Husband lazy...not helping

Question

Im 32 weeks pregnant. Its 1:18am and i cant sleep. I finished painting the baby's room. Waited for my husband to complete the project for weeks but i couldnt wait any longer so i did it myself. I tried building the baby's dresser, i can't find the tools i need. I have to go pick up the crib tomorrow. Im so exhausted and achy. My husband doesnt get that i need his help while he's home. Hes been working out of town, home only on the weekends. I take care of the house and our 3 dogs. I have trouble sleeping. I work full time. Recently i stopped traveling to get to work. It took 2 hrs to get to work one way. I transferred to a nearby office which is 15mins from home. Its helped a lot but i cant get a full nights rest. When my husband is home i cater to his needs. Cook, clean while he sits around. Im so tired of it. Im stuck at home constantly. I cant get him to take me out. I have no one. Hes the only person i know. I feel so alone. I feel like he doesnt care about me. I cried about how lonely i am and how i need his help when hes here for 2 weekends now. He does nothing. Tells me im over reacting. I told the dogs stress me out...can you help feed them when your here? He said Get rid of them, problem solved.  I got so upset and started crying...told him i ask for help with the baby will he say the same thing? Just get rid of him? The dogs arent the problem. Its him being lazy. I told dont bother working near by in December when im closer to my due date.  Don't want to end up having to clean up and cook for him. I think i will stay with my parents 2 weeks before im due. They live closer to the hospital and i cant rely on my husband anymore. Sorry for the long message. Had to vent.

tiaboo · Answer

Me too im 36 +4 nd my kids fova aint no help we have 4kids together nd i do everything but he do take them to school in the morning smh im tired of doin this alone by the way im 25 nd he is 27

Kimejo_81 · Answer

Best of luck

kaligirl1 · Answer

We got in an argument. He hurt me so bad. I thought things would be different because im pregnant. He will never change. I changed who i am for him. Changed my career. We have a house because of me. He has a new truck because of me. All i wanted was a little help and effort around the house. He called me selfish and crazy. Told me i need my head checked. He also made a racist comment. His baby will be mixed with asian, mexican and white. Telling me hes not going to learn some jap language. I got so upset i shoved him. I cant take it anymore. I cried all night. I have to take care of things on my own now. And get out of this situation. Im not happy. I refuse to have him touch my son when he comes. We dont need him in our life. Thank you everyone who commented on my earlier post. It helped me think about whats best.

joat35 · Answer

I know how you feel. trying to get my partner to do anything is like pulling teeth. After my second child was born as soon as I came home from hospital I had to look after a toddler and a baby and my partner with no help. nothing has changed!!! am now pregnant with third and am so tired all the time from doing everything myself. I get very frustrated when he comes home from work and all he does is lay on couch and fall asleep and leaves me with everything to do. you have to be a strong person (luckily I am) and accept they are not going to change or you need to get out of the situation. my beautiful children keep me going. Everything I do is for them. Don't get me wrong I am no doormat I just get on and do what I need to do, plus I don't wait on him hand and foot. my children are my number one priority

Squa8794 · Answer

You are no different in the advise I gave kaligirl1, I say these things to you both in all sincerity because I have watched my sister sacrifice for so long and he has never changed.  :-) Good luck.

Squa8794 · Answer

I don't know how long you've been with him, but my sis husband never changed its been 12with yrs. They should have a 12 yr old boy but he never helped with the dogs and she had to work & daily feed him and same as yours always tells her she is over reacting. She lost her 3 boys :-( . She now has 2 beautiful girls 7 & 5 and he is still the same machista man. He just don't care never will its all about him & his mother taught him that and they will never change. My advise to you after watching my sister suffer for more than 12 years go to your family and find a way to be on your own with your baby. It's not going to get better when the baby is born, he is showing you know who he really is,  he doesn't like that you are not going to have time for him anymore. Don't sacrifice your happiness because your baby will know and it will affect who he becomes. My nieces feel unloved & watch their mother be treated like nobody special. Remember children do what you do not what you say. Good Luck to You & Please take care of youself :-)I

makebaby · Answer

Baves your situation is similar although not pregnant you still have a 2 year old to run after. MIn laws will always defend their sons! Sorry for the miscarriages but another baby will put more pressure on your current situation. Hopefully things will improve.

makebaby · Answer

Sorry to hear yes some men are selfish & inconsiderate. You need to look after yourself & baby in case you go into labour but I know how you feel If I have to constantly keep asking I just do it myself! But by the sounds of it your going to have to get use to it as he works away & doesn't seem to care for his actions. With my first child I painted the nursery but sometimes certain paint smells can be toxic to inhale whilst pregnant! You should consider going on mat leave & let parents look after 2 of the dogs until after you have the baby. If they cant well you may unfortunately have to get rid & keep one. Well if hes gona b like that he can cook, clean etc 4 himself for you & baby's wellbeing he needs to start helping from now or you might as well not be married it goes both ways. Good luck

Baves · Answer

Hi I am so sorry for what your goin thru.it sounds like your husband is very spoilt and should try not to think of himself only but to think of you and baby.dont overdo yourself to much and try to get sometime for yoursel.if his hungry he knows where the fridge is.i to have the same problem I have a two year old son and live with my in laws my hubby does not lift one finger to help me with our son.he feels that because he works he needs rest.his mum is always on his side no matter what so I get to look after my son for 24grs a day have showers at night as soon as I put my son to sleep.
Clean make him food and everything else.i don't have time to myself at all.ive also miscarried twice in a matter of 5 months so I can understand why u need to vent.but please look after yourself and baby.goid luck hope things work out for you.

Baves · Answer

Hi I am so sorry for what your goin thru.it sounds like your husband is very spoilt and should try not to think of himself only but to think of you and baby.dont overdo yourself to much and try to get sometime for yoursel.if his hungry he knows where the fridge is.i to have the same problem I have a two year old son and live with my in laws my hubby does not lift one finger to help me with our son.he feels that because he works he needs rest.his mum is always on his side no matter what so I get to look after my son for 24grs a day have showers at night as soon as I put my son to sleep.
Clean make him food and everything else.i don't have time to myself at all.ive also miscarried twice in a matter of 5 months so I can understand why u need to vent.but please look after yourself and baby.goid luck hope things work out for you.