Hi
You sound like you could just be suffering from a food addiction. Although most people like 'comfort' food, in fact, they are designed to provide comfort so that all of us are compelled to eat them - it is the cylce of addictive thinking that makes a food addict unique. You might be displaying that. You say that you justify what you eat while you are eating it, hide the food, and then feel bad about it. These are typical features of addictive thinking.
You are right! Addiction does not make sense. It operates in another part of the brain that has nothing to do with rational thinking.
Check out these questions to see if you are addicted to food:
The 20 questions for food addiction:
1. Have you ever wanted to stop eating and found you just couldn’t?
2. Do you think about food or your weight constantly?
3. Do you find yourself attempting one diet or food plan after another, with no lasting success?
4. Do you binge and then “get rid of the binge” through vomiting, exercise, laxatives, or other forms of purging?
5. Do you eat differently in private than you do in front of other people?
6. Has a doctor or family member ever approached you with concern about you're eating habits or weight?
7. Do you eat large quantities of food at one time (binge)?
8. Is your weight problem due to you're “nibbling” all day long?
9. Do you eat to escape from your feelings?
10. Do you eat when you’re not hungry?
11. Have you ever discarded food, only to retrieve and eat it later?
12. Do you eat in secret?
13. Do you fast or severely restrict your food intake?
14. Have you ever stolen other people’s food?
15. Have you ever hidden food to make sure you have “enough?”
16. Do you feel driven to exercise excessively to control your weight?
17. Do you obsessively calculate the calories you’ve burned against the calories you’ve eaten?
18. Do you frequently feel guilty or ashamed about what you’ve eaten?
19. Are you waiting for your life to begin “when you lose the weight?”
20. Do you feel hopeless about your relationship with food?
Copyright © 2000-2010 Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous
If you think you might be a food addict, then the next step is to find out which foods you are addicted to. This is almost always sugar and refined starches, but for many people it can be dairy, some fruits, fats, salt, even the volume of food. Then you have to stop eating that food, go through the detox and after a few weeks of abstinence, your food cravings will subside.
This is much easier said than done. I encourage you to go to my website: addictionsunplugged.com, and find out some resources that will help you quit. There is lots of information as well as resources like 12 step groups. Like with any addiction, it is almost impossible to quit your drug of choice alone!
Food addiction makes you to face dangerous symptoms. Instead of excess intake of food , drink plenty of fluids. Aim for 8-10 glasses of fluids in total each day. Choose from drinks such as water, sugar free dilute juice, diluted natural fruit juice, skimmed milk, and weak tea. If you manage all this- you will be on the road to living a healthier lifestyle.