Women stuff hope you like

[scratchinghead]

  This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to
  American company - Proctor and Gamble, regarding their
  feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first
  paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors'
  choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.
  -------------------------------------------
  Dear Mr. Thatcher,
  
  
  I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads
  for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features.
  Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency,
  I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa
  dancing,and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and
  down the beach in tight, white shorts.
  
  
  But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary
  Flexi-Wings. Kudoson being the only company smart enough to
  realize how crucial it is that maxipads be aerodynamic. I
  can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month
  knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
  
  
  Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever
  suffered from the 'curse'? I'm guessing you
  haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right
  now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces
  violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from
  now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into
  what my husband likes to call 'An inbred hillbilly
  with knife skills.'
  
  
  Isn't the human body amazing? As Brand Manager in the
  Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a
  bit of research on what exactly happens during your
  customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'.
  Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness and
  cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings,
  crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely
  realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only
  last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to
  shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman
  Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's
  Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!
  
  
  The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that
  America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri
  pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter.
  
  
  Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I
  wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I
  opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the
  adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy
  Period.' Are you f_ _ _ kidding me? What I mean is,
  does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really
  think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness - is
  possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned
  above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James?
  
  
  FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak,
  there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in
  which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and
  lock yourself in your house just so you don't march
  down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle
  and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
  
  
  For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have
  to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it
  make more sense to say something that's actually
  pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or
  'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just
  picking on us?
  
  
  Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that,
  effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly
  profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business
  elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your
  Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of
  condescending ********. And that's a promise I will
  keep.
  
  
  Always  Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX

[Lady Lauri]

That is real ????? Wow, can't say I've had PMS quite that bad before! Tho if someone told me to have a 'happy period' during PMS, I may have knocked him over. But than, many times is was a 'happy period' as in....."WHEW, I'm NOT pregnant" ! :}

CS/Eureka....now imagine PMS AND Riba rage together....ohhhhhh nooooooo!!!
(really, it sucked! My loved ones stayed away those days,lol!)

LL

[eureka254]

ROFLMAO. Thanks for sharing that, OMG, too funny.
The 'inbred hillbilly with knife skills" has some writing skills, too!

(Chuckling a little, too, that CS jumped right on this thread, 'women stuff hope you like'... and wondering if it was what he expected lol)

[CockSparrow]

Who says you need to take Interferon for a decent bout of Riba Rage.
Just brilliant.

Bet the reply made interesting reading
CS