need to put my mind at rest

[miket08]

i recently posted on another forum, but would like to hear from you. i recently had a gay massage in thailand. whilst im aware that the stats say i will be fine (there was NO anal sex and NO oral sex either protected or unprotected) i still cant help worrying that perhaps there is a possibility and my mind is running wild. the venue was very clean and both the worker and myself showered. the massage commenced, after about 5 minutes the worker rimmed me for a period of about 2 mins, then fingered me for a minute, followed by some frottage that involved pressing his testicles against my anus area, but im sure no penetration. Then the worker had to go to the toilet, however i did hear him wash his hands. he came back and continued the massage. soon after he commenced fingering me quite fast and there was a lot of rubbing against each other and a little kissing and we mutually masturbated. there was no anal sex or even oral however my concerns lie with;
-fingering. im aware the risk is extremely low but what if there was a bit of pre-*** on his fingers or even a bit of *** after we masturbated (pretty sure the fingering stopped as soon as he cummed anyway, but cant exactly remember) i did not see any wounds or marks on his fingers that i can recall
-when we mutually masturbated, he did come over my chest some landed on my genital area. however im positive none landed near the anus or urethra. if it did land on the urethra is there a risk?
-also as it was in thailand is my risk greater? i have heard 1 in 4 people in the sex industry in pattaya are HIV positive?
soon after climax we cleaned up, i showered and left. i believe my risk is zero, and never done this sort of thing before. should i get tested, most advise is telling me testing is not even neccesary. it was 12 days ago now and i have not had any other signs of STDS (ie from the rimming). Besides putting my mind at rest, do i need to have a HIV test at all given there was no oral or anal intercourse?

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

I agree with the several responses you had on the HIV community forum.  Why?  You give the reason yourself:  "the stats say i will be fine (there was NO anal sex and NO oral sex either protected or unprotected) ".  As far as your specific questions go, all of them are "what if?, what if?, what if?"  What if I get hit by a meteorite?  I hope it doesn't happen, but I'm not going to go around worrying about arcane and extremely unlikely traumatic events or health risks and neither should you.

To answer the closing question, you already know that you don't need testing except possibly for "putting my mind at rest".  Only you can decide if you need it for that reason, but it is obvious that your emotional reaction to the exposure is what is going to drive your decision, not rational analysis.  It's no big deal to be tested, so probably you should just do it.

I'm not going to entertain any follow-up comments or questions.  There is nothing you could add that would change my opinion or advice, so let's just not go there.

Best wishes--  HHH, MD

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

You're welcome.

[miket08]

hi doctor

thanks so much for your comments. your reply did highlight what others had advised me. i guess i was just looking for someone to tell me 'mike, your ok, get over it, no testing is required'... and thats what i got. however the anxiety of the event sure took over. i have not replied, as i was smart enough to recognise that the psycholgical stress of the event was somewhat clouding the true risk at hand. all the 'what ifs' were causing lack of sleep and constant panic. my brain was starting to tick over and i was thinking crazy things like 'did we do more' and 'maybe i cant remember some of the act' , 'how am i going to tell my family i have HIV?!.' etc etc

I went and received councelling. i urge all people in my position to do the same thing. talking about the issues at hand face to face helped my resolve many of the thoughts that were going on.

the independent advise also considered the 'what ifs' and even if they occured, the risk is so small still that testing is not warranted. therefore ive decided not to get tested, as the anxiety of getting tested probably outweighs any tiny (non-existant) amount of risk and get on with my life with the assistance of councelling to get through the grief of this event.

Just wanted to say also i found that searching for answers on the net became an issue in itself as it just creates more anxiety. true advise from a doctor like youself (or educated forum moderators) is certainly beneficial however and to the point and i thank you for your time

regards

Mike