sorry such a long vent i am kinda upset with/about cousin

[secondandlastone0914]

Kinda upset i have a autistic cousin whom comes and spends the night with me he has always been close to me a major part of my life has separation anxiety disorder real bad when he does not get to spend night (I used to live with him his mom and dad before I had my first son still live in same town cause I know how me moving would affect him upset him) anyway when he spends the night I always get snacks for myself my son and him specific flavours for use each but issue is if I get anything same flavour as him I get very little if it or I go to bed and by time I wake up its all gone (what I bought for myself) I also don't baby him make him do things he is capable of cleaning his messes up and getting something taken away doing punishment when he misbehaves ( he knows right from wrong on almost all things.) His mom is same way when he is at home but his daddy overly baby's him gives on to everything no matter how he acts won't do any consequence reward system like me and his mom does so he feels when at my house he can do whatever treat me like crap and still get his way. Dont wanna take him spending night away but I don't know how to get through to his daddy that when he baby's him he expects everyone to whether its me his mom or anyone else's . but  looks like to prove my point that I won't tolerate it its gonna come to that. And now his dad is hestitae to leave custudy of him to me if anything was to happen health /death wise with himself (my uncle) and my aunt which leave him to go to a group him for special needs disabled people since he has no since of money how it works needs and bills come first and medical wise he will refuse any medical treatment even if life saving but even there they won't tolerate even half the stuff me and his mom does don't know how to to make his dad understand that babying him is not good and is gonna cause issues for others and in future no matter where he goes once they are not alive anymore.

[secondandlastone0914]

Only reason i worry is cause its either me Or group home no one else willing to take him in not even his brother or sister whom are grown are well off due to their careers have family's of their own plus his parents have health issues are up in age. Just I love him so much and he deserves to be with someone accepting of him whom loves him understands him.  Whenever that time comes. Try for the responses I do understand his fathers actions i can't control but I have control in my home of what happens just saddens me it comes down to me or a group home in the event of death

[charlie12008]

I work with children who have autism and agree completely with grizzlace. Children who have high functioning autism (where they have language skills to communicate effectively) are best treated like everyone else and are certainly capable of learning appropriate behaviours. They may need clearer instructions on appropriate behaviors but they are able to behave just like any other child. Using rewards and clear consequences that are directly related to specific behaviors is the best way for them to learn.If you do this you will set them up for success in the future. Just remember that it is near impossible for you to control his fathers parenting style but you can control what happens in your household. Good luck!

[grizzlace]

You may love him very much but that issue lies between him and his parents. You need to worry about your baby and if your cousin's father is going to act like a child, then you have no control over it. However, you may win the argument if it comes down to a court settlement. Keep your head up. I also have a cousin who is autistic... his parents treat him no different than his siblings. He is smart, i'm assuming your cousin is too.