Aa
bad day
I have no question i just want to vent i've had a very bad day. I broke up with my fiance of 3yrs today boyfriend of 4! Im freaking out and i'm scared and i am not sure if this decision was right or wrong. Im gonna have to go through tx alone and im just freaking out.
Well...presumably you broke up with him for reasons that have nothing to do with treatment. To stay with him just so that he can be there for you during treatment and knowing you're going to kick him to the curb once you're done treatment would be just incredibly selfish. It's also not fair to waste someone's life if you know you're done with them. Best to let them get on with theirs instead of leading them on. Best to let each of you get on with pursuing your happiness. Presuming this relationship was over for you...I think you did the right thing and with a degree of integrity that's commendable.
As for getting through treatment alone - I had a boyfriend when I was getting geared up to go through treatment. Relatively new and short term relationship, nothing at all compared to yours, granted. We'd known each other for awhile though and he told me he would stand by me, even if the relationship didn't work out, as a friend. While I was waiting for the biopsy results, he bailed completely all of a sudden and cut off contact. He did me a favour. It was upsetting at the time but that was what made me determine not to count on anyone other than myself and anything else was bonus - made me think about what I needed to do to get myself through treatment and what supports I needed to put in place for myself. That experience made me really think about what resources I needed from myself to be able to get through treatment. I also learned an important lesson because I believe he truly meant what he said at the time and then just figured he couldn't. So what I learned and what I kept with me was that people will say things and promise you things and they may mean them at the time but they will not necessarily be able to follow through. When I went through treatment, I was surprised by the folks who stepped up to the plate...and surprised by the ones who had talked big talk but turned out they didn't or couldn't follow through...only I was okay because I'd already determined not to count on anyone's talk and not to *count on* anyone but myself. I had arranged a counsellor to go see once a month, I found this support forum here and I had a local Hep C support group...and I did have people in my life who were there for me, friends, co-workers and family. I appreciated those who were there for me and didn't waste time being upset about the ones who couldn't be or weren't there, just let them go their way. I lived alone, had adult children who lived away from home but only one of them close enough to help on occasion, my daughter an hour away was the closest. I did pretty darn good and frankly, I was happy to go through treatment single and living alone. Nobody to worry about not being sufficient for them and nobody I was being a burden to. I give a certain amount of credit to those who have to not only weather treatment but weather the stress on relationships and families. It was easier for me in that regard.
You'll do fine. Give yourself time to get over this and remind yourself of the reasons you did this and that it's not right to take advantage of someone. Put supports in place for yourself and understand you've got the resources within yourself to get through it. You'll do fine. Good luck with this.
As for getting through treatment alone - I had a boyfriend when I was getting geared up to go through treatment. Relatively new and short term relationship, nothing at all compared to yours, granted. We'd known each other for awhile though and he told me he would stand by me, even if the relationship didn't work out, as a friend. While I was waiting for the biopsy results, he bailed completely all of a sudden and cut off contact. He did me a favour. It was upsetting at the time but that was what made me determine not to count on anyone other than myself and anything else was bonus - made me think about what I needed to do to get myself through treatment and what supports I needed to put in place for myself. That experience made me really think about what resources I needed from myself to be able to get through treatment. I also learned an important lesson because I believe he truly meant what he said at the time and then just figured he couldn't. So what I learned and what I kept with me was that people will say things and promise you things and they may mean them at the time but they will not necessarily be able to follow through. When I went through treatment, I was surprised by the folks who stepped up to the plate...and surprised by the ones who had talked big talk but turned out they didn't or couldn't follow through...only I was okay because I'd already determined not to count on anyone's talk and not to *count on* anyone but myself. I had arranged a counsellor to go see once a month, I found this support forum here and I had a local Hep C support group...and I did have people in my life who were there for me, friends, co-workers and family. I appreciated those who were there for me and didn't waste time being upset about the ones who couldn't be or weren't there, just let them go their way. I lived alone, had adult children who lived away from home but only one of them close enough to help on occasion, my daughter an hour away was the closest. I did pretty darn good and frankly, I was happy to go through treatment single and living alone. Nobody to worry about not being sufficient for them and nobody I was being a burden to. I give a certain amount of credit to those who have to not only weather treatment but weather the stress on relationships and families. It was easier for me in that regard.
You'll do fine. Give yourself time to get over this and remind yourself of the reasons you did this and that it's not right to take advantage of someone. Put supports in place for yourself and understand you've got the resources within yourself to get through it. You'll do fine. Good luck with this.
"...people will say things and promise you things and they may mean them at the time but they will not necessarily be able to follow through."
I'm guessing you've closed down a bar or two at last call?
