I don't quite know what to do anymore....

[Rebelwoman87]

So I've had OCD sense I can remember. as a child I used to wash my poor hands till they were cracked and bleeding. I used to have to change my paper I was writing on because my hands would bust open and bleed all over the paper from being so dry... That was before I was "diagnosed" with OCD.
I've known it my whole life, I have it with Anxiety... (GAD)

I have done all the research and looked everything up....

Lately, the stress I been endureing has brought me to the point of the ocd is bad! Well not so much bad as it is annoying! When I was a child I saw my mom crap her pants from taking OCD medication and I didn't want to take the medication, trust me I'd love to not worry about crapping  my pants and getting a infection from it, I'd love to be able to walk by someone coughing and not hold my breath or wipe my hands on my jeans after touching the bathroom door or watching food prepared and jumping off that cliff with the First bite of food, or worring that its bad or contaminated. I just realize that this is how I am, and I live with it.

Well I would like to ask you all what I can do here, I get anxiety from my fears and the fact that I can't let go of the past, (The abuse I been through with my ex fiance, the sadness, the close clals) I can't let that go,  ican't even stop searching for ahorse I lost five years ago, people call me INSANE for searching and trying this hard....


Should I go on medication for it? if I go on medication will I stop worrying about the runs, stop worrying about internal problems, and worry about every day stuff that most people don't even think twice about?

I just wanna be normal, and I wanna let things go...

What do I do?

[Tangled]

Whether or not you go on medication is a personal choice you must decide. It works well for many people, and doesn't work at all for others. Some people have positive things to say about antidepressants and other people have negative things to say. I highly suggest that you seek out a Psychiatrist and sit down with him or her to discuss ALL of your symptoms and fears. There are alternatives to going on medication, but again, whether or not it works remains to be seen. What works for one person might not work for the next. OCD is a difficult illness to treat but it can be treated. Often times it's a lengthy process that takes a lot of trial and error. But don't let that stop you from getting help! There's no reason you should have to suffer like this. OCD is considered to be one of the top 10 most debilitating illnesses to live with, and I have to say I agree. I too suffer with severe OCD and I have MANY of the same fears as you do. I hold my breath when I walk past someone who has just coughed or sneezed.  In fact, If I am standing in line with groceries, or what have you, and someone coughs I will just flat out walk off and leave my cart sitting there. I use hand sanitizer religiously and I buy sanitizing wipes to wash down food containers I buy from stores! I seriously feel the pain you're going through and I know what kind of a hell it is. It's easy for people without OCD to look in at us and call us crazy because they don't have a clue what's it's like to live like this. Unless you suffer with anxiety you just can't relate. I have tried all kinds of medications and therapy and have not been that successful so far, but I have lived this way for so long that I have learned how to accept it and live life as best as I can anyway. I am currently on a new med and keeping my fingers crossed for the best. Again, typically someone with OCD can be helped and there are options available to you. Please try to make an appt with a Psychiatrist to develop a plan that works for you. For many OCD sufferers there honestly is help.

Good luck!

[Rebelwoman87]

Thank you. IT truely does suck.
I'll press on my stomach and I'll see if it hurts because I'm always scared I ahve internal issues.
I just gt so tired of it.
I don't want to go through all that hell to get the right medications.
I've been this way for well sene I was well as far back as I can remember.
My grandmother used to always wonder how I can kiss and hug animals and stay far from humans. Animals have little diseases people get. I hate bats though.
People they can giv eyou anything.
and for some reason my computer keyboard isn't working like it should
I've been on man medications.
The last one made me think clear the first ew days I took it, but it also started to make me feel ill

[PurellGirl]

There are different medication options that you can take. Discuss this with your provider if you want to make sure you will not have certain side effects.

Again, it's your decision whether or not to take the medication. Perhaps try counseling first instead?