Aa
Hepatitis C cured!
Reuters, April 1st, 2015
Doctors at the Mayo Clinic in Scottsdale, Arizona declared today that they had developed a cure for Hepatitis C that is just one pill, taken just once that would eliminate the need for costly regimens like those offered by Gilead Sciences who make the previous miracle drugs, Sovaldi and Harvoni currently being offered to patients with all stages of the disease.
"Wait, wait", said Doctor Iwish, a R&D specialist at Gilead, "Maybe we can unload some of this inventory first before people just jump onto the 100% effective and practically free bandwagon?"
The new drug is called Spumoni and not only is it completely effective, it tastes rather like Necco Wafers. Patients can choose what "flavor" they would like to consume to cure once and for all the once life-threatening virus. Already available in lemon, lime, orange, clove, cinnamon, the new Spumoni will soon be available in wintergreen, licorice, and chocolate.
"The challenge will be to limit patients to one dose - they taste that good", remarked Dr. Maycom Withsides who is looking forward to passing out the new treatment as if it were Halloween. "People with Hep C will just have to find something else to do with their time. Once cured, we are concerned that there will be a sudden wave of people who no longer will spend hours conducting research and chatting with other 'heppers' online. We are encouraging these soon to be former patients to worry instead about wrinkles, age spots, losing a few pounds and arthritis - you know, like most Americans in their age group."
April Fools Everyone!
Doctors at the Mayo Clinic in Scottsdale, Arizona declared today that they had developed a cure for Hepatitis C that is just one pill, taken just once that would eliminate the need for costly regimens like those offered by Gilead Sciences who make the previous miracle drugs, Sovaldi and Harvoni currently being offered to patients with all stages of the disease.
"Wait, wait", said Doctor Iwish, a R&D specialist at Gilead, "Maybe we can unload some of this inventory first before people just jump onto the 100% effective and practically free bandwagon?"
The new drug is called Spumoni and not only is it completely effective, it tastes rather like Necco Wafers. Patients can choose what "flavor" they would like to consume to cure once and for all the once life-threatening virus. Already available in lemon, lime, orange, clove, cinnamon, the new Spumoni will soon be available in wintergreen, licorice, and chocolate.
"The challenge will be to limit patients to one dose - they taste that good", remarked Dr. Maycom Withsides who is looking forward to passing out the new treatment as if it were Halloween. "People with Hep C will just have to find something else to do with their time. Once cured, we are concerned that there will be a sudden wave of people who no longer will spend hours conducting research and chatting with other 'heppers' online. We are encouraging these soon to be former patients to worry instead about wrinkles, age spots, losing a few pounds and arthritis - you know, like most Americans in their age group."
April Fools Everyone!
I should of known anything from the Scottsdale Mayo would be bull. One could say I have lost all respect for them. Past history
Seriously..... here it is the 14th... and you totally got me.... had me going all the way to the very end...... i had hope for a nano second!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Hepatitis Social Community
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Condoms are the most effective way to prevent HIV and STDs.
PrEP is used by people with high risk to prevent HIV infection.
