tips to battle severely haunting hit and run ocd

[szfr]

so this thought has been bothering me on and off for almost a year (maybe more now). i live in Islamabad, Pakistan and i was driving back home from work one day when i noticed 3-4 young kids on their way to crossing the road. i remember looking at them and thinking they must've gotten an early leave from school and they really shouldn't be out on the road like this unaccompanied by an adult or a school watchman!! there weren't too many cars on the road (i think there were just two...mine and another). i remember driving past these kids while one of them (apparently the youngest of the lot) was so excited he almost didn't see my car and stepped right in front of it. i remember one of his friends stopping and holding him back from doing so because he was aware of my car which was about to pass them.

now on and off...all i can wonder is that maybe i did hit that child and not notice! i've been through quite a few hit and run ocd message boards online but i just can't seem to shake this feeling. being in pakistan (where there is no concept of traffic cameras and such) i remember scanning the newspaper next day to check if there had been any such accident that day and there was no such report. i also did an online internet check of any reported incidents but none showed up but then my mind refuses to accept the online and newspaper check as an authentic source.

to make matters worse...i read some woman's account of hit and run ocd yesterday where she thought she hit someone on her way to the grocery store but she shrugged it off at first but then later felt like something had hit and flown past her side window. people on that forum were telling her that it was probably junk that flew by but somehow, her account got stuck in my mind and now even i've become paranoid and i'm thinking that maybe i also felt like something (like that child) had hit my car/ windscreen/ window but i for some reason blocked it out or ignored it!!!

i've been living with this thought for over a year...sometimes i forget it and other times it comes back big time. haven't been able to shake it off for 4 days now. any help/ support or guidance will be highly appreciated.

[JGF25]

There is a book you can get called The OCD Workbook:  Your Guide to Breaking Free of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.  You may find the strategies in there useful.  Take care.

[szfr]

i used to be able to shrug this thought off and deduce logically that nothing happened but i don't know why i'm not able to do the same this time! i keep telling myself that even if a small stone or pebble comes and hits a car while its in motion it makes a loud sound and i'm talking about hitting a kid here :/... i'm just totally paranoid that i either didn't notice or that i somehow blocked out the memory of this happening!

thanks for your suggestion and prompt reply...appreciate it!

[JGF25]

That is a long time to be living with an irrational thought.  Have you ever run over anything in the road...an animal, a piece of tire?  If you have, you can remember the noise and the way the car handled.  You would absolutely know if you hit someone.  Close your eyes and picture the incident.  You said another boy pull the little boy back as your car went by.  Try to get that picture in your head becuase that is what you need to fall back on.  You didn't hit anybody...close call yes, and that is stressful and perhaps that is what has triggered this thinking.  

Honestly, if it has been off and on for a year, it is time to put it past you.  Nobody came knocking on your door, no police reports, etc.  But if you cannot put it behind you, then it is time to seek professional help.  I mean if you were able to do it by yourself, you wouldn't still be in this position a year later.  So think about trying to find a psychologist that you can meet with to discuss this.  I'm sure you will be better for having done so.