Possible Herpes Tranmission

[sunrise2525]

Dear Doctor,
I recently (2 days ago) had unprotected oral and vaginal unprotected sex with a new love interest. Only time it occured. After the fact she informed me she contracted herpes in college (she is 37). She informed me that she has not had an outbreak in over a year, she currently does not have an outbreak, has no feelings that one is coming on, and she takes daily valtrex. I am very worried and upset she did not tell me till after, but what is done is done. I am worried about being infected and after research I am confused about shedding and if the vaginal fluid caries it. I have this notion that if you have sex with someone with it, I will for sure contract it. Will you shed some light on my chances and situation. It is greatly appreciated. Thank you

[Terri Warren, RN, Adult Nurse Practitioner]

I would say that if you were going to develop lesions as a result of this contact, then you would notice something within 2-10 days, max a couple weeks.  

Just as an aside - if there is some way to let her know that you aren't seeing her anymore because you thought it wasn't a great match, rather than her herpes, that would be a kind thing to do.  Being rejected because of herpes is difficult - one of those things one has no control over getting and puts one on the line to be rejected.  Just a thought, and a thought the is shaped by many years of people dealing with this hard issue.  Good that you are going to seek testing later.  If you've only had 4 partners in your lifetime, then your risk of contracting herpes is low, though not zero.  

Glad you go the reassurance you were seeking.

Terri

[sunrise2525]

I am 39, and the relationship was not going to happen anyway. I have not been tested and need to be once the time is far enough out. I have only had 3 (including her) sex partners in the last 15 years due to my divorce. I was looking for some reassurance and I have found it here. I was told on the STD board that if I do not see any lessions in a couple weeks, I at least didnt catch anything from her. Do you concur

[Terri Warren, RN, Adult Nurse Practitioner]

I think the chances that you have contracted herpes from her is very small indeed.  However, since 90% of those who are infected don't know they have herpes, you could be infected previously and now know it.  How many sexual partners have you had in your life and how old are you?  You could certainly be infected and not know it.    In one study of people attending a family practice clinic setting, 30% of women in their 30's were infected with HSV 2, though 90% didn't know.  36% of women in their forties.  So in the post that you posted on the STD board, you mentioned that you had ended the relationship because of this.  I can see being upset about her lack of openness about having herpes prior to you having sex with her, but ending a relationship over this seems a bit extreme to me, particularly if this is someone you enjoy.  Keep in mind that when you move on to the next partner, if they are women in their 30s or 40s, about one in three of them will be infected, but the majority don't know.  If herpes is this significant an issue to you, then I would suggest that you never have sex with someone, protected or not, without having them tested first for herpes.  In general, mutual STD testing is a good idea anyway, but for you, particularly so.  If this past partner was not having an outbreak, not feeling one coming on, and taking daily Valtrex, and she knows she is infected and can observe for symptoms, your risk of getting herpes from her is very low indeed.


Terri