Odds, Risk, Kids, Tests?

[netherman2011]

Im will start from the beginning.  

On December 13th (10 days ago) I made a horrible mistake.  I hired a sex worker (local) and had 5 minutes of unprotected oral sex and then about 5 minutes of protected vaginal sex.  She seemed clean, very nice, and I asked her over and over again if she had HIV, to which she responded "If I did I sure as hell wouldn't be in this business" and that she tested every 3 months.

I started to think about my exposure and wondered if there's any chance of an HIV or STD infection.  I ejaculated into the condom, went to the bathroom and pulled it off (still intact) and washed myself clean with a towel.  No breakage (to my knowledge).

So I had some questions...

1.  Was there any risk for me with this?  Either the oral or the penetrative sex.
2.  Should I wait and get tested?

My MAIN concern is this.  2 nights ago I had unprotected sex with my wife, as we are desperately trying to conceive.   I can't help but feel I've somehow ruined both of our lives.  Should I be concerned about this?  Should I have not had unprotected sex with her?

Ive also had some shoulder pain within the last 2-3 days.  Ive read a little about the process of seroconversion.  I am very overweight, and concerned my immune system might take longer to develop antibodies.  Ive also had a somewhat dry cough as well.

I'm just very clueless about what Ive possibly done to myself, so if you could give me some helpful advise and point me in the right mental direction regarding this I'd greatly appreciate this.

Thank You.

PS....I called the sex worker a few days back asking her again about her STD status, and she tried to reassure me if I caught something, it wasn't from her.  She posts her services daily since Ive hired her.  

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Oh please.  If it had happened or if there was a meaningful risk don't you think I would have said so.  I recommended testing to try to help you move forward from your unwarranted and unjustified fears of infection, not becasue there is a menaingful risk.  EWH

[netherman2011]

Ok, I will get tested.  Has anybody in your experience or your care ever tested positive after having unprotected oral and protected vaginal sex?  I just wanna know my odds.

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Fever is a typical element of the ARS.  I remain confident that you do not have HIV from the exposure you have described.  It is also obvious however that you have lingering concerns over your exposure.  If your symptoms were due to the ARS, your tests would be positve. Thus, for this reason, i.e. to prove it to yourself and hopefully get some peace of mind, testing at this time is appropriate, but only if you can convince yourself to believe the test results.   EWH

[netherman2011]

It has been exactly 4 weeks since my encounter (Please looks above for the details of the encounter)

Since then Im starting to think maybe I might have a compromised immune system?  I was sick last weekend with a cold, now this weekend same thing.  I am experiencing very dry throat, very stuffy nose, and these small red pimples that show up on my hands, and 24 hours later they are gone.

Is fever always present when ARS symptoms occur?  because I have not had one.  You still think I dont have HIv and dont need to test?  I've delayed unprotected sex with my wife for one month now because im so scared.

I guess my question is...are the ARS when one gets them like a cold?  Or like a debilitating sickness/really bad flu?

This is my final question.  Do I need to test?

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Unrelated. EWH

[netherman2011]

Woke up with Litle red spots on my left hand.  You still think this is unrelated?  I'm so scared now.

[Edward W Hook, MD]

You have a cold, not HIV.  Condoms are highly effective for HIV prevention.  The timing is a coincidence, nothing more.  You can test if it will give you peace of mind however I can already tell you what the test result will be- you did not get HIV from the encounter you described.  EWH

[netherman2011]

It's been 2 weeks since my risk and I feel "cold" like symptoms.  Stuffy nose, small cough, maybe a little achey around the nexk and shoulders.  No fever persay, but general hot feeling.

Reason I ask is because Im in the time frame for ARS correct?

I guess my last questions are, how safe are condoms when it comes to penetrative sex?  Is it doesnt break am I considered to be in the clear?

Considering my symptom you still think I dont need test?  I'm still clear for unsafe sex with my wife for children?  I just think the timing of symptoms is too much of a coincidence no?

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Unrelated.  The ARS is a combination of multiple problems, not isolated shoulder pain.  EWH

[netherman2011]

I have this neck pain when I bend it forward and left...unrelated?  Is ars pains everywhere or localized?  Shoulder doesn't really hurt anymore.  I'd also have a fever and rashes yes?

[Edward W Hook, MD]

As I said, I see no reason for you to worry about sex with your wife.  

I personally see no need for testing.  EWH

[netherman2011]

What Im most concerned of is having unprotected sex with my wife...

am I in the clear here?

Do I even need testing according to you?

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Welcome to our Forum.  while I cannot promise you there were no STDs transmitted through this interaction it is very unlikely.  let me elaborate.

Simplest first- there is no risk for HIV or other typical STDs from condom protected sex. this proportion of your exposure should not be a problem.

As for receipt of unprotected oral sex, oral sex is an inefficient way to transmit STDs.  Of the bacterial STDs only gonorrhea and nongonococcal urethritis (NGU) are transmitted through oral sex; neither HIV or chlamydia is transmitted in this way and without an obvious sore or lesion on your partner’s mouth, the chances of syphilis and herpes is likewise tiny.   If you had gotten gonorrhea or NGU you would have most likely developed symptoms of urethritis (penile infection) within a week o f exposure.  Even if your partner had an STD (any STD and it is likely she did not), most exposures do not lead to infection.  In your case, you had a single exposure; I would urge you not to worry. If it will provide peace of mind, you could go to your local STD clinic or health care provider to be tested at this time.  

I would not worry that the shoulder pain you describe is related to this encounter.  

I hope my comments are helpful.  EWH