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Ranting and needing some advice
Okay so my best friend of about 6 years has me really irritated right now. I need a little venting. Sorry if anyone is offended but I need advice. Okay so here goes: Her husband and my husband have been best friends since they were in middle school. That is how her and I met each other. They had their son before my husband and I had ours. When they got pregnant with him they asked my husband to be their sons god father (My husband and I were not married yet) They finally baptized their son when he was 3 1/2 years old. At that point they asked me to be his godmother. I obviously said yes!!! I was so excited. 2 weeks before the christening her and I got into a tiff and she asked her sister in law to be his godmother instead yet I was still invited to the christening. In the mean time My husband and I had our 1st child between the time when their son was born and baptized her husband was the godfather. The reason she wasn't the godmother was because they were separated at the time. Then she got pregnant again and asked me to be the new babies god mother..... Needless to say her husband and I got into a little tiff and he said he didn't want me to be the godmother. (Here we go again!!!!) Well their daughter is almost 2 and still hasn't been baptized. (Little side note: He is Roman catholic(Non- practicing) and she has no religion. They only baptized their son because his mother wanted it done). Now, I am currently 30 weeks pregnant with our 2nd child and I had asked her and him to be the babies god parents. They both said yes!!! We moved to SC and my husband and I became members of a new church. Well this church has different rules than I am used to. 1 god parent has to be roman catholic and have a letter from their church saying they have been a practicing catholic for the past 6 months and the other god parent has to be at least christian. Here is the problem..... He cannot get a letter because he doesn't go to church and she is not christian! So I had to break the news to her and tell her that I was going to have my parents do it but I want her to still feel like this babies godmother so that can be something we know between us. She got so pissed at me and rushed me off the phone and was like well I personally don't care but my husband is going to be insulted. Oh really you dont care????? Why did I choose you anyway then? And why would her husband be insulted I have NO control over what the church tells me I have to do!!! HELP ME PLEASE!!!! Am I wrong in wanting to even baptize the baby after all of this or is she over reacting!!! HELP PLEASE
Best Answer
I think it's time to reevaluate that friendship. If the husband's are friends then they are friends doesn't necessarily mean the wives should because they are. I am not friends with my husband's friends wives. And I don't intend to push on a friendship because he happens to have one. To each it's own. I say select someone else that is symbolic of what a godparent is. The ultimate thing to not forget is why you are doing this. To fulfill a sacrament in religion which is an amazing thing to do for this child. Dont stress over it even though it's tough to say. Idk but she sounds like she threw some shade at you. And she really doesn't sound like a true friend. Best thing to do is little by little start dissociating yourself with her. You don't need someone like that near you or your child.
I personally wouldnt let them b ur kids god parents for one she already asked u first you guus argued and she act like a child by gaving her sil b tge fod mom her husvand did the same thing the second time she got p.g he didnt want u to b the g.m obviously it sounds like pay bak and a title thing for them either they dont no the true meaning of beibg god parents....dont stress it cuz she didnt care how u felt after u already said yes the first time and u having to c ur husband baptize the baby wit her sil....
Just an update for you all..... I had a huge blow out with her today and I told her that I am 8 months pregnant and I cannot deal with this high school drama. I told her to call me when she graduated high school. Thanks for all of your advice ladies!!!
I think you guys aren't friends. so the whole godparent thing is a mute issue
They will not be getting our children in the event that something happens to both my husband and I. The catholic church here wants to make sure that they are in good standing as in they need a letter stating that they have been to church every Sunday for the past 6 months. I am so sick of her thinking she can make me feel like crap. I am so over this and don't need her in my life. She moved 12 mins from my house and now i talk and see her less than i did when she was in pa and i was here on sc. She has a new friend who lives next door to her and she has ignored me since the moved here. I can't stand being treated like this. I done need the stress now and she acts like she couldn't even care that i am live this close or that written even exists. I have had her family here 2 times for dinner one of which i dyed her hair for her. And that was 5 weeks ago and she hasn't asked us to come over to her place or to even see us !! What would you guys do in this situation ?
Catholic churches in SC are oddly strict - I have family friends that moved there, devote catholics, kids always attended catholic schools in CA -chirch every Sunday etc. When the moved to SC, the kids hated the church for being so exclusionary, hateful and conservative, the family actually switched to attending an Episcopalian church
Kintzymom only a Will determines who gets the children in the event both parents die. God parents have nothing to do with it. If you choose for them to be the same people that's great, but it's not necessary. My husband and I are not at all religious (I would now consider myself an athiest) however we were both raised as catholic and our children will receive their sacraments. However finding godparents will be tough since we technically have no "good standing Catholics" in the family
My husband and I are not Catholic buy we are God parents for his sister's three kids. We were chosen because in the event his sister and hubby would pass the kids come to us in their will. We are both Methodist so we are Christian. Do you have a plan for your children heaven forbid you were to both pass? That's is also how we choose. Pick who you know shares your love for God. If you were to pass early those you choose will keep that faith instilled in your children. Good luck! God bless! And stay away from the drama!
In the Catholic religion you do not choose Godparents by who will take the kids if something happens to you, that is not the point. The point of the Godparents in the Catholic religion is to make sure the children are brought up in thr church, and if the parents stop going to church or teaching the religion the Godparents are supposed to step in and take over. So her not being religious and her husband not even practicing the religion is the perfect reason not to choose them. If they are only worried about having the role of taking the kids if something happens to you and your husband that is a whole separate issue.
In the roman catholic church you usually need a letter from one godparent's church saying that they are a catholic in good standing. Also godparents have no legal standing to take guardianship over your children if something happens to you. If you have living parents and no Will written your children automatically go to your parents.
Neither my husband or I is religious, we chose "god parents" for our little boy based on who we think could and would take care of him like their own if something were to happen to us.
She probably thinks your doing it on purpose to get back at her. Baptizing a child should be about presenting to God, not status symbol of being god parent. Sounds like a bunch of unnecessary drama :/
Then she said.... "Why can't I just wait 6 months for them to become members of a church here and wait to have my baby baptized."
I did. I asked my parents and now my friend is pissed at me.
here's a thought why don't you choose different God parents....All this drama and stresss is simply not worth it WHILE you're pregnant!!! Good luck!!!
I agree. But with the church you have to have them if you want the baby baptized.
^I agree with her. Its just a title.
I don't see a problem baptizing your children, but honestly the whole god parents thing seems like a lot more trouble than it's worth. I'm not saying that no one should have god parents, but for you is it really worth all the drama?
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