STD/HIV Anxiety

[blackstaff]

Hi,

Over the past year I had multiple encounters with CSW's. All of them were protected vaginal yet unprotected oral. I understand that unprotected oral is a low risk for HIV and I have already had complete STD tests at 9 weeks and 13 weeks. The HIV test at 13 weeks was a rapid one. All of them were negative.

Now the issue that I have is that my symptoms came before the anxiety. It started with some muscle pain and bumps on the groin which prompted me to go for testing. This was followed by long lasting headache and flared up allergy amongst other symptoms. I have seen a few different doctors to rule out other possible causes for the symptoms and there doesn't seem to be a cause. The chief reason that I have trouble being at peace with the anxiety explanation is that my symptoms came before any HIV/STD anxiety? Am I being unreasonable here?

I believe I could be in some vicious cycle where my anxiety is fuelling my symptoms and vice versa... is there any action that I can take to start feeling better. I have tried anti-anxiety pills and they didn't have any effect either. At this point I feel that if my symptoms disappear I could let go of the anxiety but perhaps I am looking at it the other way round??

The anxiety is perhaps being further fuelled by my obsession with theoretical possibilities, what-if I have caught some super-undetectable strain of HIV, what-if I am one of those exceptional cases who did not sero-convert. What if I have one of the rare STD's like XMRV or HTLV or some yet to be undiscovered disease. I am perhaps spending too much time browsing on the internet, I mainly do it to receive confirmation that I am fine but as with everything online there is sometimes conflicting information which further feeds the anxiety.

Is there anyone else here who underwent a similar experience and can share with me how they managed to come out. Any immediate steps I could take to resolve this. Even the confirmation that there is some hope out of this mental rut I have gotten in would be appreciated. It has been about four months for me and I would like to get back to my life. I am currently thinking about CBT, does anybody here has experience with that or any similar therapy especially if it fixed their physical symptoms?

P.S. - Based on the forum rules I could not find any unanswered question to reply to so shall be hopefully be able to return the favour later.

[blackstaff]

Thanks I have already started seeking some counselling for this. I am also evaluating whether to see a CBT therapist, I was hoping to hear that there are other people who have underwent similar anxiety fuelled symptoms and that they come out of it and hopefully soon. These two months have felt like an eternity. Perhaps if there are any specific steps that helped I'd be willing to try them out as well.

Right now whether my symptoms be from anxiety or be they from any physiological cause I find them impairing my life significantly and I would like to do whatever I can to move on.

[joggen]

Symptoms don't diagnose HIV- tests do. Any run of the mill infection will produce similar symptoms. Over 99% of people who experience "HIV symptoms" actually have a harmless virus. And anxiety can fuel symptoms that are consistent with it as well. Forget about what you've read on the Internet: HIV has no specific symptoms.

I think your best bet is to talk with a therapist if you can't let this go. Most likely there is some underlying mental health disorder that is making you fixate on the theoretical possibilities that you mention (e.g. guilt, paranoia, untreated anxiety).