my child talks TOO MUCH

[tripplebright]

I don't think my 6 yr old Daughter, has ADHD, but I think she just may be Hyper, She has been talking excessivly from the age of 2 till now, but now it's worse!!  In the morning, she Pops up, and starts talking about random things, for example I woke her up this morning and said "Wake up it's time for school"- she popped opened her eyes and said "Mommy did you graduate college?", It begins and ends this way everyday and though I find some things cute and humorous, It stops being cute after about 10 mins of non-stop chatter, and since I know it's going to be like this every day I just get frustrated with it quickly. Most people would just think it's cute, and when she was 2,  it was, people stopped me everywhere because of my "precocious", little girl, who was so well spoken. The thing is she sleeps heavily and well, (and talks in her sleep on occasion), she plays well, by herself for hours at times, and still talks the whole time, which leads me to beleive she may not be ADD. Everyone has always told me she's so smart but she is falling behind in school, she always needs to sit away from other children, she is distracted by, and distracts others, she is Bossy with other children, Which worries me that kids wont want to be her friend, Iv'e already overheard a child say "Oh no She's here".  But the biggest problem Now Is when we run into people, maby someone with a dog, she Talks So Furiously that you can't hear anything else, and she says things like " you wanna come over to our house"  to strangers, and it puts me in awkward situatons all the time, to where I don't want to take her anywhere, cause I don't want to have to talk to all those people, and I couldn't get a word in if I wanted to.    At Home when my husband and I try to talk, she talks over us so badly that we just lose it somtimes and scream "Shut Up"(I hate that, I don't want to get that frustated, and teach her, that it's ok to just lose it and act that way)  when we watch a movie, we usually have to stop it several times, to try, futilely to quiet her, we've learned to use the sub-titles now. she's obnoxiously social, people don't think it's cute anymore and because she's so invasive they just get annoyed with her, :(  
I am so FRUSTRATED with this situation, I LOVE my girl and I know she is sooo special, but if I can't get her to do nothing more than just, * slow down her talking*,   I may go Insane!!  

---I know to some people think this may sound harsh on my part, but keep in mind everyone deals with things differently, and put in the same situation others would most likley feel the same, Her Teachers do!
so please don't post about how Horrible I sound, I already know!!!!

[ExecutiveControl]

"I don't think my 6 yr old Daughter, has ADHD, but I think she just may be Hyper"

Guess what the "H" stands for in ADHD.  You've already got part of her diagnosis.  Constant talking, movement, whatever is a sign of hyperactivity and the inability to control impulses.  This is why it's so hard for you to have talks with her, set up games, etc. to get her to stop.  She has to have the control from within (not externally) to stop talking, and that part of the brain (the frontal lobe) is not working.

It doesn't matter if other parents sympathize with you or tell you how bright or how creative your child is.  ADHD will persist and make your life and the life of your child hell with constant conflict and irritation.  If you do nothing about ADHD, it will persist into adulthood and continue to plague her and wreak havoc with her education and her career options.

There are only two ways to deal with this: Meds and behavior modification. Meds are the most effective.  The difference is like night and day.  It will calm her down and allow her to focus in school and listen to what you are saying to her.  Behavior modification means establishing levels of control so that she has to work to maintain privileges.

Good luck to you in this struggle.

[specialmom]

I like my kids being talkative.  Enjoy it.  They'll become teenagers who ignore you soon enough!

[marissascott]

I think its a major problem with all the parents now a days. Children are becming more and more talkative and they behaves like agressive kids. Its really frustrating.

[Brie99]

Actually ranger-girl, I thought the same thing as Rockrose. And
I didn't feel it was  hostile. She was just making a point.

[Brie99]

I have resorted to putting notes on my door that say "silent time no speaking allowed." I usually make it last 30 mins. If she accomplishes it, she gets a sticker, if not an X. Actually the X was her idea, then she decided she didn't like the X but it was too late to change the rules. Besides I thought the x was a good idea. :)

Respectively, I don't see it as necessarily a sign of intelligence. I see it as a person in wrong human relations. A person who wants to dominate all the attention  and not leave a morsel for anyone else. I'm sorry no one gets to be that important and if she doesn't learn it from me, the world will brutally teach her.

I also have a timer and she I not allowed to speak until it goes off.

Our dog hides from her because she wants to dominate his attention. I use him as an example. I tell her this has nothing to do about Love, but about self- survival. It's hard to survive having a good relationship with her. I love her, the dog loves her but we don't like the way she communicates how she loves us.

[edumom]

These posts are hysterical to me... mostly because I deal with the same issue with my 5 year old daughter.  As I read them, I experienced a range of emotions from laughing to crying.  It's nice to know I'm not alone.

I was also diagnosed with ADHD as an adult.  I found strategies to compensate my whole life as well.  However, at that time, there was no alternative and therefore, all of us with attention issues were forced to find alternative ways to deal.  Now, we are fortunate enough to know more about ADD and ADHD. We need to take what we know and help our children find those alternative ways to deal. Letting them figure it out for themselves is often times where avoidance and "bad" behavior comes from. I applaud those who mentioned social skills training and other methods they are trying.  Don't get discouraged! Keep on trying different methods- the time you're putting in will pay off.  

Putting kids on meds is not the best solution for most.  Medications that treat ADD and ADHD have many side effects, some that are not detected until years later.  The levels of toxicity that you can create in your child's body is far worse that the issues we are discussing.

As far as teachers and administrators go, I am a VP in a 5-21 school and I don't think people look at children differently if they have ADD/ ADHD or are on meds... unfortunately it's common place now.  I think the push back that you're reading in earlier posts regarding meds comes from what we know about the dangers in taking any medication for long periods of time.  As a society we better understanding of holistic remedies.  

I encourage all parents to be careful with the words you use with your children .... try to replace "shut up" with another phrase if you can.... even if it's something silly like "rotten tomatoes!" Hey, at least you will get their attention! Regardless - your posts indicate you're proactive parents who care and you are to be commended for that!  Continue to research ways to address the social skills they lack. Jed Baker has a lot of wonderful information on his website. He has also published several books on the subject. Look up the benefits of fish oil and other herbs.

Thank you all for posting...