confession

[Flickan]

So I need to confuse in someone and not wanting to be judged or anything. So during my c section I had a reaction to the meds that not only made me numb nut also put me in a trance. After getting sick, I closed my eyes and couldn't open them again for about 3 1/2 hours and coulsnt talk. Sometimes I could respond by grunting nut coulsnt communicate otherwise. So, hubby got all that time along with his folks to bond with Cadence. I didn't see her til 9:30 pm after having her at 6. Move ahead, and hubby has been great. I feed and he will help burp her and change her diapers since it was hard for me to use the changing table without being in pain.  The problem is now all I feel like is a food source. I don't feel like I have a bond with my baby. I feel like I am just the food source. I've tried to change that but can't. I know part of this is wacky hormones coming down but the feelings are still there.  It's not fair to my hubby or to my daughter. I just don't know how to work through it. I knew I would be likely to get post partum so I have been on anti depressants since a week before she was born. Hoping by sharing here I can work through it.

[Flickan]

Thankyou guys....I'm working on it...this morning is better. I sat n told hubby all the crazy things going through my head and in his own way trying to help me.

[katngary143]

I was completely numb also wasit down I couldn't walk for two days my husband had to change him and take care of him all I did was breast feed him so how u r feeling I felt like that in a way also bc I really couldn't do anything and I notice when I got home and my husband wad telling me stuff that happened during my delivery and when we were in the room that I didnt even remember !! My baby is almost2 months and I love to breast feed him now I had to work through that thought and not be all depressed bc I have dealt with depression all of my life and I knew I would be prone to getting post partum...I mean if u have to take meds then go for it more power to u girlie whatever works for and whats going to help u which is important but u will gey better it just takes time :)

[thirdtimemum]

what you're feeling is completely normal, don't beat yourself up about it! When they are newborns thats pretty much what they rely on you for, and its so easy to feel like all you do is feed them. I was the same, I felt like Bailey was permanently attached to me, but believe me, as time goes on and baby gets older your bond with each other gets stronger. It can be so hard to think ahead like that while its still early days, but trust me. You're so lucky to have your husband being a great support to you and helping with the baby too. I still can't get my other half to change a dirty diaper yet! It will all get better in time, but yeah, those crazy hormones can kick in and make us have the craziest thoughts.

[tomorrow264]

Oh hun don't feel bad.That's part of why I hated having c-section because I felt limited on how much I could care for my baby and that because of it I was somehow less of a mom. But I have learned that that couldn't be farther from the truth. I think us moms are too hard on ourselves. You and her have a bond and it happened before she was even born. It happened while she was hearing you talk and sing to her, while your heartbeat lulled her to sleep, as the sway of your walk comforted her and all these things are still there. Each day her bond grows stronger with you because she knows that as long as you are around she will be fed and that is so huge for these little ones. Its their most important need and having this need met tells them they can depend on you and that they are cared for.