Shared Custody??

[Malia321]

Need advice from anyone who's had to deal with sharing custody of their newborn. So I'm obviously not with my babies father and he is insisting when the baby is born that we should have 50/50 custody. I can't imagine how that would work. How can I give up my newborn every other week? Plus I really want to breast feed I don't want there to be nipple confusion. If anyone has had to deal with this I'd love some advice.

[laura0114]

I have had shared custody of my son for for six years now.  He is now 13 years old.  At first the judge denied it and set up a meeting with us.  He said in almost all cases the parents are back in court fighting for a new arrangement within one year.  It did work in our case for the most part.   My son likes the arrangement but I still have weeks that I cry constantly when he isn't here.  You will be missing out on half of his life.  Everyone you get your child back he/she will look a little different . The grow so much . If you plan to beat feed I personally wouldn't start the 50/50 till after 6 months.

[chellybellybean]

Here in indiana the courts will not let them do 50/50 with a newborn, the father usually doesnt even get the option of an overnight stay granted until 4 months, which is the age they deem that the baby can safely be away from the mother for a 24 hour period of time and the mother should be producing enough milk to pump and have a supply to send for that said period, but even then they will not let themtake them for a whole week. My sister is in family law here in indiana and im seperated from my husband. Idk how it is in other states but here they dont allow that.

[Malia321]

Trying to figure it out without the courts but I just don't think he gets that it wouldn't be good to do weekly custody with a newborn. I'm not trying to keep him away but I feel like the baby should be with me until he's at least a few months

[babyblessing88]

Seek legal advice!!! Your baby deserves to be represented.    No judge is going to allow allot custody of a newborn child, anyway.  And the baby should be with you, especially if you are planning to breastfeed.   There is no other way around that.   Its great the the father wants to be involved, but he can come see the baby in the evenings and maybe take the baby in between a feeding on Saturdays or something.    If he really wants to be involved y'all can figure out a way.    And if y'all never married each other, you will have whole custody for the baby at birth. He will have to take you to court to even get rights.   You have nothing to worry about.

[emt29817]

I don't have an issue with this but coming to an arrangement outside of a court room is always the best option. The 2 of you have a child together so as adults you two have to stay civil. Working together as parents will always be the best outcome for the child. Dad's need to bond with the baby too. I know the judges around always want the parents to try to work things out themselves before the court because involved.  So here's an idea....if you live alone or with someone maybe he can come and stay with you and the baby for a week every now and then and sometimes take the baby in short outings. You could always pump and bottle feed if neccessary on those days. And I know the judges will do a 50/50 shared with a newborn forcing the baby to be a formula baby.

[Johnna06]

It's great that the father wants to be apart of the child's life, so I would explain to him that it's best for the child to be with you majority of the time!! Esp since you will be breast feeding!!! Come up with some kind of schedule that he can see the child for a little while during snow days and that will relieve you and give you some time to yourself! You definitely will need it!! Also I'm almost positive the courts will not do share custody at such a young age!!! All that moving around back n forth will not be good or healthy for baby!!! Good luck and hold your head up!!! I have a 5 year old and the custody battle takes time and patience and it will get better!!! :-) XOXO

[Roxanne28]

I dnt think u should do that, after few moth maybe yh when the baby is bit older bt no with newborn, what is that gonna be all abt 1 week on brest 1 week on bottle thats not even the option, i would never do that i will be sit all week worrying sick, baby need to be with u and he can come to visit if its possible and yh i agree even court wouldnt do 50/50 with newborn
Good luck xxx

[dragjess]

I don't think theybdo shared custody with a newborn. I would look into it with a lawyer.

[ftm_sept2014]

I am experiencing a similar situation I will be filing for divorce soon would love if someone could shed light on our situation. Good luck to you I can sympathise with what you are going through.