Spreading the love

[Pearl1982]

im a FTM but am extremely close to my 14 year old nephew and 8 year old niece. For the last 14 years these kids have been like my own, spending every weekend and school holiday at my house, etc. I'm 22 weeks pregnant and my family has shifted a lot of the attention to me and my baby boy which makes me feel guilty because I'm usually the one doing for everyone else and taking care of everyone else's needs. I love my niece and nephew beyond words but I'm so excited to be bringing a piece of me and my boyfriend into this world...how can I find balance to be a good aunt to kids that are basically mine and my baby boy?

[specialmom]

Believe it or not, I had so much attention on my niece and nephews that I was in the SAME boat.  I adore my sister's kiddos like they are my own.  

Things did change a tiny bit when I had my baby.  I will not lie.  I was slightly less available.  When kids are babies, you are kind of tired.  Lack some energy and getting to my niece and nephews things was a bit harder. And my niece and nephew (middle child) were getting into stages in which they themselves were hanging around less with family and adults in their lives.  This made for our drifting a bit for a while.  Boo.  My kids couldn't be playmates to them because they are so much younger.  

I would say absolutely have them to your house just like you used to.  They'll probably love your baby to death.  There will be some natural separation as they age and as you get more busy (wait until your kiddos get busy too . ..   I haven't had a free weekend in like 3 years!) but the bonds you've created will last a life time.

My niece is now graduated college!  Well, my boys and I went and stayed with her in Florida (as she works at Disney World as an artist).  It was wonderful. Seeing her interact with my kids and our enjoying, genuinely enjoying each other's company . ..   it just brings it full circle.  We maybe didn't do as much together for a few years but we will always love one another.  I will always be her cheerleader!

And my nephew just started college.  I send him things in the mail, met him and his roommate for lunch, keep in touch as much as 'he'll' let me.  ha ha.  But I adore him and he is very very sweet to me.  

And my other nephew, still at home with my sister, we see maybe not as much as I used to but enough that we are 'involved' in each other's lives.

Anyway, that is just my story.  Life changes a bit as our circumstances change.  And it is STILL okay.  

Stay close to them but be forgiving of yourself if you miss something here and there.  You'll ALWAYS still be close.  peace

[RockRose]

I don't think I've ever read a post like yours,  Pearl,  and I've read probably a 100,000 posts on here.

I have never read a post where a mother to be worries about the attention shifting from her niece and nephew to her baby,  and worries about the older kids not being in the spotlight anymore.

You have such a giving attitude,  that you'll sail right through this and everyone is blessed by your love.

[Pearl1982]

thank you chloegc1023

[chloegc1023]

That's easy, don't change a thing you've been doing for them this whole time.  Keep reminding them that just cuz ur having a baby doesn't change the amount of love and affection you have for them.  Let them know they r still welcome to ur house anytime they desire, however, since there will be a baby in the house, u will need their help when they're there.  I say this to my 8 yr old son who has been used to being the only child in the house.  He knows that his mom and dad's love for him doesn't change and that everyone in the house will want to give attention to baby including him.  Just be open with ur niece and nephew and keep showing them the love u have been this whole time.