In regard to easing your suffering over your marriage, your son is not required to take care of you and make you feel better as though he was your parent. That is asking him to reverse roles with you at a time when he is in the pain of a child over his disrupted life. When there is a disaster, the duty of the parent is always to do as much as he or she can to protect and care for the child, even when the parent is also in need.
I am sorry your marriage ended. I would have almost given my life to get my parents back together after they divorced, and it was many years before I stopped secretly wishing they would remarry. Your son is doubtless going through this. You can see the hurt, and have to do what you can to ease the hurt, and one thing that might ease it to some extent is if you were to explain to him the nature of the reasons for the divorce. Not to ask him to referee or take sides or take care of you, but because it does help a child to break away from the illusion that the parents' marriage is retrievable if he or she hears why it is not.
Is there anyone who can counsel you and your son, possibly a therapist from exactly the same cultural heritage? Can his father be of any help in this situation?
I wanted to clarify that I do agree that you have the right to ask a son to be dutiful and behave himself. My comments above were in reaction to you saying "he is not aware that I am also a sufferer and needed his support." It is fair for you to explain to him "you need to appreciate that I do not like this situation much and was not in favor of it," it is not fair of a parent to say to a child "what about me and *my* feelings?" The first is an explanation that might help him get through his own pain and start to behave a little better. The second is role-reversal of parent and child, and no child should be asked this by his parent.
You go, Anniebrooke!! Perfect.
Brokenheart, mothers give unconditional love to their children. There was an awful story from Auschwitz, a mother and 6 year old boy were in there together, and the mother continuously told her son she "wasn't hungry" and gave her food to him. It was because he was eating two meager portions of food a day, instead of one, that he was one of the few survivors. His story was one of overwhelming sadness, that he took her food willingly, but in fact she was the one who wanted to give him that gift. She gave him her life.
That's what mothers do.
They love and give unconditionally.
(There is a caveat to that - if he were coming at you with a knife, for example, you'd have to protect yourself and remove him from the home. All he is doing is not being grateful and appreciative, and fulfilling your personal needs.
Mothers don't stop giving in that situation. Mothers keep giving and giving, until he's an adult. You have no right to say since you're unpleasant I'm through with you.