I'm close to DX and SCARED!!!!!!!

[RAY911]

I went to my Doc on Monday and there were changes in my brain MRI but just one more lesion..

so we talked for quite a while she did my neuro exam,  she set up a VEP AND SSEP on Friday then on Monday she set up a Cervical spine w/wo contrast.  she put on the order,,, on 3t machine.. which is good.

I'm feeling really down,, just so tired. and worried,, i'm worried about how much longer I can work.. i'm having a hell of a time.. then i'm worried about the medications for ms,, truthfullly I havent read much on them only that they can make you gain weight.... uggggg that's just what i need NOT!!!!!!  also that sometimes it just doesent work, like some people it helps with there symptoms and others it does not help at all?????  WHAT?

I dont know i guess its the unknown that scares me.  I know i'm being needy,,,, and I HATE that word,, but it sure describes me these days.

I'm finding myself very very sensitive and I hate it.. and i'm sorry if i've made people back off.  from me becasue of it..

I know this too shall pass, right????????
I'll let you all know how it goes.

I'm wondering if the SSEP'S AND VEP'S hurt and also if they make you even more tired?  I have a huge test to study for,  also I work on Saturday at my job then have 8 hours of clinicals on Sunday.  I just need the energy to get threw this.. My doc did tell me to QUIT smoking,,,, I keep saying when the stress level lessens I will,,,,,lololololololol
also she told me again how important it is for me to take my vitamin D and also told me to take vitamin B complex,, after these test's are done she wants me right back and we will go from there.

I do appreciate every single one of you here, Your all awsome and I do feel blessed to have found this forum.

Ray

[Quixotic1]

Good to see you back on the forum!  Yes, as your doc gets more serious about looking it does raise the anxiety level.  You may need to get some help for your anxiety.  It's normal at this point, but if someone has a natural tendency to be anxious and sensitive, sometimes it is better to get it treated.

First concern yourself with the diagnosis.  It does no good to look ahead and begin worrying about the meds for MS before you have a diagnosis.  Above all don't worry about weight gain, which is not particularly a side effect of the MS Disease Modifying Meds.  It can be of some of the meds used to treat some of the symptoms.

Do what you need to do to make through this time.  If you are so sensitive and anxious it will affect your performance on the clinicals and your relationships with the teachers who will be critiqueing you and teaching.  Acceptance of criticism  is an important part.

Good luck, and I answered your VEP post.

Quix

[happyname]

To: Ray

I too have had the VEP which was painless but I didn't care for the sticky stuff they used for the leads.  I was diagnosed 3 years ago and am on Avonex.  I chose it because it is once a week given in a muscle.  My hubby gives me the injection which is funny since I give shots at work....go figure that it just makes me feel better to not see it coming.  Honestly, I can tell you that for me it really works.  We depend on my income with one kid starting college this year so I can relate to the stress about work.  I have found that many of the things I once feared are much easier with the support of the people that I have around me both at home and work.  Just being able to acknowledge your fears is a sure sign of being strong enough to work through this tough time.  My neurologist was even able to prescribe a medication to help with the fatigue and I have also seen an occupational therapist who helped me with my memory issues and basically re-taught me how to organize my life.  

I wish you the best!  
Joy

[LLWB]

I can't tell you about the tests, but just wanted to say I was so happy to see you here again. I think it's the unknown that is scary, and all of the "what if's" You know what they are, "What if I fail" What if I'm sick? What if.........you fill in the blank. I think knowing is always better than not knowning....this from one who practices the Ostritch Theory.bury your head in the sand, and it will all go away!

Take care dear one, just study hard and do the best you can, then put it in God's Hands.

Hugs & Prayers, Maggie

[santana8]

I had the VEP, and it was completely painless!!!!!!!!!! The only complication from it was some of the sticky stuff was still in my hair and on my forehead!!

It is kind of hard to stare at the spot with all of the movement from the checkerboard pattern on the moniter, but I guess maybe that is why it was possitive with me.

I have had the same feeling you are experiencing right now a lot of times throughout the last two years, especially when waitng on new results or when changes come along.  I am getting ready to see a new neuro on the 29th, and I worry about what he will say about my ADEM dx.  I worry that he might say MS.    I know that MS is a possibility for me, but still I fear hearing those words!!!!

And you are right, the unknown is scarry, and that is a completely normal human reaction!!  You are not needy, you are normal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am glad that you are back and are reaching out to your friends for support!!  

Your friend,
~Santana~

[mrsturbo]

My VEP also did not hurt.  But I am taking a B complex which can help level out your moods, and irritability, and help with being over emotional.  They really do help.

[margaretta]

Too funny -  they censored me.  Perhaps I should have said that it may have felt a tiny PINprick.  

[margaretta]

I had a VEP this spring and it didn't hurt.  They attached some things to my head which may have had a tiny *****, but if it did, it wasn't  a big deal.  My head had to be a certain distance from the screen so once I was in the right spot I wasn't supposed to move (and had to tell them if I did move on accident).  Once I was set up, they told me to stare at a dot (sticker) in the center of the monitor and then turned off the lights.  The screen flashed a checkerboard pattern, but I wasn't supposed to look at that at all, just the dot.  I think they did two runs for each eye.  It didn't seem to take that long, but I think I was in the room for about 45 minutes.

It didn't hurt, but it was hard to stare at one spot with things moving in the background.  There was also a light below the monitor that was distracting and they covered it when I asked them too (the tech was grumpy about it and said I just shouldn't look at it, but oh well).   My hair was messed up at the end and I had some gunk on my forehead, but they had a comb and paper towels so I had a chance to clean up before I left.

I'll be thinking about you and I hope the tests go well.

Margaret

[wonko]

I think you underestimate yourself!

You've written about your hectic schedule before.  If you are pulling through all of that, just imagine how well you might do with treatment!

I truly hope your condition has been spotted early enough to help protect your health and overall wellbeing for a long, long time.

Good luck researching meds, not sure which people here are the biggest experts but I'm sure they will come to your aid.

Are clinicals part of nursing?  I'm a lamewad and have no clue, but best of luck.  I know you'll make us all very proud!

Take care, and I'm glad to see you are back to share your emotions--that many locked inside you can't do you good!  Spill 'em, girl!

[spastic]

Sweetie, it is sooo normal for you to be feeling like you are, it is quite alright.  I am so glad to see you posting again.  I don't have much insight on the VEP and SSEP but I am thinking of you.  I think the meds depends on the individual, I have heard so many different things about them.

Good luck on your test, I know you will do great on it!!!!  :)

As for smoking, I feel the same way, I smoke, I know I shouldn't, I have those nodes in my lungs and still smoke.  It is my crutch and I know I should stop but darn the stress anyway!!!  I see the pulmonologist today and find out what exactly those things are.  

Well Sweetie, I am thinking of you.

Love Ya,


Ada