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I am deadly scared of being infected HIV..
Dear Docotr(s),
About 4 weeks ago I ahd a sexual contact with the boy of about 21-25 years old in the Netehrlands. I even paid him.
The facts are:
1. Mutual masturbation. I touched his penis, he touched mine.
2. No insertion, I mean NO penis-to-anal or penis-to-oral contacts from either of partners.
3. I had a smal wound on one of my finger. I am pretty sure that it was not bleeding. It appeared about 24 hours before the sexual contact and even that time it was not bleeding (at least I did not see the blood).
4. The boy did not have precum or maybe it was so small amount and therefore I spitted a bit of my salvia and wetted the head of his penis. So, I might touched my lips with my fingers (and there potentially could be some of his precum).
5. we did not have a french deep kissing, but touched lips-to-lips perhaps not more then two-three times.
6. he cummed on his stomach, then I cummed on his leg. I think my penis did not touche his semen, but I do not remeber for sure.
7. he told me that he is clean, no hiv. He told me that he is checking himself every 6 month.
8. I also put a condom on one of my fingers and sticked in his *** and massaged him for some minutes.
9. After 4 weeks, I have a fever and sour throught and a bit of cough. Some muscle pain. It lasts for 3 days already
Doctor, I am married and I am in panic. I do not know what to do. I feel my life is ruined. It was my first homosexual contact. I do not know hot to talk to my wife... I avoid having sex with her. Please, help me in estimating the risk. I really really am waiting for your fast reply.
Thank you. Sorry for the long mail.
About 4 weeks ago I ahd a sexual contact with the boy of about 21-25 years old in the Netehrlands. I even paid him.
The facts are:
1. Mutual masturbation. I touched his penis, he touched mine.
2. No insertion, I mean NO penis-to-anal or penis-to-oral contacts from either of partners.
3. I had a smal wound on one of my finger. I am pretty sure that it was not bleeding. It appeared about 24 hours before the sexual contact and even that time it was not bleeding (at least I did not see the blood).
4. The boy did not have precum or maybe it was so small amount and therefore I spitted a bit of my salvia and wetted the head of his penis. So, I might touched my lips with my fingers (and there potentially could be some of his precum).
5. we did not have a french deep kissing, but touched lips-to-lips perhaps not more then two-three times.
6. he cummed on his stomach, then I cummed on his leg. I think my penis did not touche his semen, but I do not remeber for sure.
7. he told me that he is clean, no hiv. He told me that he is checking himself every 6 month.
8. I also put a condom on one of my fingers and sticked in his *** and massaged him for some minutes.
9. After 4 weeks, I have a fever and sour throught and a bit of cough. Some muscle pain. It lasts for 3 days already
Doctor, I am married and I am in panic. I do not know what to do. I feel my life is ruined. It was my first homosexual contact. I do not know hot to talk to my wife... I avoid having sex with her. Please, help me in estimating the risk. I really really am waiting for your fast reply.
Thank you. Sorry for the long mail.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Welcome to our Forum. I will try to help by trying to clear up some misconceptions you appear to have about how HIV is transmitted.
Before I do, please let me point out that you o not know that your partner had HIV an if fact it is unlikely that he does. Most people are not infected. In addition, in the future, I urge you to ask partners about their HIV status before engaging in sex- most people will tell you the truth.
HIV is spread through penetrative genital or ano-genital sex. It is not spread by kissing. mutual masturbation, or rubbing genitals without penetration despite the fact that it is common for persons engaged in these activities to get each other’s genital secretions on one another. Similarly, HIV is not spread by surface contamination of surface wounds such as the one you describe with genital secretions.
Thus, there is no risk for HIV from the activities you have described, You do not need testing and your symptoms are due to something other than HIV. I hope my comments will be helpful to you. EWH
Before I do, please let me point out that you o not know that your partner had HIV an if fact it is unlikely that he does. Most people are not infected. In addition, in the future, I urge you to ask partners about their HIV status before engaging in sex- most people will tell you the truth.
HIV is spread through penetrative genital or ano-genital sex. It is not spread by kissing. mutual masturbation, or rubbing genitals without penetration despite the fact that it is common for persons engaged in these activities to get each other’s genital secretions on one another. Similarly, HIV is not spread by surface contamination of surface wounds such as the one you describe with genital secretions.
Thus, there is no risk for HIV from the activities you have described, You do not need testing and your symptoms are due to something other than HIV. I hope my comments will be helpful to you. EWH
Thank you Doctor!
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
I'm sorry you have a cold. A runny nose is in no way suggestive of HIV. EWH
Dear Doctor,
Today I have a runny nose, no fever and yet throat pain.
Shall these sympthoms reassure me that they are related to simply cold?
Thank you.
Today I have a runny nose, no fever and yet throat pain.
Shall these sympthoms reassure me that they are related to simply cold?
Thank you.
Dr Hook, please excuse me. I did not mean to hurt you.
Alienshadow, you are right. The problem (and the reason why I posted my question) is my symptoms of illness I have now. They look unusual to me. It is posisble that they look unusual because I want to think so...
I pray for what Dr Hook said. But believe me I am simply scared and canot stop thinking about what happened. Sorry if I sounded rude. Just being desparate. Cannot sleep, cannot eat.
Alienshadow, you are right. The problem (and the reason why I posted my question) is my symptoms of illness I have now. They look unusual to me. It is posisble that they look unusual because I want to think so...