I'm guessing you've closed down a bar or two at last call?
I wasn't keeping him around for tx i was keeping himaround because i love him and o didn't know what to do about our screwed up relationship! I don't want him around just because i'm sick its a long story so i won't try and explain it but i am not so cruel to keep him out of selfishness just for this. The tx comment was just a fleeting thought in the middle of an emotional breakdown i was and am having.
"...people will say things and promise you things and they may mean them at the time but they will not necessarily be able to follow through."
I'm guessing you've closed down a bar or two at last call?
Ha, funny. Not very often, truth be told. Went many years without drinking at all and then only occasionally. Just been around long enough to experience people who talk good talk but their follow-through is weak. I'm sure we all have.
I'm guessing you've closed down a bar or two at last call?
Ha, funny. Not very often, truth be told. Went many years without drinking at all and then only occasionally. Just been around long enough to experience people who talk good talk but their follow-through is weak. I'm sure we all have.
"I wasn't keeping him around for tx i was keeping himaround because i love him and o didn't know what to do about our screwed up relationship! I"
Try reading that again without the dark coloured glasses. I didn't say you were. I said...IF you had decided to keep him hanging around only for that if you were finished with the relationship in every other way, it would have been incredibly selfish - and that giving him his walking papers in spite of knowing you are planning to start treatment soon showed some integrity and was commendable.
As for all the rest of it.....I'm not going to make a second attempt at trying to make a helpful comment when the first one didn't land as intended. Clearly things are complex and I wish you well with sorting through them.
Try reading that again without the dark coloured glasses. I didn't say you were. I said...IF you had decided to keep him hanging around only for that if you were finished with the relationship in every other way, it would have been incredibly selfish - and that giving him his walking papers in spite of knowing you are planning to start treatment soon showed some integrity and was commendable.
As for all the rest of it.....I'm not going to make a second attempt at trying to make a helpful comment when the first one didn't land as intended. Clearly things are complex and I wish you well with sorting through them.
I am going through tx alone and was afraid to do so at first. I am finding that while I appreciate the well intentioned efforts of my family and friends, I am glad to have my time by myself. I am not really feeling well enough to be "on stage." I guess everyone is different and I am truly sorry at the worst of times you have lost someone you love.
Your friends here will carry you through
Your friends here will carry you through
Hi. I went through tx a couple years ago and was with my fiance. He split up with me after tx. Now I am about to go through tx again and I am kinda happy that he's not around. This time I am taking more responsibility for finding food I want, yoga teachers who make house calls, and a group of friends to send an e-mail to every few weeks to say how I am and what needs I have. With my fiance, I had to use up alot of energy trying to be "normal" which I wasn't. All he could cook was spaghetti and meatballs. Yes, I miss him and my heart goes out to you. I wish you the best of luck.
I would imagine there were good reasons for the break-up if he was a boyfriend for four years and a fiance for three, but try to remember: sometimes a bad day is the beginning of a good life. The breakdown of a relationship always makes us question ourselves and the wisdom of our actions, and if you've been together that long, it's only expected that getting the "screws" out will be a bit tough and painful... hopefully you'll soon look positively on your new found space and freedom.
Change is always hard, Ninja, but it's often the catalyst for better things. As others point out, there are pros and cons to doing treatment alone; don't get too freaked out... hopefully it's a temporary feeling in the heat of the moment, and you can enjoy your independence and peace in the days to come. Hey, there are times when my husband, who's on treatment and having a bad day, tells me, "Leave me alone!"... you're already one step ahead of him ;).
Chin up, and take care of yourself. ~eureka
Change is always hard, Ninja, but it's often the catalyst for better things. As others point out, there are pros and cons to doing treatment alone; don't get too freaked out... hopefully it's a temporary feeling in the heat of the moment, and you can enjoy your independence and peace in the days to come. Hey, there are times when my husband, who's on treatment and having a bad day, tells me, "Leave me alone!"... you're already one step ahead of him ;).
Chin up, and take care of yourself. ~eureka
Thanks to everyone for the support if anyone thought i was yelling at you or upset with what you said i wasn't i appreciate it i was just in the middle of a rant and rage of feelings and i was sensitive and being jerky. Sorry again and thanks
I'm sorry i've been bipolar my whole there is no such thing as mentally stable! There are good days and bad days and having a rant doesn't make you unstable i think ranting especially in a blog or forum to blow if steam or stress is better then doing some other things! Anyway i'm actually quite solid minded for all my issues haha
I just wanted to say somethings and get them off my chest and do it in a way to not hurt ot drag people close to me into my drama. But im calm now was pretty soon after the breakdown it just something i do. But i understand how i need to be in the right state of mind and safe environment and as stable as i get befoe treatment i've been reading everyone's comments on it in the med section so im not rushing into treatment lightly im gonna make sure im in a good place first and i know its right for me. Thanks for the heads up about stable though even though i believe there isno such thing haha
Being bipolar can add to the sx of interferon. You should discuss that with your doctor and make sure he gives you medication to make your treatment more comfortable.
