stress and anxiety and venting

[Renogirl]

Argh - please tell me that one of you ladies have experienced this and still had really good results - all day long, I have had this horrible feeling that SOMETHING is wrong with the baby.  Not sure why I feel that way - just scared to death and worried sick.  Hasn't helped that I've been having a hard time the past couple of days finding a heartbeat.  I'm trying to stay calm because I don't need to add that stress if the baby is ok - but what if something happened to peanut last like time and I didn't know it???  I am calling my obgyn and begging in the morning for them to get me in - even if its just for ten minutes to try to find the heartbeat.  I'll wait until my appt on the 23rd for everything else - I just need to hear the heart.  If they won't get me in, I am fully ready to call my RE and beg them - argh argh argh - I need a HUGE chocolate Frosty right about now!  Plus I have lost a couple of pounds the past couple of days.  Trying not to stress but it's so hard.  We want this little one so badly.  Keep your fingers crossed for us please and say a prayer!

[pertykitty]

reno that is my new plan.  my mom had bought my bedding for my son, and she spend several hundred dollars, it had to be perfect.  well i know better!! it gets puked on, peed on and maybe pooped on.  i am going to see if i can find a person to make it.  if not, well i will settle for some beautiful ones i have found on ebay, brand new and very cheap.

[Renogirl]

Just a thought - not sure what the bedding looks like - but could you have someone who sews duplicate it?  There is a beautiful bedding set at Pottery Barn Kids that I want - I'm going to have my mom make it -

[pertykitty]

oh what did you buy?? lol i have been trying to buy things in different sizes.  they can grow out of newborn stuff so fast.  i bought my crib its coming tomarrow (i bought it used, a beautiful cherry wood i got it for $100 and ill give her a massage!)  the bedding i found OF COURSE is $1000, no i wouldnt buy it even IF i had that kind of money, it just bites that i have such expensive taste.  the bedding can be found in the babies r us website. the only one for that much $$!!!   im trying to save some for dh to help with lol.  

[shesherm]

OOH yeah the GIRL closet...LOL.  I just got back from 6hr shopping extravaganza with MIL....ugh EVERYTHING  is sooooo cute

[pertykitty]

chiromom i do love the u.s.    i have another in the dr office the 20th to make sure its a girl (you should see her closet already lol).   time goes by so fast, i cant believe its been 22 weeks tomarrow!!

[chiromom]

Congratulations to you - I completely agree.  I also missed my son being in my belly.  It is an amazing experience.  Let's all join pertykitty and relax and have faith.  I scheduled my US for this Thursday (at my OB's insistence) - yet I would rather wait.  

[pertykitty]

because i dont feel great movements and not very often i worry as well.  my dr assured me its all ok.  that is one reason i wont get a doppler, i tend to be ocd about certain things and i could find myself loony from not finding the heartbeat.  i think if you try to relax and have faith its all ok you will calm down and put your doppler away for a bit (have dh hide it lol) and you can enjoy your pg.  really after my son was born i missed him being so close to me, and i am trying to enjoy every moment of it with this one.  

[chiromom]

About that article (home use dopplers) - I thought the most interesting point was this: "Continuous Doppler ultrasound, which is what most of the hand-held fetal monitors use to let people listen to the fetus's heartbeat, deploys acoustical energy that is lower in intensity than standard ultrasound. But the energy needs to be emitted more continuously for the machines to do their work. The potential risk here is that it could heat and damage developing fetal tissue if used for long periods of time. Most experts agree that the risk, if there is any, is highest during the first trimester."
I remember someone noting in the forum that they thought it was OK because it only ran on a little battery - so it couldn't be that strong.  The more continuous the US, the more heat it produces, thus, the more damage it can produce.  I'm sure there are plenty of people that have overused these dopplers and their babies were fine - but I just think everyone should be aware of the possible risks.

[spec]

I feel that everything is going to be OK too.  I also think that if your doc thought something was wrong, they would have rushed you in.  It's easier for us to say, but do try to relax and not worry too much over it.  I'm sure that it will all be OK, and I know once you see your doc and are reassured it will make you feel better too.   :)

[shesherm]

Rebecka,  Hopefully your DR can get you in this week.  Try to stay calm you are a worrier and I'm sure that is the only reason you feel something is wrong.  it's funny I didnt worry about anything with our 1st pregnancy I wish that were the case this time but I don't think I worry as much as I thought I would...We are gonna let MIL hear the heartbeat and then I think that is it for us, we made it this far without it but wanted MIL to be a part of our pregnanc.  I'm gonna check out the article chiromom's talkin about.  Hang in there and think POSITIVE...Dr not ushing you in is definately a positive.  "Dont worry be happy now...do do do dodo do do do do do do Dont woryy be happy"  Sorry the Karaoke bar was open LOL

[Renogirl]

thanks - at some point in my life, you would think I would learn to take the highway or the scenic route - just rather ingrained in my personality I think to hit every single pot hole that exists and then try to learn something from that - I have no reason not to think that everything is ok with our peanut - just this weird feeling and as DH keeps saying - think positive - much easier to give that advice to someone else then to take it yourself - if ya know what I mean - lol

[chiromom]

My thoughts and prayers are with you.  As a healthcare provider I am used to giving people advise that they don't want to hear.  Everyone has their own road that they have to take.  Some take the highway, some prefer the scenic route, and some go off-roading through the potholes.  I just give out directions.  But the driver makes the choices.  Only you know what is best for you - what makes you comfortable.  If the OB was really concerned - they would have sent you for an US immediately.  It's going to be OK.

