsible for libido, erections, and addiction.
Brain changes include a drop in dopamine receptors in the reward circuitry. Reducing the amount of dopamine receptors decreases your pleasure response to "normal" stimuli. In other words, real-life sexual partners and previous porn won't excite your brain enough to get your penis going. Turning on dopamine receptors is how you get turned on.
Here are two excellent presentations, by a science teacher, on the effects of pornography on the brain. They are non-religious, non-judgmental, and science based.
Erectile Dysfunction and Porn:
http://yourbrainonporn.com/erectile-dysfunction-and-porn
Your Brain on Porn - Porn Addiction:
http://yourbrainonporn.com/your-brain-on-porn-series
Knowledge is power,
good luck