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Reaching out to others
A very good friend of mine is in end stage lung cancer and his life, I fear, is at end. I just lost a friend of mine to colon cancer last year, right as I ended my treatment, and another from lung cancer 3 years ago. Knowing these people, and their fight, made my treatment for hepatitis C easier, and seem somewhat trivial, though the treatment for it is not. It's a slow killer and you generally get more than one chance to beat it. Lung cancer is an entirely other story. Because of this ....
I have gone to the lung cancer forum several times over the past few months, and there is really no support there to speak of. Mostly desperation in unanswered posts, with no responses, and I find this incredibly sad. And reading them, it gives me a complete feeling of futility and not being able to help them since I know so little about lung cancer and becaue of the survival rates, it doesn't have the wealth of experience that this forum does because of the high survivability of hepatitis C. Even if 'things' don't work out with HCV treatment, you get 'years', not weeks.
And it got me thinking, after talking to my friend who despite being near the end of his life, I'd say, within a month...if I got the call as we speak, it would not surprise me. And he was...IS, a great man. I knew him for 15 years and we became pretty good friends and I did not know he was a decorated Vietnam War veteran. But, that's they kind of man he was. He did not need your approval or acceptance, but he was always generous to others handing it out. I could write volumes about his integrity..and that is just what I know of. His wife of 35 years, who was perfectly healthy, had a massive stroke 2 weeks ago.. We buried her last week. She was 59. He is 62.
It's just been such a sad sad three months for him, his son, and his friends.
But it got me thinking, after trying to get support and information on the lung cancer forum, how alone these people are and how desperate it must be to them, and their family and friends and perhaps there is a way, that we could help them.
The hepatitis social community has always been very active here, with lots of people and support and good humor where people often tell their stories and I think that would help these people a lot and I think it would help US a lot. Sometimes, people just need to, at 3 AM, need someone to talk to.
I think it would be good for us all to reach out. I come here every now and then, and find people like myself that have been here for several months/years and it would be a good thing for THEM to experience the same continuity that we have here.
I suppose I'm just rambling and hopeful and want to DO SOMETHING but I still think it would be a good idea to offer on the lung cancer forum, and places similar that have low survival rates where there doesn't seem to be much of response to answer questions because, they just aren't around, and give them OUR support AND encouragement.
There is just nothing sadder than reading those posts with NO responses and they are going through 100 times what we are/were. It's just sad.
Surely we can help.
I have gone to the lung cancer forum several times over the past few months, and there is really no support there to speak of. Mostly desperation in unanswered posts, with no responses, and I find this incredibly sad. And reading them, it gives me a complete feeling of futility and not being able to help them since I know so little about lung cancer and becaue of the survival rates, it doesn't have the wealth of experience that this forum does because of the high survivability of hepatitis C. Even if 'things' don't work out with HCV treatment, you get 'years', not weeks.
And it got me thinking, after talking to my friend who despite being near the end of his life, I'd say, within a month...if I got the call as we speak, it would not surprise me. And he was...IS, a great man. I knew him for 15 years and we became pretty good friends and I did not know he was a decorated Vietnam War veteran. But, that's they kind of man he was. He did not need your approval or acceptance, but he was always generous to others handing it out. I could write volumes about his integrity..and that is just what I know of. His wife of 35 years, who was perfectly healthy, had a massive stroke 2 weeks ago.. We buried her last week. She was 59. He is 62.
It's just been such a sad sad three months for him, his son, and his friends.
But it got me thinking, after trying to get support and information on the lung cancer forum, how alone these people are and how desperate it must be to them, and their family and friends and perhaps there is a way, that we could help them.
The hepatitis social community has always been very active here, with lots of people and support and good humor where people often tell their stories and I think that would help these people a lot and I think it would help US a lot. Sometimes, people just need to, at 3 AM, need someone to talk to.
I think it would be good for us all to reach out. I come here every now and then, and find people like myself that have been here for several months/years and it would be a good thing for THEM to experience the same continuity that we have here.
I suppose I'm just rambling and hopeful and want to DO SOMETHING but I still think it would be a good idea to offer on the lung cancer forum, and places similar that have low survival rates where there doesn't seem to be much of response to answer questions because, they just aren't around, and give them OUR support AND encouragement.
There is just nothing sadder than reading those posts with NO responses and they are going through 100 times what we are/were. It's just sad.
Surely we can help.
Heavy stuff and your post was sad and does ***** the heart as you think about everyone in the situation you described. Glad to hear from you as I too only come around every now and then but as I mentioned in another post I almost always leave encouraged and appreciate the fight that everyone has or is engaged in. I was glad to see many of the same names still around encouraging others. I appreciate greatly your desire to help and that likely 'constitutes' a call for you to do so. I have had family that also died of the same and it all seems so senseless, sad, and so discouraaging to watch or think about. Hang in there and keep the torch burning on your burden and you will make a difference... I wish you the best!
Your post almost made me cry.
I wish our society was more supportive in general for those of us who are sick and especially those dying.
I too have a friend battling cancer. She is alone, children having grown and moved away with lives of their own. Her community has a support group but she is often unable to drive. I phone and email trying to brighten her day when I can.
Somehow I wish we could all be free of fear and accept life and death as the inevitable cycle that it is.
How about some good news. A local philanthropist in S.F. recently granted millions of dollars for a new cancer research center.
I-horn, you are a good soul to be so concerned about the wellfare of others.
Peace, OH
I wish our society was more supportive in general for those of us who are sick and especially those dying.
I too have a friend battling cancer. She is alone, children having grown and moved away with lives of their own. Her community has a support group but she is often unable to drive. I phone and email trying to brighten her day when I can.