[Renogirl]

lol - I'm trying to relax now - its just not easy - and I'm just teasing you about the I Told You so thing - I respect the fact that you are willing to be honest even if people may not always agree with what you are saying.  I have tried to read quite a bit about the dopplers - but I will read the article you listed as well.  I have to admit - if this is all just paranoia and anxiety - I'm really tempted to just get rid of the doppler after this incident - especially if everything is ok - I called my obgyn and they can't get me in today so they are going to try to squeeze me in sometime this week - keep your fingers crossed

[chiromom]

I didn't mean it to sound like an "I told you so" - it just seemed to me like a recipe for added anxiety - instead of a reassurance.  It may be easy to find sometimes, but when it is difficult to find, then the only thing left to do is stress and worry.  Also - I'm just so worried about the risks to that developing fetus in the first trimester.  Do me a favor and read this article from the Wall Street Journal: http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/05242/562568.stm
It has the positives and some of the risks.  I'm a conservative person that believes in moderation.  I think having those monitors at home is like having a big chocolate cake in the refrigerator.  If it's there - you are going to eat it.  If you have the doppler at home - you are going to be tempted to use it all the time.  I had my miscarriage at 14 weeks - when I should have been pretty much "in the clear."  I have 6 more weeks to reach that point - 6 more weeks of stress and anxiety.  But - I can't control what is going to happen.  So, I'm just trying to enjoy the ride.  I'm trying to remind myself that every pregnancy is different.  When you go in, and the OB finds the heartbeat, can you promise me that you will try to relax? :)

[Renogirl]

Last miscarriage was at eight weeks - so we are past that thankfully!  I've never really had any major symptoms - so its not like I can freak because they are gone - never had any morning sickness, just a few days here and there where tummy just didn't feel right - boob soreness is almost gone - only feel it occasionally - hungry ALL the time but takes very little to fill me up, then I'm hungry again half hour later - still tire easily - that's about it.  Not really trying to lose weight - haven't changed eating habits any that I am aware of - just this horrible sick feeling that something is wrong.  Dunno know why I feel that way - paranoia I'm sure - DH keeps reassuring me that we have no reason to suspect anything is wrong - but that's what happened last time - we had no reason to suspect anything was wrong and we lost the baby and never knew it until our RE caught it - argh argh argh

chiromom - are you related to my mother? lol - ya kinda sound like her with the kind I told you so!  Just promise me you aren't doing the I Told You So dance!  IF I can get into my obgyn and IF she can find the heartbeat - I think I'll send back the doppler - stubborn mule ain't I?

[shesherm]

Rebecka, ugh Sorry I wasnt around yesterday for a brief imprompto therapy session but I am available this morn so here goes.  
First thing is to just relax LOL you said you had trouble finding the HB. ( I did too yesterday and freaked a little.  Chiromom is right  and I've only used mine 3 times since I got it but found HB so easy first 2 times).  Just because you cant find it doesnt mean anything.  
Losing weight this early is no biggie...but we shouldnt try to obviously.  My girlfriend was so sick she lost 15 lbs the 1st trimester and has a healthy 31 week bean.  Don't know about you but there are days I want to eat EVERYTHING then days when NOTHING sounds good and my wieght always fluctuated by a pound or two pre pregnancy and seems to sometimes do the same now...they few pounds is no biggie.  
Have you had anyother symptoms?  I FREAKED OUT at 9w6d because it was just before our M/C last time...thought my symptoms were disappearing, M/S left after only 2 weeks, bb's and belly seemed to be getting smaller and here I am 6 weeks later doing GREAT.  Are you close to a milestone from your last M/C?  
Have another drink and relax.  Let me know what the OB says. I'll be waiting to hear from you ((Sheila))

[chiromom]

Worrying is not going to help the baby.  Take a deep breathe and think positive thoughts.  Negative energy is not good for you - or the baby.  Stress releases cortisol, raises your blood pressure, and will just lead to anxiety.  This is so out of your control right now - know that you are doing all that you can.  This is what I mean about using those dopplers at home.  Look at the stress this is giving you when you have a hard time finding the heartbeat?  I think you should do some meditation and relaxation exercises and try not to freak out.  No one can promise that everything will be OK, but, what will be will be.  Everyone will of course, say a prayer.  I wish you happy calming thoughts of serenity and peacefulness.  Good luck.

[spec]

I am so sorry that you are having a bad day.  I will say a prayer for you that everything is just fine with the baby.   Good luck tomorrow and let us know.