My son of 9 is having sexual thoughts about me and his sister

[jolie201]

Hi
My son who is 9 nearly 10 came to me about 2 months ago about sex saying that he had seen some sexual images and his friends were all talking about it. We have always been very active in censoring internet and phones but he said he saw things on his friend’s computer and his friend’s phone.
He found it all very distressing and every night talked to me about different things and asking what they were, I reassured him about it all and answered any questions as best I could. I did the whole bees and birds chat and got a book and read it with him to explain it all.
I thought all was ok but he said he has been having thoughts about me and about his sister who is 4 and he has had thoughts of doing things with his sister. He assured me he never did anything but thinks about it allot and wanted to act on it to "get it over with" his words. I explained that thoughts about sex and family members especially anyone younger such as his sister is very wrong and he cannot ever act on these thoughts as he would be in allot of trouble, that doing this is a violation of her . His father also discussed it with him about boundaries and he can never cross these with younger children especially and not till he is older with anyone else.
I told him that he must try very hard to get these thoughts out of his head and replace them with children his own age or pop stars or something. I also suggest he has his own private time and explained what that meant as tame as possible. I am not allowing him to be alone with his sister or anyone else younger just in case. I did see my doctor about this and she said we can get him referred but my son does not want to see anyone .However he is still having thoughts and I really don’t know what to do and is this normal . Please any advice would be very grateful please.

[Lostmom42757]

Did u ever find any help my son is going thru this exact thing now

[chibimomma]

I just read your post about your 9 year old son and his sexual thoughts. My six year old is going through the same thing right now. He just came out with this all of a sudden a few days after my husband left for a month (military). He told me he was having these vivid sexual thoughts about a little girl that he went to school with, then he would have them about anyone he was thinking about boy or girl. I was completly shocked and felt sick to my stomache. My husband and I don't watch anything inaproret when our kids are around all they watch is Nick jr. He told me that some of his friends were talking about girlfriends and kissing and things like that not nothing in depth. I tryed to tell him that it is natural to want to kiss someone that he likes but he's to young to be acting on it. And as for the sexual stuff I told him these where things that Mommies and Daddies do when get married and love eachother very much. But these thoughts continue to haunt him and he crys about it because they won't get out of his head he says. He also has been obbsessing over bad words that he is thinking in his head and has to tell me everything little bad thing he is thinking. He will go off on the tangets where he just keeps telling me the same things over and over again, I call it word vomit because it doesn't stop.. then he askes me if i heard him, he counts how manytimes he thinks these thoughts and says these things. He had already been scheduled to see a neroulogist becuase he has been having these weird tics, and was diagnosed with a mild tic diorder. I told him about the bad word thoughts and he said that it is due to the tic disorder but now the sexual thoughts are coming out again. I don't know what to do. I don't allow him to play alone with his sister or other children, and when he has a bad dream and wants to come lay in my room i don't allow him to becuase i'm afraid of the thoughts that are going to go through his head...I'm at a loss and I don't know what to do. Please help

[jolie201]

Thank you for your advice i am now in the process of getting him to a therapist and hopefull it will help.I wait in hope ....

[AnnieBrooke]

I think you talking to a child's therapist would be a good idea, just to be sure you are handling it right.  It's not unusual for a kid coming into puberty to have sexual thoughts, but to me it is unusual that he would have incestuous ones.  Usually the rough-and-tumble of growing up with someone breeds an indifference to them as a sexual being.  I am concerned that he is focusing on family members as an outlet.  I'd ask a therapist (not just a doctor) about this particular thing, and maybe for some ways to address it.

[margypops]

Sounds like you need to drop the conversation as it is feeding on itself, and stop him being around any other young children who are allowed to see Porn,in fact speak to their parents ......