8 yrd old step daughter suffocates my 2yr old with attention

[frustrated2010]

I have an 8 year old step daughter who loves attention.  She will create drama with any situation.  She was having a very hard time with the arrival of a new baby in the beginning but still treated her baby sister nicely.  She instead took out most of her anger on her dad.  She wants him to carry her like he carries the baby, wants him to play the same games he plays with the baby, she just wants the attention for helself now where as in the past she didnt really want him to spend time with him.  My husband has joint custody of her so he has every EVERY weekend and any other day her mom feels like going out dancing during the week.  So she does not see the baby (now 22 months) every day, only every weekend.  When she is here, she barely gives my baby a chance to breathe.  She is constantly on top of her giving her attention and almost taking over the parent role,  To the point, where my baby daughter starts paying more attention to her than to me or my husband.  She has even started calling her mommy!
My husband says there is nothing wrong with it.  That he just sees a big sister playing with a baby sister. I told him he needs to find something for his 8 year old to do other than be home all weekend pretending to by mommy to my daughter.  Not to mention that what she is teaching her is not appropriate.  Thoughts??
Help!!!  

[coolas]

Awww..  She's 8 years old, she probably really enjoys having a little sister - I know that my daughter who is also 8 would love it!  I wonder why you feel threatened by her behavior?  She is just loving her little sister and being a little mummy to her - that's great!  

Just remember your daughter can only benefit from all the love she gets -- and having a big sister - this is something she will love more and more, so even though you are feeling a little left out, try and nurture this relationship - it's so great when children have good relationships with their siblings, so try and take the long view.

A-

[margypops]

I agree with your husband , she does not see the baby every day so it is natural and  nice she wants to play with her, perhaps you are the one feeling left out, how about you join in pay your step daughter more attention, some games and gal talk, letDad have the Baby and you take her out  ,its a normal reaction but its coming from you not her , try going out as a family and accept her more forget this word 'step' accept her as a daughter , ..good luck