46 and wanting 4th baby

[Freddybeach]

My dh and I have 3 kids who are 15, 14 & 9(almost 10)....son and 2 daughters.  I am 46 & dh is 43.  Dh had vas..8 years ago and I've really wanted to have him get it reversed since I turned 40....we had several appt.'s to do it...but eventually cancelled each one ,, usually because of finances.  Every year that passes I still long for another baby.  I just wonder about the big age gap between my kids if we do bring another baby into our lives.  Any thoughts?  My husband really doesn't want me to be pregnant again..... He's afraid that it is too risky health-wise.  We are thinking of adoption... But I keep praying for some sort of miraculous intervention....dh never had his sperm count done... So I'm always wondering....maybe it is still possible?????
I'm happy to have found this forum.....
LB

[Mumof3lovelyboys]

Should say - my kids are 14, 12 and 5 and I hope they'll all be as helpful this time around, if it works out, as the older two were last time around.  My youngest is quite possessive of me though, so I'm not sure how he'll react!

[Mumof3lovelyboys]

I'm  47 and had an early miscarriage 3 months ago.  I haven't prevented pregnancy since my son was born  five years ago but for the first 18 months I was breastfeeding and I don't normally have periods at that time and after that I think my weight was preventing me from falling pregnant.  I went on a diet in August and lost 20 pounds and then fell pregnant. 3 months later I'm now pregnant again.  I've been reading up and there is apparently quite a high chance I'll miscarry again but I'm just taking it day by day.  Apparently it was supposedly a 1 in 10000 chance that I could conceive naturally at age 47 - and I've now done it twice in four months, so it isn't necessarily true that you can't conceive without medical intervention.  Women used to do it regularly before birth control was invented!

[plumber43]

Hi it's nice to meet you. I am 45 I have a 23 and 16 yo dd's and 21 yo ds. I am married for 8 years to my soul mate. At 2 months shy of my 44th birthday my dh informed me he was ready for a baby....I have wanted one since we fell in love 10 years ago and i was 35. Anyway we did 1 ivf 1 fet, tubal reversal, 4 iui's a mini ivf, 2 fets. and turned 45 during all this. I really wanted a baby, we looked into donor embryos. There are some of us who know about that. We chose donor eggs, I never thought we could ever afford it but we found an RE in NYC New Hope Fertility Center that offers frozen donor eggs you get 6 eggs for 10,000.00 plus 1200.00 for the frozen transfer. There was no waiting and now I'm pregnant. I know the dna won't be mine but it will be my DH's. If your up for adopting and not having his vasectomy reversal then I think Donor embryos is the way to go so you can give birth to your baby.
Good Luck and SSBD
Melanie  

[Clysta]

Without medical intervention such as previous said, the odds are not high. Not only that, but based on your age that alone will be a large hurdle. You could have the reversal done only to not fall pregnant anyways because of that. Your best option would be to skip having a reversal done and talking to a doctor about IVF. At this point, that will likely be your best choice. However IVF is also much more expensive than a reversal (a reversal is anywhere from $1,500 to $2,000 while IVF can be a minimum of $10,000 up to $30,000) so you need to see if you can afford that.

[naturschld]

Speaking for myself, I don't think there was anything in your question that was remotely insulting.  And just because you have children already doesn't mean you can't yearn for another.  It's your feeling and you have every right to it.  I wish you the best whatever you choose to do.

[Freddybeach]

I know you are right....and I didn 't mean to insult anyone on this board.  We will probably consider adoption... But I still yearn for a biological child....
Lb

[Azwoman]

I will be honest here,, without the help of a reproductive endocrinologist you are unlikely to become pregnant-and vasectomy reversals are not always successful. If you do not have fertility coverage or any insurance that will pay for the reversal, you are looking at $$, along with IVF with donor eggs. You are likely going to need donor eggs and that is very costly. I personally think you should be happy with the 3 children you have as alot of us are trying to conceive #1. I would truly look at adoption or foster care as you may find that even more fulfilling. Good luck with whatever decision you make.