progressive head pressure and derealization

[jbrown365]

For the past 18 years I have suffered a strange feeling of everything looking fake, and a feeling of almost being withdrawn into my self. i have since learnt about Deralisation (DR) and depersonalisation (DP). I mainly have derealisation.

What kicked started my DR was an oculargyric crisis (a dystonic reaction: fixed stare, distorted rigid position, paralysis). Which was brought on by an adverse reaction or overdose of Stemetil (prochlorperazine). I was 15, and in hospital for an appendectomy. I was given Benztropine to counter the effects of the stemitil induced oculargyric crisis.

I have trawled the net for any DR/DP sufferers that have similar symptoms to me, and i haven't found anybody. I understand the mechanism of how i possibly got DR, i.e. In my case the oculagyric crisis was extremely stressful and traumatic, exacerbated by the fact that i suffered two crisis within 4 hours. I guess, (although I've never really given it much thought until recently), as a child i was always a deep thinker, and possibly suffered from anxiety.  So i may have been predisposed to DR/DP and just needed a catalyst to take me there.

My problem with my DR is this: The onset of my DR following the crisis was accompanied with a sensation at the back of my head. i.e. immediately following the crisis,  I had a pressure sensation at the back of the head and foggy feeling (DR).  These two conditions have been chronic and progressive ever since.  Thats the anomaly about my DR experience.  By chronic i mean i have had both the DR and pressure sensation since i was 15. They have not fluctuated in severity up and down, they have just both got progressively steadily worse over the last 18 years.  They seem tied to each other.  My DR now makes me feel extremely distance from what i felt like to be normal and the sensation, which started at the back of the head has since spread over to encompass my entire head.  The pressure had, until recently, almost reached the point like my head was going to explode.  

After discovering that i had DR (about 2 weeks ago) i learnt about anxiety and its relationship with DR.  i have since practiced deep breathing techniques, started a better diet, and exercised more.  I have also stopped drinking alcohol (though i was never a very heavy drinker).  these changes (especially the breathing & relaxation) have taken the bit of edge off the head pressure, though the DR still remains.  

I have suffered over the years with headaches and migraines, but  these may have been brought on by the years of stress, worrying about what was wrong with me.  I have also, in the past, had MRI and CT scans, which were normal.  Incidentally i started suffering Tinnitus and sinus problems following the onset of DR. I also developed myopia (although most of family are short sighted) not sure how relevant these conditions are to the DR and head pressure.

My questions are:

Is my experience unique or does anybody have DR/DP closely tied to a physical condition?

Does anybody have DR that is progressive (continues to worsen regardless)?

should i pursue a pathological/medical approach (i.e. check for neurological disease/abnormallity, scans, drugs etc) or a holistic approach (continue with breathing, relaxation, and meditation)?

is it possible that i will one day be 100% ok again?

Any help greatly appreciated.

[DPDRDsucks]

Twelve years late but in case anybody finds this question while searching for DPDRD head pressure symptoms, I can attest that it's possible. For me, a slew of childhood/adolescent trauma and abuse exacerbated my anxiety issues and my coping method was escapism. DPDRD kicked in somewhere along the line and since then, I've been stuck in a perpetual acid trip due to the visual distortions.



A few symptoms in case anybody finds the comparison useful:
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-Begin day with mild DPDRD symptoms (depends on sleep, stress, and caffeine intake || Sometimes wake up with strong symptoms) which consistently increase over the course of the day

-Emotional detachment

-Memory Loss (Autopilot. Sometimes "waking up" in confusion and forgetting what you were doing)


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-Bright and vibrant colors

-Exaggerated contrast between lights and shadows

-Distortion of depth perception (can see the distance between objects, but feel like everything in sight is within reach)
(These symptoms cause reality to often look "fake" or two-dimensional)
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-Feeling ten feet deep inside your own head (like watching your life through a VR headset)

-Disconnection from your body (Any command you think of is done by you, but it feels like somebody else is controlling your body for you)

-Hue shifting (Like you're looking through a tinted camera lens)

-Pressure in head comprised of static (Feels like when you're switching between TV channels with the volume low late at night, and then you accidentally turn onto a channel of loud static)

-Vertigo (like everything is stretching down a long tunnel)

-Pain (where every sense feels like

-Disorientation (Like every sense is converted into into motion)

-Panic/Anxiety Attacks

-Irritability

-Sadistic tendencies

-Feelings of Deja Vu [Happens often (like right now), tends to occur moments before a panic attack (which lends the question, is it a symptom of a panic attack or is the panic a result of the Deja Vu?)]

[mainframe]

I googled my symptoms and I have found you.

Mine started when I was 14 y/o and now I'm 21 (7 years ago). I felt dizzy, an unusual dizziness that I never experienced before. The first thing that came to my mind is that I am having a brain tumor and I will die (At that time, I am studying biology in highschool and I have a textbook about various kinds of diseases).