Best of luck with your treatment and your love life.
Best of luck with your treatment and your love life.
That's great that you seem to understand how to manage your own bipolar state to a certain degree. I have a g/f who is bipolar and while it's no picnic, she understands what her triggers are and she minimizes them where she can. Also good that you know you need to be in good mental health for treatment. I'd say you're doing pretty well on the mental prep side of things in arranging your life in ways that are optimal. I didn't have depression but life itself with it's various stresses can be a drain on your mental energies and resources so it's a good thing for anybody to do entering treatment to consider what their life situation will be at that time and try to make it as optimal as possible and have supports in place. Good luck to you with all of this. Stay strong.
Trish
Trish
Ya pinky, that's my point treatment is only going to magnify current issues. There is a bi-polar community on med help. Perhaps it's a better place for your rants.
Lady, if you haven't, you REALLY REALLY need to make sure your Dr is going to monitor you closely during treatment for escalating psych probs -even consider starting you on new/stronger antidepressants far enough prior to treating so they are at theraputic levels when you start. Treatment is famous for making underlying health problems worse which can force your Dr to stop your treatment mid-way. -And I haven't hear one person say "Yay, let's do that again!" after finishing.
For what it is worth, I believe everything happens for a reason and the breakup with your boyfriend may have been a blessing in disguise. You need as little stress in your life as possible when launching into it. -It is a time of finding inner strength to finish the treatment marathon by looking ahead to the next week, day, or even hour to make it through. Listen to everyone here. They all mean well and many have already been through it. ~MM
For what it is worth, I believe everything happens for a reason and the breakup with your boyfriend may have been a blessing in disguise. You need as little stress in your life as possible when launching into it. -It is a time of finding inner strength to finish the treatment marathon by looking ahead to the next week, day, or even hour to make it through. Listen to everyone here. They all mean well and many have already been through it. ~MM
Thanks everyone for input even though it doesn't look like it i actually have a pretty good grasp on my mental "problems" and james i guess i offended you but i don't feel i need to rant on the bipolar forum because my rant wasn't about being bipolar it was just a rant and this is the social site not the med forum so i figured it would be ok and i don't need advice on how to move forward as far as being bipolar by itself goes but having my problem's and having to do tx that's why my rantbelonged here! Thanks everyone!
Pink not offended at all, just thinking people that suffer from B-P would better be able to relate to what you deal with. Just as it's hard for me to get through to people what tx was like, who never did it. Or what post tx is like.
Be well girl all my best,
James
Be well girl all my best,
James
Oh ok sorry you know the one thing i hate reading words in a blog/forum and taking them the wrong way. I read books all thetime ad i wonder now that the world has gone technology crazy and we write to each other nd have o many mistakes, if while reading books i'm even onthe same pageas author was lol! Anywy cool thanks everyone for support!
with the exception of the occassional Troll, the commentary and advice here is well-intended but sometimes the tone is lost via cyberland. I wish you well through your treatment and that it may be uneventful. I base my feedback about the anti-Ds for treatment on what I have seen others experience and also on my own. I was about 2 months into treatment when I began getting very irritable and glum. I had never experienced depression as I have always been an undying optimist , but this behavior was very out-of-character for me. As the treatment drug me down, I withdrew from the world, and if it weren't for folks here, I would have continued to spiral. I doubt I would have become suicidal, but I can see how easily this could happen. Be aware that even those who do not have diagnosed brain chemical imbalances still can be affected. Best of luck -MM
"the commentary and advice here is well-intended but sometimes the tone is lost via cyberland. "
Let's not forget the occaisional hemorrhoid flare can contribute to an atmosphere that's short on harmony. Best to apply cucumber slices before clicking the send button. If it doesn't help the 'rhoids, at least you'll take yourself a little less seriously :)
Let's not forget the occaisional hemorrhoid flare can contribute to an atmosphere that's short on harmony. Best to apply cucumber slices before clicking the send button. If it doesn't help the 'rhoids, at least you'll take yourself a little less seriously :)
Another One Bites The Dust!!!! Dont worry be happy! Sure you wont have any problem's finding something else fun to do with your time ;-0).. Remember Sh-t Happen's!
Hope you are feeling better, and everything happens for a reason. Hugs Ginger
Hope you are feeling better, and everything happens for a reason. Hugs Ginger
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