10907499 tn?1413739044

Had Surgery-Cavernous Hemangioma R Frontal and Temporal Lobes

Hi! I'm new to this forum and to this site. I was diagnosed with complex partial seizures about 20 years ago, while in the Air Force. I had tried all meds but failed to see any improvement in my condition. I was getting an MRI and EEG done every year post-surgery (in 1998) for a few years but tired of the treatment and visits because I was doing so well post-surgery. Because I was told that the location of one of the hemangiomas was near my memory cortex, we did memory tests (which I honestly do not feel are a very accurate test of one's memory funtion/capability, come on..... memorizing 5 words and repeating them every minute or so can't be a standard of measurement across the board!). I tried taking a few college courses some years after my surgery and after I discharged from the military, but find that I'm not doing so well. I had decided to go for evaluations and was found positive for ADD-PI (attention deficit disorder- primarily inattentive, the daydreamer). So we tried Ritalin and Dextroamphetamine but find that I still have problems. It's not a daily problem that affects things I've known to do on a daily basis and some other daily functions that don't follow a specific plan. More detailed, I can remember to get dressed in the morning all the way up to changing a plan and doing something I don't ordinarily do daily such as finding my way to a new restaurant I'd heard about- a new learned and different function. Nothing seems to help my memory with new information from college classes. In this endeavor to take college courses and finish my degree, with my grades coming back with exam grades in the 60's and 70's, I've been experiencing now a lot of depression and anxiety. Depression about being a single mother (I was married 16 years to their father for any who like to come to conclusions and judge), depression about retirement and how I'll be able to afford to live, depression about not passing my exams well, depression about my mental functions, depressed about feeling like a failure, depressed about the example I'm setting for my children because I work and study and don't get to spend a lot of time with them and how am I supposed to explain to my children that I couldn't succeed. Anxiety about my age (39 1/2), anxiety about if I don't finish my degree and provide for my children and retirement what person is going to continue to hire a woman in her 50's, 60's, 70's besides WalMart, financial anxiety and depression. This issue with my memory makes me question the surgery and side effects, and I am hoping to find anything out there that will be a light at the end of my tunnel so that I can succeed and be proud of myself and be happy and provide for my children and myself. The stress is eating away at me.

This discussion is related to Cavernous Hemangioma in Brain.
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10907499 tn?1413739044
Anti-depressants have an unpleasant list of side-effects. I feel that talking to my family and friends (to a degree) helps me to try to solve whatever issues I'm having trouble with instead of meds.

I'm taking a hybrid class at a local 4 year college. I go to class every Saturday for a few hours. My class material, quizzes and homework are online

I worry about this because I don't want to struggle with my memory like this. I want to be able to take control and be "normal". I hate feeling like I'm disabled somehow due to the existence and location of the cavernous hemangiomas and surgery. Thanks for the uplifting words @flipper336
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1780921 tn?1499301793
First and foremost you are NOT a failure!!! I know exactly what you are going through and I am not just saying that to make you feel better. I had a tumor removed from my right temporal lobe and cavernous sinus along with the dead brain tissue that it caused. The ordeal left me with short term memory problems and pretty much every type of seizure there is.

I suffered from depression, felt like a failure and had anxiety issues, and sometimes I still do. I don't know if it will ever stop completely but it does get better. Talk with your doctor about this and get put on a anti-depressant if need be. There was a time that went to the family doctors office and could not even remember why.

You said you are going to college which I think is beautiful. Are you getting your degree online or are you going to a campus?
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