Aa
Finding it hard to accept no risk
I've posted here before. I've been assessed as no risk. Yet I still cannot sleep at night. I'm seeking counseling but it's hard. I've had all the symptoms. Rash on my thighs at 4 days. Large flat acne like pimples all over my back and chest at 1-3 weeks. Fever of 101 at 2 weeks. Then red spots on my hands 4,5,6 weeks only for a few hours, once for a day. A sore throat since about week 1 which was minor until week 6 when it became severe. I had protected sex with a sex worker, protected oral, and semi-protected fingered her. (started to finger her, and she put a condom on my finger after a bit). We stopped about mid way and hopped in a shower where she gave me a hand job. Then dried off, and put another condom on, and went back at it. (A little worried hair follicles open up after a shower?). I had an ag/ab test at 4 weeks - negative. Had another test at 6 weeks -negative. Trying to wait the 12. I also had severe muscle aches for a while but thats gone now. I don't know if my lymph nodes are swollen. I feel them regularly, and they ache a bit. But everyone I've asked to feel them has said they aren't swollen. I don't know what's wrong with me. Now I've got a pricking sensation in my testicles. I am so scared. I'll never make the same mistake again.
Sorry for my anxiety driven impatience. I was having a minor nervous breakdown. My sincere apologies, I know we all have lives and aren't glued to the forum (although I find myself glued to it, which sometimes helps, sometimes doesn't so I'm quitting it!)
Thank you so much for what you do here Joggen, you're a great person for it. At times, I accept that I really have nothing to worry about. Then I'll relapse and go nuts. You put it very, very well when you posed the question to me of wether I'd think about it if it were a civilian. Good analysis! Thank you.
Also, I'm going ahead with seeing a therapist! Already made an appointment for Thursday! Probably going to get a test again just because I know I'll have those seeds of doubt in the back of my mind if I don't, but hey, for the most part, reading your post helped tremendously. If that's negative, I'll just dismiss my symptoms as a common old virus I probably caught while in Spain, but not necessarily from my encounter.
Thanks again Joggen!
Thank you so much for what you do here Joggen, you're a great person for it. At times, I accept that I really have nothing to worry about. Then I'll relapse and go nuts. You put it very, very well when you posed the question to me of wether I'd think about it if it were a civilian. Good analysis! Thank you.
Also, I'm going ahead with seeing a therapist! Already made an appointment for Thursday! Probably going to get a test again just because I know I'll have those seeds of doubt in the back of my mind if I don't, but hey, for the most part, reading your post helped tremendously. If that's negative, I'll just dismiss my symptoms as a common old virus I probably caught while in Spain, but not necessarily from my encounter.
Thanks again Joggen!
You have to be patient. I answer questions as time permits, and generally post a reply within 24 hours.
All I can tell you is that you are no different than the hundreds of other worried wells I have seen who post about HIV Anxiety after having protected sex with a sex worker. When you made the decision to have sex, you used a condom, and must have thought it was safe at the time or you probably wouldn't have went through with it. But many times people in your situation regret the encounter with hindsight, for whatever reason. I personally think much of this has to do with society's views of commercial sex work. Guilt and shame often come into play here. Further, the prevaling view seems to be that almost all CSWs have HIV, when the reality is just the opposite- there are very few that have HIV.
There is also a lot of misinformation on what exactly is safe sex. Safe sex means using an intact condom throughout the entire act of intercourse. When that requirement is met, there is NO exposure (protected sex = no exposure). An intact condom is 100% biologically effective in preventing exposure to HIV. This should be patently obvious, but for some reason is often not made clear in discussions of safe sex on the Internet. You could not have been exposed to anything. If you were rubber gloves when handling some noxious chemical, you aren't going to be worrying if you were exposed if the gloves stay intact. It is the same principal with a condom.
The question I have for you, is that would you be nearly as worried if your partner were a civilian, knowing that you used protection? That is something for you to think about, and discuss with your therapist.
Regarding testing, your 6 week test confirmed that your fever and other symptoms were not due to HIV. HIV tests always turn positive 7-10 days after true ARS symptoms begin. Test results ALWAYS trump symptoms, and a 6 week test is sufficient to rule out a non-exposure event such as yours. You should view your 6 week test as proof that you were not infected. That is exactly what Dr. Hook told you, and you can get no better advice on HIV from anywhere else on the Internet than the physician moderated HIV forums on MH.
That is all I can really tell you. However, if you are really so anxious that you need to talk to somebody, please go ahead with your plans for getting professional counseling without delay. A face to face meeting with a professional therapist will be far more effective than anything anybody can tell you on an Internet forum.
All I can tell you is that you are no different than the hundreds of other worried wells I have seen who post about HIV Anxiety after having protected sex with a sex worker. When you made the decision to have sex, you used a condom, and must have thought it was safe at the time or you probably wouldn't have went through with it. But many times people in your situation regret the encounter with hindsight, for whatever reason. I personally think much of this has to do with society's views of commercial sex work. Guilt and shame often come into play here. Further, the prevaling view seems to be that almost all CSWs have HIV, when the reality is just the opposite- there are very few that have HIV.
There is also a lot of misinformation on what exactly is safe sex. Safe sex means using an intact condom throughout the entire act of intercourse. When that requirement is met, there is NO exposure (protected sex = no exposure). An intact condom is 100% biologically effective in preventing exposure to HIV. This should be patently obvious, but for some reason is often not made clear in discussions of safe sex on the Internet. You could not have been exposed to anything. If you were rubber gloves when handling some noxious chemical, you aren't going to be worrying if you were exposed if the gloves stay intact. It is the same principal with a condom.
The question I have for you, is that would you be nearly as worried if your partner were a civilian, knowing that you used protection? That is something for you to think about, and discuss with your therapist.
Regarding testing, your 6 week test confirmed that your fever and other symptoms were not due to HIV. HIV tests always turn positive 7-10 days after true ARS symptoms begin. Test results ALWAYS trump symptoms, and a 6 week test is sufficient to rule out a non-exposure event such as yours. You should view your 6 week test as proof that you were not infected. That is exactly what Dr. Hook told you, and you can get no better advice on HIV from anywhere else on the Internet than the physician moderated HIV forums on MH.
That is all I can really tell you. However, if you are really so anxious that you need to talk to somebody, please go ahead with your plans for getting professional counseling without delay. A face to face meeting with a professional therapist will be far more effective than anything anybody can tell you on an Internet forum.
Is there anyone that can help me? I just need someone to talk to, to help me with this anxiety, please, if anyone is there. Please.
I also just read that washing immediately after intercourse increases the risk??? If so, I washed right afterwards with soap and water. Please tell me this isn't true.
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Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Condoms are the most effective way to prevent HIV and STDs.
PrEP is used by people with high risk to prevent HIV infection.
