Need cheering up

[Hopefulcb]

How do you stay positive when it seems like everyone around you is getting pregnant so easily (within a few months of getting married or as soon as they TTC)?  I'm happy for them of course but can't help but feel sad that it's not happening for us after almost 1 year of trying!

[Hopefulcb]

Thanks Pum.  I'm tryingnot to worry about it until I see the gynecologist in April.  Must not be too serious or they would probably see me sooner. The PAP test showed LSDL which is not cancer thankfully and many times reverts to normal by itself or just needs a minor intervention.  I'm hoping for the best that the culposcopy will show nothing!  

Apple, try to stay positive! It will happen for us. I really believe that it hadn't happened yet for us because it wasn't meant to yet (perhaps the baby wouldn't be healthy or just bad timing). When the time is right and it is meant to be, we will get that BFP!!! we will be the ones encouraging everyone else!!

[apple5]

i know how you feel.....all too well lately. the thought of never having a child keeps me awake at night. i have gotten to the point that i am deleting people on my myspace who are pg cause i cant read about all their happiness. on top of that, i am a nurse and it kills me at the countless 18 y/o who are pg or the women who smell like marijuana with their 7 mo bellys in tow. its horrible because i'm not that kind of person. i try to find the silver lining or keep hoping but it has become very very hard. i wish i could give you more words of encouragement but i find myself just trying to hang on. i'm 38 and on my 1st round of injectables. i will keep you in my prayers.

[Pum]

Sorry to hear this. Abnormal smear results can come from lots of reasons like infection but it is good you are getting a further check. Sorry it has come at a time when you are wanting to conceive though.

Take care.

[Hopefulcb]

Well no BFP this time and AF came late last week).  So back to the beginning of the cycle.

I'm a bit worried.  Got a call from my DR and had an abnormal PAP test.  He wants me to go for a culposcopy soon instead of the usual wait to repeat in 6 months because we are trying to conceive.

Has anyone had that before? Can abnormal results come from trauma to the cervix? (I had a sono the week prior to my PAP and the DR couldn't get it and kept trying and consequently I had bleeding for 3 days afterwards.

Any thoughts?

Thanks

[Hopefulcb]

Thanks for all your support! I'm currently at my TWW .  I'm having a positive attitude that this could be the month!!!  Anyone else at that LONG waiting period?

[Pum]

It is hard. The people who know you well will also be wondering how they can share their happiness without making you feel bad. I believe holding newborn babies can help you get pregnant (just my own personal theory) so look forward to your friends and family handing you their little ones.
There are lots of wonderful infertility bloggers I found on line. Funny, smart, and well versed in the emotions that come with trying to be a mother. Unfortunately/fortunately they all have children now but if you think you can cope reading their tales with happy endings my favourites are "alittlepregnant" "herebehippogriffs" "soclose" (don't always relate 100% to Tertia but she is certainly full of energy and is a big personality).
Take care of yourself and your relationship and good luck.

[Jeanie20]

The first time I got pregnant like 11 yrs ago I got pregnant so easily like in a couple of months or so but this time 11 yrs later it took my hubby and I about 6 months to conceive and it was very frustrating for us.  I didn't want to give up though.  We didn't give up and we finally did get pregnant with twins for the 2nd time.  I know it's very difficult and we were both thinking to ourselves we did this once before and I got pregnant with twins so why can't it happen so easily the 2nd time around.  We were thinking that we were to old and that there was something wrong then bingo it happened.  You can't give up and you have to think positive.  It's really hard to do this but try not to think about it all of the time and make the experience a fun one with your partner.  Try not to focus on it so hard then u will see it will happen.  I hope this helps you & remember don't give up hope it will happen.  Take care and keep us all posted.  

[worried2451]

Hi Hopefulcb,
I know exactly how you feel, but some of the stories on this site have given me a new sense of hope! Don't despair and don't give up...I haven't!!!
All My Best Christine

[adgal]

I too had such a hard time staying positive and moving forward. I wish I knew why some conceived and carried so easily, while so many of us had to struggle so much.  I too met so many women here who had had a hard road, but achieved their dream, and for me, that really helped keep me going forward.  It was the only option...giving up never really was.  And it finally happened.  It can and will happen for you too.  There are so many wonderful things they can do now medically to help those of us that have a hard time....that combined with hope and belief can help us achieve our dream.  I can hear the hurt in your words, and I know it all too well.  A year can seem like a lifetime sometimes can't it.  But really, in the big scheme of things it's not so long.  Keep working with Dr's you like and trust and try to keep believing.  I can tell you that in the end, its all worth it.  

