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What To Do With Pacifier and Weaning Off Breastfeeding?

We stopped giving our now 20 month old son his paci at bedtime back in late Feb. He's still having a hard time with the transition, basically using my wife as a paci to put himself to sleep before bed. If he doesn't fall asleep while breastfeeding, then he stands up in the crib and cries hysterically. We have been trying the "cry it out" method, where I go into his room every 15-20 minutes until he falls asleep, but sometimes he's still crying after an hour and my wife ends up going back in to put him to sleep. Compounding our problem is that my wife is trying to wean him off breastfeeding, but given that he's using her for a paci, we don't see that happening any time soon. Additionally, he is not responding to me (the father) during bedtime at all. He just wants my wife to rock him to sleep.

My question is, would it make any sense to start giving him the paci back, just at night? We've been thinking about doing this over the past couple weeks. Basically, it would be no paci during the day, just at bedtime. We don't want to confuse him by re-introducing it now, or make it harder to get rid of it down the road, but we're not sure what other options we should consider at this point. Just curious as to what your thoughts are on this.
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162331 tn?1390018667
Water in sippy cup is best if giving it to them in bed or before bed and not brushing their teeth.  I would give my son milk to drink and brush his teeth and then rock him.  I hope your and your wife get the rest you both need.
Helpful - 0
1224321 tn?1272639522
my son is 2 and a half. and he was to sick to breast feed but takes the paci, I stopped giving it to him throughout the day about 18 months.  He only gets it for bed, unless he finds it in his crib, but when he does I take it out and say its only for bed time and he doesn't fight it at all.  But if your wanting to stop the breast feeding (well your wife) I don't see why the binki would be bad.  Only if it was for bed time.  And after he adjusts slowly try different methods of losing the binki.  I am still having trouble with the binki at night cause I want to lose it completely, but I am not stressing over it since its only for bed.  the water in the sippi cup, perfect idea, I did warm water or just about room temp so when he would drink it it would relax him instead of being cold and waking him up.  But I wish you luck
Helpful - 0
676912 tn?1332812551
It may be that you're taking away too much at one time. You did say you started taking away the paci in Feb, but the loss of the paci, and now taking away the breast feeding may be too much for him. Does he take a sippy cup? Try giving him one in bed with WATER. Anything else could cause his teeth to rot (my cousin's front four teeth are missing because his mom put him to bed with milk every night, it's called crib rot). Or try giving him a new special stuffed animal or blanket he can take with him to bed, paci and breast feeding are comfort things, and he may need something new to comfort him when he goes to sleep. I have a Winnie the Pooh bear I give my son, and he still gets a sippy with water at 21 months, eventually we'll stop giving it to him, but I don't see the harm in it right now since it only has water.
Helpful - 0
148691 tn?1260194903
...I'm so sorry... I meant to say 'HIM' the entire time.... =S
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148691 tn?1260194903
I have a 23 month old that was weaned off the paci (and the bottle!) since 18 months old. I couldn't breastfeed her past the 4th month unfortunately, I would have loved to!!!! but anyway, I still rock her to beddy, I still lie down with her on the floor when she asks me to, and very recently she became very attached to her daddy. Sometimes BOTH of us lie down with her and cuddle her,  she grabs both our hands and tells us she wants to go sleepy.
I am from another country, where we don't make our kids so independant from the parents at such a young age. To me this is completely normal. I know she will grow out of this sooner rather than later, so I much rather enjoy my precious time with her every night (and every day!!) than worrying about how am I gonna wean her off something (obviously except breast milk, specially when another baby is in the way).

I work around her timing, always did. I look for clues that tells me she's 'ready' for something, and if she's not.. then we try again later... and so on.

I'd say don't worry about it. Wean her off ONE THING AT A TIME!, if you wean her off breast milk, then give her her paci back. Viceversa.

And most of all: be patient with her... they are still babies, we need to keep that in mind. They still need to be conforted from the anxiety this weird (still new) world gives them from time to time. It's beautiful they still need us... enjoy it. We are LUCKY to be parents... many people cannot share the same joy. =)
Helpful - 0
162331 tn?1390018667
We kind of went through the samething.  Except my son never took a  pacifier...I was his chosen pacifier.  At 2 we finally got him weaned because I was pregnant.  He still wanted to nurse at night before going to bed.  First I started weaning out different nursing times throughout the day and left the bedtime one for last.  That way I was never in pain from being ingorged with milk.  Then at night I just started to tell him that Mommy's milk was all gone but I could rock him.  He didn't like it and cried and would try to pull my shirt up.  I would just firmly tell him again that my milk was all gone. I would give him whole milk in his sippy cup.  I would rock him and finally get him to sleep and put him to bed.  I have always been one of those Mothers who cuddle and rock a lot.  So...he is now 2 1/2 and it seems so long ago that we did the weaning. Now...I still have problems at night as far as him  needing me and wanting me to put him to sleep.  I am not a fan of the cry it out  method.  They are young and before you know it they grow up and grow out of all this stuff.  We just push it when we are ready not them.  But now with a new baby approaching soon I am worried how he will adjust in having to share me and wait.  I bet he will start to want Daddy, who will not do at all right now.  I would recommend not re-introducing the pacifier.  That can cause damage to teeth and such.  Just start to explain that Mommys milk is all gone and just love on him and hug him and go ahead and rock him for comfort.  You don't want to take everything away from him all at once.  I guess I am a softy.  Good luck.  P.S.  Yeah!!!, and a big pat on the back to your wife for breastfeeding for so long.  That tells me that you are willing to be incovienced a little to do what is best for your child.
Helpful - 0

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