Somehow I wish we could all be free of fear and accept life and death as the inevitable cycle that it is.
How about some good news. A local philanthropist in S.F. recently granted millions of dollars for a new cancer research center.
I-horn, you are a good soul to be so concerned about the wellfare of others.
Peace, OH
Sorry about your friends, it seems sometimes we get so caught up with HCV that we forget there are many people that would gladly trade places with us. Theres people out there that just needs to know somebody cares.......Take care guy
Im very sorry to hear about your friend and what he is going thru. Without going into detail I know what you are going thru as well believe me.
A heartwrenching road to be on....and for the people we love and care for to see them so sick and helpless is a horror..I know.
I wish you strength and hope your friend finds strength and peace in the days ahead.
Thoughts are with you all.
CHARM
A heartwrenching road to be on....and for the people we love and care for to see them so sick and helpless is a horror..I know.
I wish you strength and hope your friend finds strength and peace in the days ahead.
Thoughts are with you all.
CHARM
I, too, was touched by your post, and so I went to the Lung Cancer forum to see what you were talking about. OMG, it made me so sad to see all those unanswered posts, all those people out there who are reaching for support. So I'm with you, and these others, I will do my best to lend support on that forum. I may have to do some research to do that, and yet, any honest answer will be better than no answer at all.
I appreciate your idea, of reaching out to those folks. When I lend support to someone, I will do so in honor of your friend. May his passing be peaceful.
Lapis
I appreciate your idea, of reaching out to those folks. When I lend support to someone, I will do so in honor of your friend. May his passing be peaceful.
Lapis
So sorry to hear about your friend. I will drop by the lung cancer forum and give support. Such a dreadful disease.
Deleted threads or the tone of this forum have nothing to do with the suffering your dear friend is having to endure. That topic is for another thread and another time and pales in comparison when one is dealing with lung cancer. Rather an insensitive thing to say. Please know my thoughts are with you.
dabdees
Deleted threads or the tone of this forum have nothing to do with the suffering your dear friend is having to endure. That topic is for another thread and another time and pales in comparison when one is dealing with lung cancer. Rather an insensitive thing to say. Please know my thoughts are with you.
dabdees
I'm very sorry about your friend.
Just wanted to say that I will keep your friend in my prayers, too. And may you be given the strength to be able to give the support needed.
Marcia
Just wanted to say that I will keep your friend in my prayers, too. And may you be given the strength to be able to give the support needed.
Marcia
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. My mother died of emphysema-from complications post lung transplant.
I will go by the jung cancer forum as well. I find it very sad that other forums don't have the support and connections that this one does. I know I wouldn't have gotten thru my tx as well without my friends here.
That probably explains the fact that we all still come back to offer support to others as well as to reach out for our own support.
I'll keep your friend in my thoughts and prayers,
Isobella
I will go by the jung cancer forum as well. I find it very sad that other forums don't have the support and connections that this one does. I know I wouldn't have gotten thru my tx as well without my friends here.
That probably explains the fact that we all still come back to offer support to others as well as to reach out for our own support.
I'll keep your friend in my thoughts and prayers,
Isobella
One of my best friend's wife is stage 4 non-small cell. I know it is incredibly hard.
It really is a heart breaking disease and it seems like it is never detected early. I know 2 people who were diagnosed when they broke a bone and had X-rays. I will stop in the lung cancer forum. It's just so hard to find anything positive or encouraging to say.
Mike
It really is a heart breaking disease and it seems like it is never detected early. I know 2 people who were diagnosed when they broke a bone and had X-rays. I will stop in the lung cancer forum. It's just so hard to find anything positive or encouraging to say.
Mike
Sorry to hear about your friend. Cancer is so wicked.
I feel so luck to have you all out there. I wish the same for those on other forums. I noticed the same thing on a cardiology forum (from when I had my PFO problems), that there was not the presonal link and support from the forum members as there is here. Just makes me grateful.... and sad for others who need the support.
I feel so luck to have you all out there. I wish the same for those on other forums. I noticed the same thing on a cardiology forum (from when I had my PFO problems), that there was not the presonal link and support from the forum members as there is here. Just makes me grateful.... and sad for others who need the support.
I've been sadly dismayed by the other forums as well and wondered why ours is so much more linked.
I think we tend to be more supportive here because there is less support for us, treatments are still in trial stage and we tend to talk less about it to those we socialise with. That adds up to a whole lot of shared empathy, compassion and information sharing.
My Dad died of lung cancer and my heart goes out to you and your friend's family. He was on drip morphine, spoke only on the outbreath, and died quietly in his sleep. My Mum died of emphysema; very devastating...
I've always thought it was the highest honor to be a part of anyone's birth or death, and while feeling powerless, it's amazing how much you are giving with your love and empathy (and yes, learning as well). Your post really touched me and I'm glad your friend has you...
I think we tend to be more supportive here because there is less support for us, treatments are still in trial stage and we tend to talk less about it to those we socialise with. That adds up to a whole lot of shared empathy, compassion and information sharing.
My Dad died of lung cancer and my heart goes out to you and your friend's family. He was on drip morphine, spoke only on the outbreath, and died quietly in his sleep. My Mum died of emphysema; very devastating...
I've always thought it was the highest honor to be a part of anyone's birth or death, and while feeling powerless, it's amazing how much you are giving with your love and empathy (and yes, learning as well). Your post really touched me and I'm glad your friend has you...
about my friend, he can't really talk much on the phone, becaue it tires him out, but he does write email and he STILL has the same sense of humor that he always had. That's why somehow, we, and medhelp, need to find a better way to support these people. Perhaps they feel like they would be intruding on antoher forum, but I think we should welcome them with open arms and offer the support we give ourselves, and perhaps, we could learn something in the process.
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