I pray for what Dr Hook said. But believe me I am simply scared and canot stop thinking about what happened. Sorry if I sounded rude. Just being desparate. Cannot sleep, cannot eat.
Dr.Hook please forgive me....
Rus Dr.Hook has told you over and over again that you were not at risk and basically to move on.. Then you insult him by saying you want a second opinion.. Well excuse me if you cant seem to accept his advice.. The problem you are having is Number 1 Guilt Number 2 Anxiety and you are letting all this get to you for what reason we have no idea!! I would suggest seeking mental help go ahead and confront your wife with the secret desires you have... And one last final thought..
STAY OFF THE INTERNET!!!!!!!!
Rus Dr.Hook has told you over and over again that you were not at risk and basically to move on.. Then you insult him by saying you want a second opinion.. Well excuse me if you cant seem to accept his advice.. The problem you are having is Number 1 Guilt Number 2 Anxiety and you are letting all this get to you for what reason we have no idea!! I would suggest seeking mental help go ahead and confront your wife with the secret desires you have... And one last final thought..
STAY OFF THE INTERNET!!!!!!!!
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Asking for a second opinion is a waste of time and money. Dr. Handsfield and I have worked together for over 30 years and have never disagreed on the facts relating to HIV risk or on our assessments although our verbal styples are somewhat different. You would get the same answer from him. EWH
Doctor, sorry, one last thing.
You did not comment the fact that I fingered the boy. I used a condom on my finger and even after I filled it with water to sheck if there was any leak. There was not.
And regarding your sentence:
"Thus, base on what you have told me, I see no reason for you to be concerned about sex with your wife."
I tried to provide you with the honest information, I wrote all that I remember. Maybe I missed some details, but the fact is that we did not have any penetrative sex.
I know there are more doctors on this Forum, do you think it is worth to ask for the second opinion?
Thank you.
You did not comment the fact that I fingered the boy. I used a condom on my finger and even after I filled it with water to sheck if there was any leak. There was not.
And regarding your sentence:
"Thus, base on what you have told me, I see no reason for you to be concerned about sex with your wife."
I tried to provide you with the honest information, I wrote all that I remember. Maybe I missed some details, but the fact is that we did not have any penetrative sex.
I know there are more doctors on this Forum, do you think it is worth to ask for the second opinion?
Thank you.
Dear Doctor Hook,
Thank you for reassuring me. I will forget about it and come back to my normal life.
I was worried because it was my first sexual contact outside my family life for the last 12 years. And it happened to be homosexual.
I do appreciate you spent your time with me. Once more time thank you.
Thank you for reassuring me. I will forget about it and come back to my normal life.
I was worried because it was my first sexual contact outside my family life for the last 12 years. And it happened to be homosexual.
I do appreciate you spent your time with me. Once more time thank you.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Your fear is getting the best of you and the internet is not helping. We do not debate with internet sources on this Forum. Your situation, like that of many of our clients represents a great example of the power of the internet not only to inform but also to mislead. While there is much useful information available on the internet, much of it is also taken out of context or a bit unbalanced and some of it is just plain wrong. HIV is not spread by non-penetrative sex.
As I have told you, your exposures are not associate with HIV transmission. Thus, base on what you have told me, I see no reason for you to be concerned about sex with your wife. EWH
As I have told you, your exposures are not associate with HIV transmission. Thus, base on what you have told me, I see no reason for you to be concerned about sex with your wife. EWH
The more I think about it, the more scared I get..
I try to reconstract taht date. I do not think my penis or his penis ever touched our anuses, I simply do not remeber. Maybe accidentaly, not for long.
I know for sure, that he did not enter me and I did not enter him. Neither in the rectal nor in the mouth.
Is that safe?
I try to reconstract taht date. I do not think my penis or his penis ever touched our anuses, I simply do not remeber. Maybe accidentaly, not for long.
I know for sure, that he did not enter me and I did not enter him. Neither in the rectal nor in the mouth.
Is that safe?
And if I have sex with my wife now, is it safe for her?
Dear Doctor,
Thank you so much for your prompt reply. And I have much reliefe. Just to clarify a few things.
Actually I asked him before we had the contact, and he told me that he did not have HIV.
But I prefer to think that I do not know his status.
If I may refer to other internet resources, I see that some of them say that non-penetrative sex is safer, but not perfectly safe, so a small risk exists. But I could not an evidence of such cases. Do you know any?
Regarding the symptoms, fever and sore throat are not unusual to me, but it is only sore throat, no sign of sneezing this time.. And the throat is not geeting too bad, also unusual. This is strange. I think my temperature is ok now, but throat is not yet. There is also a deep cough from time to time, but not much. So, you do think this is not a sign of something worse then just a common cold or flue?
I appreciate your help.
Thank you so much for your prompt reply. And I have much reliefe. Just to clarify a few things.
Actually I asked him before we had the contact, and he told me that he did not have HIV.
But I prefer to think that I do not know his status.
If I may refer to other internet resources, I see that some of them say that non-penetrative sex is safer, but not perfectly safe, so a small risk exists. But I could not an evidence of such cases. Do you know any?
Regarding the symptoms, fever and sore throat are not unusual to me, but it is only sore throat, no sign of sneezing this time.. And the throat is not geeting too bad, also unusual. This is strange. I think my temperature is ok now, but throat is not yet. There is also a deep cough from time to time, but not much. So, you do think this is not a sign of something worse then just a common cold or flue?
I appreciate your help.
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