AM I TO OLD TO HAVE BABY NO 4

[amberkhan]

Hi my name is Amber i had 3 caesarean births,all girls and after my last pregnancy i had a tubal liagation, problem  is now  my new husband wants a baby,Im scared as iam 45  ,turning 46 in dec, so by the time i fall pregnant i will probabally be 47/48  . All so before i can even consider it i need micro-surgury to reverse it.  I told him i didnt want anymore children ,but he said he wanted 1 with me , im scared as i feel im to old, also i have high blood preasure,diabetes2, and cholestrol ,  Also his x had a baby and she was born with spina bifita, what do i do can anyone help me to reason with him,about my health and my future ,,,thanks amber.

[gauchito]

Hi Amber, first off at the age of 45 it becomes exceedingly difficult to conceive and carry a baby to term.  Most conceptions at this age end in very early miscarriages as your progesterone levels have decreased considerably at this point in your life.  Secondly a reversal tubal will not guarantee the ability to conceive again and thirdly your health is of great concern.  It doesn't sound like your health is at it's optimum and would be very unwise to want to conceive with poor health being a factor.  Your husband needs to be more suppportive of you and consider your health. It sounds more likely than not that given these factors in your life you would not be able to conceive another child. Hopefully your husband can come to terms with this and be thankfull that he has such a loving and caring wife.

[LisaRG]

Never mind what your husband wants  Do YOU really want to try for another baby.  At 45 its a hard route to travel and very slim chance of getting pregnant, but not impossible.
If you really want to try I suggest you take control of some off your issues ASAP with moderate exercise.  Walking at a moderate pace at an incline will help control your cholesterol and diabeties - as well as changing your diet.  I am sure you have heard it all before, but now more than ever if you really want to try for another baby, you may want to try exercise.
I got pregnant 2 times at 43 after I added exersice and proper nutrition to my life.  They did end in m/c so that is where the road gets tough.  I had a healthy baby when I was 41 as well.
I hope it all works out for you,
Let us know
Lisa

[oceanv]

Hi,

Do you think you still ovulate?

I just wanted to say that maybe to save your self some anguish maybe you can have the FSH / Progesterone tests done before you get too far into things (the worrying). Because if the CD3 (FSH) & E test show that your egg reserve is not viable and your CD21 test for progesterone is too low and prolactin is out of range then a new baby wouldn't be easy to get in the first place. Even if you didn't have to have a reversal, and your other health issues.

I also wanted to say I'm 38, have high bp, high cholesterol, and pre-diabetic and I'm pretty sure I'm high risk even before I have a pos pregnancy test :-O( so that is something to worry about (I do - constantly)

I think I'd have the tests done without informing my husband though, no point getting his hopes up or complicate things even further

Good Luck,
joanne

[adgal]

If you want to do this, you need to see an RE and see if its still an option, and what your odds are.  To go through with a tubal reversal and have their not be a good chance is something you shouldn't put yourself through. There are also options like IVF, etc and donor eggs if you don't ovulate or no longer produce quality eggs (FSH test).  If you don't want to do this though, don't.  Quite frankly, if he were the one able to have the baby, then he could make the final decision.  You really need to do whats best for you when it comes to something like this.  I wish you well!

[40smama]

I agree w/the others - see an RE to evaluate your situation.  On the tubal ligation, I too had one and when we consultetd an re to see about a reversal, she highly recommended doing IVF because of my age (45).  I have to be honest though:  IVF is very tough on an older woman's eggs & the stats aren't good.

I'll just tell you a little of my story:  I decided to try IVF w/my own eggs and it was unsuccessful due to lack of ovarian stimulation so I decided to go for donor eggs again due to my age (44 by this time).  I learned that age had little to do w/this option - the main factor that it entailed was to have an adequate uterine lining for the embryo to implant.

I'm not recommending donor eggs though - the best thing again to do is to see a re to weigh your best options.  Btw, I delivered a healthy baby boy at almost 45 and it was probably one of my best pregnancies!

Now I read that you really don't want to have anymore children - in that case, I'd think long and hard before going ahead w/all of this procedures/tests no matter what your husband wants.  you're the one who has to go through most of the 'stuff' that has to do w/conception, pregnancy & labor/delivery.  About the spina bifida, there are so many tests to detect it - i don't know the odds at this age but they're considerably higher than for a younger woman.  A doctor can best give you that information.

Good luck on your decision - I really feel for you as I too had to think long and hard before going through starting over - it has been 15 years since I had a baby plus I also have much older children but they were so excited to have a little brother!