[Ecologic]

Yes it had been really hard for me to stay positive as well! I suffered from 2 years of unexplained infertility then 2 years with 3 miscarriages. Keep going because you never know when it's going to happen! But try to relax: I got pregnant this last time on a fun trip to Yellowstone with my husband before I was to start a new job, getting pregnant was the last thing on my mind but it happened - maybe because I was so relax?

[Hopefulcb]

Thanks everyone for the positive vibes!  I'm generally a positive person, but I think it was just starting to get to me!  I'm overwhelmed with everyone's support!  I had my last fertility test today (I think) and there is nothing wrong with either of us so I will just assume that it's just a matter of time!

Thanks for all the wonderful stories.   They are all so encouraging!! I WILL be there soon!

[kristine625]

I would soak up the energy from them that it can happen.  For me, it never bothered me to hear about how other people are pregnant.  I know it has absolutely nothing to do me or my ability to have or not have a child.

I can understand where you are coming from with your feelings.  But courtcoop is right.  If you believe and engross yourself in positive energy, then I believe it will happen.  If you are given no concrete medical or substantial reason why you cannot have a baby, then you can.

I look at it this way-  no one under the sun has ever shown or told me any reason why I cannot have a child.  No one.  Therefore, I have absolutely no reason to believe I can't.  That's what I focus on.  For every "negative" thought I have, I counter it with two positives.

Hope that doesn't sound to cheesy.  Again, I'm not trying to minimize your feelings.  But if you engross yourself in negative energy, you will find it affects you negatively.  Things start going downward.  Your appetite, attitude, sleep pattern, even potential illness (getting a cold).  If you engross yourself in positive energy, you will uplift yourself and bring yourself to that next level where you need to be and where you belong.

This forum is a great place to put it all back in perspective and get back on that positive energy level.  Perhaps your DH is a good person to turn to.  Or maybe it is a friend or relative.  Even journaling.  Writing it out and getting it out can really help.

Good luck.  Sending you positive energy.  PMA (positive mental attitude)!!!

[sue68]

Hi,

You swallow in the panic that everyone is way ahead of you. Then you keep the hope - no matter how small - that your turn will come.   (you too momof8215).  You'll see on this forum that there are many of us who've had one or more m/c's and have given birth or are pregnant now.  Adgal/Amanda just had a baby boy after 5 m/c's.
She once told me the drive to be a mom kept her going.  I always remembered that - had to force myself sometimes esp. when I learned about my 2nd m/c. It was so hard with friends and family or "friend of a friend" getting pregnant around me.
I am 41 and have been with my dh since 1988 (married almost 14 of those years).  Lots of years passed and I had almost given up hope but didn't speak the words out loud.  But, got pregnant 2008 for the first time when I was 40 - though sadly it didn't stick nor did the 2nd one 6 months later.   I'm now 15 weeks and 6 days pregnant with a boy.  So you see , it can happen for you too.
After discovering the MedHelp forum and reading everyone's stories -and their support and encouragement - really kept my hope alive. Know that my story and many others on this forum can happen to you.  Just don't give up hope - its really hard but, keep positive like everyone tells you.  Believe that you WILL have a happy ending story to share with those needing cheering up in the future.

Good luck and SSBD to you all.  

[momof8215]

I know how you feel. I've been ttc for a year too and just gave up. My girlfriend, who is 9 years younger than me, who wasn't even trying, just found out she is pregnant. We were pregnant together for our 13 yr olds, who are 11days apart. I almost believed that I would be pregnant now too, so that we coud share pregnancies again, how foolish is that??? I haven't tested, and won't just because I'm tired of BFN's. Hang in there girl, it could still happen. I don't believe that for me anymore, but I believe that for you!!

[Victoria01]

I know it's hard, especially when everyone around you seems to be pregnant and having babies. It's all you can think about.  It took DH and I five years to conceive our first. We had all the tests and neither of us had any problems. It was 'undiagnosed infertility'. I know it's seems like it will never happen, but it will. You just have to try and stay positive, even when it seems impossible, and it will happen for you.

[Courtcoop]

Super is right.
Smile and keep trying. Take their positive vibes and put it upon yourself.
It will happen for you...keep positive!
I am a firm believer that if you think it and belive it, it WILL happen.

[Super_sally888]

Hi,

you just smile and keep trying, I guess.

Not easy.  Are you seeing a Reproductive Endocrinologist yet?  If you have been trying for nearly a year, it is time to get help.

Do you know if you're ovulating?  What have you done so far?  Give some more info and maybe gthe ladies here can share.

Best wishes