7-year-old's bad bathroom choices

[shale32]

That's what we call it, since it's no "accident" when he has a BM or partial BM in his underwear.  It's a conscious choice.  Often it occurs when he has been playing with friends & doesn't want to stop to go to the bathroom.  We've been dealing with this issue for quite some time now.  Here's what we've already tried.  We've had him wash his own underwear.  We've made him wear disposable underwear (made for overnight for kids with immature bladders).  He's even gotten rashes from his poor bathroom choices, but he doesn't seem to care.  Short of humiliating him by talking to his friends about it, we don't know what else to try.  We've offered incentives of his choosing to go a certain number of days making good bathroom choices.  He never seems invested enough to follow through.  I'm considering bringing him to a psychologist, but it seems so extreme.  I welcome any suggestions.  Thanks.

[shale32]

Thanks.  I will check it out.  I have thought of bringing him to the dr. for this, but we have often seen the soiled underwear after he's had play time with friends.  It could be coincidence, but this seems to be a pattern.

[RockRose]

I wouldn't be so convinced these aren't accidents.

Research encopresis.  

[nyychic]

A child on my sons football team was going through the same issues and he didnt' seem to care he did the same thing even at practice once.  As you can imagine his mother was at her wits end and she already had him in counseling and they said that it's anxiety but haven't helped him as of yet.  I'm not sure if there is anything you can do but I would try counselor and see from there at least.  Good Luck

[margypops]

What else is going on in his life, it appears he is trying to get attention, has he a new sibling has he an older sibling? I dont think punishment is helpful and dont tell his friends that wont help , could make it worse if you have shamed him in front of them.What does he say if you ask him why does he have a reason,Certainly a chat with a councillor wont hurt and get an outside aspect on the problem, meanwhile try backing off a bit, dont make an issue and see if that helps.