Babies & Marriage??

[LibraMum]

A little back story me & bf have been together 5yrs have 1kid(3yo) & we are expecting #2 in April. We have discussed marriage & we both agree we want to but I don't want it just because I'm pregnant again. I want to be more financially stable and of course I want a ring. Where we are right now its not like he can afford to go buy one tomorrow but at my Dr appt today the Dr basically chewed us out saying we should be married, quoting the bible (I'm not even Christian), and even said well since I was settling for him not stepping up maybe "that's what I deserve". He wasn't trying to be rude just really pushy about his faith & beliefs but I was SUPER embarrassed & he made me feel ashamed. What do you ladies think? Rush down to the court house as he suggests or wait until I feel like conditions are right?

[GxoK]

I was always very much against marriage my entire life....until I met my husband lol We did the courthouse marriage, I waited for the ring and am still hoping, one day, I'll b able to do what every girl wants to do, and get the dress and the cake and all that jazz. I was ok with it bc I love him and a piece of paper didn't and hasn't changed our relationship at all. The only difference between us now and us then is that, when I talk about him, I say 'my husband' instead of 'my fiance' or 'my boyfriend'. If u all r set on being together, the theatrics of a ceremony aren't going to change anything. It's all aesthetic. That being said, ur doc had no right interpreting ur personal life in any way or religious manner if ur lifestyle isn't a threat to u, ur baby, or others. It's not their job. Even if u asked, they r still not allowed to do that.

[LeeshaMiranda]

You know, I want the same thing too. At least to have a wedding and a ring and I do not want to be pregnant at the time. I've realized that since I don't want yellow gold anyway that we might as well just get a silver ring. It's a lot cheaper. Also, there are so many blogs and articles about not spending a fortune on your wedding. Pinterest can be a wonderful thing for saving money. Don't rush if you don't want to because it's your life and you're the one living it.

[tsukitora]

Thats horrible. He has no right saying that to you. My bf and i are expecting our first in nov and have been together about 5 years. We are happy either way if we get married or not. Why should it matter having a piece of paper. Honestly id wait so u can have the wedding you want. I was married once before amd thankfully we didnt have kids but i regretted rushing my wedding because it wasnt what i wanted. Screw ur doctor.

[traciv]

File a complaint immediately!  That was so out of line. My fiance and I have been together for 4 years we have a 2 year old daughter and another on the way. I will not get married at a courthouse.  I want a wedding (I only get one). It is not your doctor's business as to whether you are married or not. I have a very Christian aunt who has pushed the subject and said extremely inappropriate and hurtful things and I explained to her that in our hearts we were married.  We have a loving committed relationship where everything is 50/50. Everything we have we have together.

[LibraMum]

Thanks ladies. And I'm not waiting on a big ring or fancy wedding but it would be nice to have A ring. I was really appauled I expect to hear these things from certain family members but coming from my Dr just upset me for some reason. I know 2 family members who think similar to him, both in ultimatum marriages (marry me or I leave) and the men married them its been over 15yrs for one and around 10 for the other & both marriages have had infidelity. I don't wanna rush but I'm also no fool I'm not waiting forever I guess we're not moving fast enough for the Doc

[Daniellerene]

Don't worrie my bf and I are engaged , I don't have a ring we got tattoos on our fingers for now I have I DO and he has DITTO .. but this is my 2nd son (different fathers) and I have never been married , people will try and push but in the end you both love each other and have been together for ever and that's what matters , and your doctor sounds like my uncle ... He trys too preach at me and everything pay no mind to what they say as long as you guys love each other and your kids and is a family that's what matters

[perks71]

Well that was kind of rude of him.  Bit if your waiting for things to get perfect they won't.  I have a customer who after waiting 13 yrs and 4 kids later they finally just went to court house and got married they never got their perfect situation.

[mrsacjjack]

First and for most. Get a new doc! CUZ if he thinks thats appropriate.  Only god knows what he thinks  appropriate health care is. Has for marriage. All the stats speak to marriage being best for kids. It helps in every dept. When it comes to raising kids. I would go for the Court house. And have a big party later!!!

[Nikki4289]

I have people in my life that have mentioned this to me as well. I'm 25 w baby #2. I want the fairy tale engagement with a nice wedding. But I'm slowly figuring out that may not ever come. My Bf tells me he wants to get married but he doesn't have $ for a ring and we deff don't have the $ for a wedding. I get lots of help from the state for being a single mom. So getting married I would loose all my benefits. We do live by ourselves and pay our own bills but we are just getting by. Get married if you feel it's right. Money is an object and
a fairy tales aren't real. 5 years is a long time if either of you don't see yourselves with anyone else I say do it. Good luck to you! ♡♡♡

[mrsjoseph22]

I don't have a ring and it doesn't bother me, me and my husband got married at city hall last year then went for dinner...He told me he doesn't want to spend his life with no one else and when we did have the money we would have a big wedding in our country with all of our family and that was good enough for me

[linzdeighton1]

I don't think you such hold out for a big wedding and a nice ring because that may never happen but I also don't think rushing down to the court house is the right answer. The 2 of you need to be in agreement that it's the right time and the right thing to do. If you get married because you are pregnant you are getting married for all the wrong reasons.

[chisaac]

Your doctor is way out of place!! That's your choice. When you are ready you will do what you have to do!

[lilbrother1]

He needs to mind his business. He's a doctor that's it.

[San408]

Only get married if you two want it, not because some 3rd party wants it for you. DF and I have been together for almost 10yrs, no rush to get married. Instead we spent the
"wedding money" on purchasing on first home.

[San408]

I would file a complaint!! Your doctor has no right to judge your relationship nor push his religious beliefs on you!!

[nkeever90]

Dont do it unless both of you are ready hon only the two of you will know do not listen to outside opinions forced marriages are not always the best

[nkeever90]

Dont do it unless both of you are ready hon only the two of you will know do not listen to outside opinions forced marriages are not always the best

[dominika1980]

My mouth always drops when I hear things like that. I get so offended,  I'd be changing doctors in fact. Big ups to you for staying calm.
Doctor is there to treat not to preach.
Do what's right for you and your family,  hun.
Xoxo

[YaryMommy]

My husband asked me if I wanted a ring or a new iPhone, I said a phone. I'm very simple never wear jewelry, don't die my hair, don't paint my nails, I'm not into fashion. I'm just clean and love working out. Anyway, don't be afraid to get married it's a wonderful blessing. I was saying to some girl in here that my husband was offered like jobs here and there and were always blessed not rich but we have enough. And I always say that it's because we did the right thing.

[cecilia_morgan]

Screw the doctor do what is best for your family. :-) my husband and I are 8 years apart im almost 25 oct 22 lol and just turned 33. We started dating when I was 19. When I was 21 we got pregnant and have a son that will be 3 in November. We got knocked up while planning or wedding lol needless to say I was going to be 8 months pregnant so we x waited a treat got married oct 20 2012. And we're expecting our daughter dec 19! :-) dont let ppl push you or judge you! :-) as long as you guys are happy who cares?

[jesshat]

Don't wait until you have the money.... It may never happen. That's been my feeling on marriage and having kids can't always wait because it may never happen and you waited all that time for nothing.

[LibraMum]

I am 23 btw & this is my specialist not regular obgyn