When Insults Had Class

[desrt]

When Insults Had Class   These  glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.



The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, "If you were my husband I'd poison your tea."
He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."


A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
  
"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."  - Winston Churchill
  
  
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).


"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas
  

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." -  Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend...... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.
  
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
  
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in  others." - Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand
  
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." -  Mae West

"Some  cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support  rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
  
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder
  
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." -  Groucho Marx

[frijole]

good ones.  I appreciate the laugh

frijole

[spectda]

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." -  Oscar Wilde

Great laughs, thanks

[R Glass]

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."

I’ve put that sticker on my motorcycle helmet 3 times and my wife rips it off.
Every time I find one I stick it on to see how long it last.

[jelise]

Ha ha - thanks for the laughs.  I like the two Oscar Wilde quotes the best :)

[Bill1954]

I think it’s a tie between:

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

and

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

These are all excellent, Desrt--

Bill :)