After that, panic attacks came as if my head is filled with air. I thought I am passing out. That is the start of the 'nightmare.'

As a side note, after a week or two, my current teacher told an experience being dizzy. To my surprise that kind of feeling is very, very similar to mine. Our only difference is  that she takes it not seriously and therefore, no panic attacks for her. She gets fine very soon.

My body develops a feeling of unreality shortly after having panic attacks. After a year or two of having the first onset of my anxiety and DR, the symptom of having a heavy head - a pressure at the back of my head occurs. It worries me much even now.

With these panic attacks that consistently bug me for years, I managed to stop these thoroughly. My last major panic attack was when, well I hardly remember. But the anxiety remains. A good news for me is that my derealization also subsided. I remember a time when I told my self "I must blame myself for wasting precious time just to worry." That time, I am busy of school work and enjoying it. A point when many days came without worrying about my health. A feeling of being close to be normal again.

A fact for me is that I often feel dizzy especially in public places. Many times I feel uneasy and fear of fainting while walking alone, even just in our neighbors. Anxiety triggers the pressure at the back of my head but develops it to be a constant pressure. Well not just back of head, but half of my feeling is the tightness at the back of my neck.

I visited a lot of doctors - internists, psychiatrists, neurologists, a neurosurgeon. Many of them are either pissed of me or having fun of me, saying I am taking things seriously. And also, I have had a CT scan which shows normal.

I am a keen googler of symptoms, and I have visited countless sites to find my 'holy grail'. All I can say is we are not alone. There are lotsss of them out there waiting for the answer. I also have found someone who has these symptoms for 40 years. I believe that if we do have a serious condition, we should have died many years ago. And in your case, a couple of decades ago.

Oh well I have myopia before the onset of DR. Never had a migraine and never had fainted all my life.

This is an open-ended answer. Many believe that the outcome of these, being cured is dependent on us, and God of course.

Many of us insists that we have a real physiological problem. Maybe they are right, I am also thinking of it. Maybe we have a real problem in our spine, or in our head.  Maybe this is a psychiatric problem to the point that physiological reactions occur since body-mind connection is so strong. But wait, enough of these things.

You ask "is it possible that i will one day be 100% ok again?"
- All I know is that in my experience, in the midst of my 7-year experience, there is about few months span when I didn't bothered by my symptoms at all.

And well this is not an answer to your question per se, but just a comparison for you, me, and everyone else who suffers from the same chronic condition.

[selmaS]

......I do not know what u had an MRI of, but mab u should get one of ur brain....I get the same feelings u speak of.....not as frequently, but I do get them...no one suggested the DR idea.....I have been dx with chiari anad cervical spinal stinosis...they both cause some of the symptoms u mentioned...check out the chiari forum.


Good luck
Godspeed
"selma"

[ggreg]

About the only thing I can offer is I had a reaction to Stelazine, an antipsychotic drug, and it caused me to stiffen up badly in the neck and face, and had to go to the emergency room and they gave me Valium to make it stop.  I was lucky, because some people, like you, are bothered by that seizing effect for years and years.

I have also had an unrelated episode of mental breakdown where I saw people on the street as cut-out dolls, one-dimensional, if you will.  Very strange and I was miserable.  But it was mainly a mental thing, on account of I've had so much anxiety most of my life from a car accident.  Like you, I'm a dreamer, self-refective, but I think that's a sign of intelligence.  My stress most definitely came from that wreck, although I did not realize it for many, many years.  

So, I thinkg I could offer a few ideas as to what is going on with you, perhaps.  I think your headaches and migraines might be sort of a separate issue, or at least should be treated separately from your mental aloofness.  I think something about your vision may be bothering you, perhaps you need to see an opthalmologist to make sure your eyes are okay, and also see an optomitrist to see if you need glasses or need to have your glasses prescription updated.  When you can't see well, it's going to give you a headache.  There is also a chance you have sinus problems or ear problems, possibly from infections or whatever, so you should additionally see an ear-nose-throat man to have a look-see at all that stuff, which can also cause headaches.

The other thing, your mental difficulties, that can indeed be helped by the right medications and a very good psychiatrist, that is, someone who will help you feel comfortable in your own skin, as it were.  It turns out my own one-dimensional visions of the world came from being very confused and insecure.  I think your muscles may still be sort of tight, so the medications you need might include a tranquilizer perhaps, especially since it is a tranquilizer that will bring people out of one of those muscle rigidity spells.  It's also possible that an anti-epileptic would be a good idea for you.

It is also possible that your headaches may actually be connected with the stress aspect of your mental approach to your world, in that if you get totally wired, your muscles are going to stay tight, and that can give you a headache.  So, a good massage therapist might help a lot along those lines....

Well, hope some of this helps.