Not in our plans

[syn32]

I guess just trying to find myself I had a loving relationship on track to be something great neither of us wanted more children but I'm told antibiotics after surgery caused my birth control to be ineffective.  I can't tell my family but he didn't want me to keep it. I didn't have the heart to get an abortion. We both have children with other people that we co - parent together so I couldn't imagine having our own and not stepping up and doing the same.  I'm just heart broken because he doesn't look at me the same he barely even touches me. I'm starting to think keeping my baby may cost me the love of my life. Which will hurt not only me and this baby, but the two children I already have. I Don't know what to do!

[kopelitsa11]

Sorry you are going this. I agree with you regarding the fact that both of you are co parenting your other children but not stepping up to accept the one that belongs  to the both of you. Pesonally I would keep this baby...God blessed you with him/ her for a reason. Express your feelings to him if you havent already. Try asking your husband to go to therapy. I wish you all the best.

[ShanaPlus2]

I feel like who ever truly loves you will understand the way you think and feel... And live u no matter what...or should at least...having kids already and adding more be a stressful thought to anyone that needs to step up and support and be there...go with your gut and your heart.... In the end you'll thank yourself if no one else does....xoxox

[eddylids]

Birth control has no guarantee.  Don't kill your baby, you will regret it. Even though the baby was not planned you both had sex and are living together so it's time to live up to the responsibility of caring for a child. Talk to your baby's father and explain to him with your heart why you can't terminate. If he loves you he will come around. Pray for bravery and wisdom to find the right words to speak to him. I hope the best for you both.

[chloegc1023]

What is the status of ur relationship?  He's just having a hard time accepting another child in his life, but I'm pretty sure that he will come around as u get closer to ur due date or once baby is born.  I've seen this happen with a few ppl in ur situation and in the end everything worked out for the best.  It even made some ppl realize that being just in a ltr wasn't enough and it prompted them to get engaged or married.  Try to just let it be, and if it doesn't work with this man, then u will see where u really stood in his life.  I hope it works out for u.  

[luxah]

Why aren't you able to tell your family? I'm not saying to tell them about the strain it is causing between you and your husband?  But maybe if you had more people excited about it then he'd get excited. I wouldn't worry about your other children having a problem with another baby in the house. If they're old enough to understand, then they'll prolly be excited to be big siblings. He may need time, but the choice to keep or not is yours, it could help, or it could help nothing. Because it can change who you are, and how you are towards him. You have to make the choice for you, and not anyone else. Good luck.

[syn32]

Thanks for the support my family knows I'm expecting they just aren't aware of the strain it has put on our relationship. Everyone is very excited children included. I just can't be excited watching it pulls us apart.

[luxah]

How far along are you? And no that can't be much fun. Have you tried explaining to him and talking about this civil like? Maybe take him out to dinner or something. He could justbe stressed with the Idea of another mouth to fees. In the end its not the end of the world, and he needs to realize that. I'm sorry this hasn't been easy for you. I hope for the best for you.

[cecilia_morgan]

Yea im sorry but if he is the love of your life he needs to accept it and step up it may not have been ideal ir planned but uk sex makes things hasten occasionally so in my mind sex= being prepared bc you just never know lol but I can't see ruining/terminating this babies life bc ppl can't be responsible enough to deal with the consequences and step up. Im dry but that is how I feel of he lives you then he needs to step up. Counseling could be very helpful. But to do anything other than keep this baby would be very unfair it and to you. Best of luck. Hope things work out.