Anger Management and Tantrums

[challengedmum7]

I am at wits end with my 8 year old son who has anger issues and after a period of seeming better now seems worse.
He has clothes issues and will only wear certain clothes .... getting him to shower/wash his hair is also another issue I am waiting for my family doctor to send him for testing but yet it takes so long to get an appointment. What can I do in the interim,  any discplinary action names me as a 'Mean Mum' it seems to be his way or no way, now winter is setting in I have coat and boot issues to contend with and finding it more and more trying. Taking him to choose his own clothes I thought would be a solution yet still seems to prove not a solution! I was hoping he would grow out of it by now?? But now worried there is a chemical in balance hense my going to the family doctor who seems in no rush to have him tested, we are awaiting an appointment for a Pediatric psychiatrist how long should I wait before seeking another opinion, emotionally it is draining and what energy I have ( I have lots ) I find it is disrupting the whole family. His eating is poor and probably part of his condition and adding to home challenges, at school he is doing fine so ADHD does not seem to be issue ( well that I know of ) anyone with any advise would be greatly appreciated, what to do next?
Worried Mum

[challengedmum7]

I have tried pretty much everything, he chooses his own clothes as it is always has from an early age he is very independant but only wears same two pairs pants it is funny I bought a second pair same type different colour as he was wearing almost same items daily .... anyway he is very strong willed, personality and eating is a problem, we have taken the don't get things before doing something he then threatens back and says he will do it IF he gets what he wants ( just becomes battle time ) I have caved on some occasions for my own sanity but I am the displinarian in every way, my older son complete opposite ...calm let me choose his clothes till he was about 11 ....
but you can't compare i know, I am finding it Soul destroying in so many ways, I have asked doctor to test for certain things and awaiting to have him assessed as this has been going on too long
I do focus on his positive he is involved in extra outside sports if it weren't for those think it would be even worse not sure? He seems very smart and as far as schooling no problems ( well not yet ) so hope that stays the same marks are good so guess I should be thankful. Thanks for your input

[margypops]

Letting him wear the clothes he likes would be a good idea, and having him take his shower before he has any TV or PC or Games or anything important to him that he enjoys,make him aware he doesnt get to do those things until he has taken his shower.Ignore the "mean Mum" attitude we have all had that ,they dont mean it.My kids hated to put their coats on I had a battle all the time I thought they would get hyperthermia, but they dont so maybe let that go a bit ,if he has a jacket he probably will be warm enough, we do worry about them.same with eating be less concerned and say less .Focus on his positive side and priase him when he does something good,