My dilemma and feeling depressed

[Denise2346]

Hi ladies!! I'm 26 yrs old 22 weeks pregnant with my third child my dilemma is that my parents have been asking my husband & I to let them borrow money pretty much ever since we told them how much we have saved this last couple months pretty much almost ever since my husband got this great job with a good pay . But before that it was just me working for a while because my husband couldn't get a job. And my parents were always talking smack about him. Now there always calling asking and my husband and I for money when my dad makes the same amount as my husband and my mom makes as much as I do . They also have a gambling problem my husband says I'm working hard to take care of you and the kids and to get out where we live because our apartment small were trying to move out by December before the baby here and to buy new appliances and furniture and things were gonna need for the baby . Ever since we said no mom stop calling me she used to call me everyday . I feel lonely and feel like my family just calls me when they need a favor or a ride .  I know my family my husband and my kids but feel like I need my parents but don't know what to do there getting mad at me for saying no when I know the night before they were at the casino and no they had no money . I just don't know who to tell them to stop calling me if it's for money because you already know my husband gonna say no but they know for anything else  I'm always there for them.

[Denise2346]

Thanks ladies for your advise very appreciated :)

[EllaMari]

Be calm, honest, and blunt. "Mom/Dad, I love you but I am not giving you any more financial assistance. I have a family of my own to provide for and they need to be my top priority." If they get upset or protest I would calmly say that you are concerned about their gambling problem and believe any money you give them will just make that problem worse. I know it feels harsh, but you need to set hard boundaries to protect you, your marriage, and your family.

[30ftm]

I'm sorry you're going through that at a time like this. It's always tricky with family.  I've been in a similar situation and had to pull away for a while.  It is good you're not giving them money anymore because it's just supporting their addiction.  It sounds more than a habit. Sometimes it really is tough love they won't like it they'll hurt your feelings time and time again but in the end you have to think what's best for you and your sanity and peace of mind. Hang in there when they are ready to come around they will. It took my family about 3 years now they stop asking for money the hardest thing was telling them no the 1st time then Lil by Lil it got easier

[maryleeruiz80]

Honestly your parents shouldnt be putting you in a spot to feel the way your feeling, without being disrespectful but truly honest you should talk to them! your family comes first thats husband and kids! you have to provide for your family and its great that you guys saved money to better that and your parents should know that, and what its for!  Its not that its extra money to blow its bettering your future! Also think what would happen god forbid but it goes back to just u working... or visa versa anyways, the point is talk to them and let them know u need their support. Good luck hope i was of some help!