Step Parents

[TexasMom1108]

I'm not really old fashion,  at least I didn't think I was until today. But my first sons father and I are not together anymore. My husband and I are expecting our first child together in a month. My first sons dad dated a girl last year who had a son and my son referred to him as his brother. They were together a year and broke up. Shortly after his dad started dating another girl who had a daughter and they haven't been together more than 8 months. She is now pregnant. My son refers to her daughter as his sister now and it makes me feel really uncomfortable.  I think step siblings should be referred to as such when dad or mom get married. I told his to stop calling her his sister. I think his dad and current gf are encouraging it though. Should I bring it up to them?

[ShalaneMarie]

Personally I think it's childish on a mothers part to keep a child from knowing their half sibling. Just because u don't get along with their father why should u use your child to get even.  Repulsive
U obviously knew there was children previous to having a child with this man and had it have worked out I guarantee u would be singing a different song.

What's wrong with children getting to know another child that shares the same blood line.  Grow up

[jillygagnier]

Of course bring it up! I am a step parent and would feel TERRIBLE if i knew i had offended their mom in any way. Please talk to them about it!!!!!!

[TexasMom1108]

They aren't married is the thing. I don't care if they were married but they haven't even been together a year. And 12 months ago his dad was in another relationship with a girl that had a son and that was his "brother". He still thinks that after they have broken up... I'm not saying he should never refer to his new GFs daughter as his sister but his dad needs to get married to her first. Their child they are having together, I don't mind him calling him or her his sibling. I have a half sister where I don't even include the half part, we are family..
It's just annoying that if my husband had a child when we were dating I wouldn't force labels on it.

[swankyredz]

Its still his brothers an sisters dey have d same dad ..... Same as ur next baby will b his brother or sis Cuz dey got d same mom...even doh its half....in front still brothers an sisters any way u put it

[MamaMacMurtry]

First of all, if your ex's girlfriend is pregnant with his child, they ARE biological half siblings-not step-siblings. They have the same father. I also, personally think the differentiation shouldn't matter! My father has a 13 year old daughter with his second wife and she is my sister, regardless of who her mother is. She is my family and I love her very very much even though there is an 18 year age gap between us & she was conceived under less than perfect circumstances. Shi is & always will be my baby sister! I think its wrong and selfish to try & put a rift between siblings because you and their father didn't work out. It is not this new baby or your child's fault that your relationship didn't work out-why should they suffer because of it? Its already a more difficult & confusing situation, by focusing on the ways that they aren't family, in your eyes, you are simply adding to that confusion. Its not fair to the children.

[jmallen22282]

My son refers to his father's girlfriend's children as his brothers. Two are from her first marriage and one is from their relationship, now. It was encouraged by them and it made me uncomfortable in the beginning, but regardless of your feelings, what is best for your son? Should he and possible step - sister be just that should/if their parents get married and refer to that shared sibling as a half-sibling? In my opinion, this has more to do with your own insecurities than your son's confusion. He doesn't understand the difference. Not trying to be rude, just showing another side of the coin.

[Mama6hijos]

I personally think you are over reacting, it is his sister regardless if they are only half brother and half sister. Will you expect your son to call the baby your expecting with your husband, step brother or step sister..every where you go???  That would be quite embarrassing! And very hurtful for your new baby in the future when he/she is old enough to understand.

[chloegc1023]

Texasmom, I would have to agree with u on this.  Explain to ur son that the little boy and him r friends, and that they only become step-brother when the girlfriend and dad get married.  I don't know how old ur son is, but I'm sure he's old enough to understand that if u explain it to him.  The baby of the second gf would be his half bro/sis, but the daughter is just a friend.  Unless there is more of a commitment there like his dad will marry the gf then I would say it's okay to call her step sister.  Don't discourage it without first explaining why.  He deserves to know otherwise his dad and gf will continue to encourage it and he will get confused as to y.  That's what I would do, as I wouldn't be too happy about that neither if the dad can't stay committed to one woman for longer than a year..

[rosie_84]

*Siblings

[rosie_84]

I think children should kno the difference between whos their step/half/by marriage siblibgs. They could kno the truth and still be loved by both families.

[jmallen22282]

My son refers to his father's girlfriend's children as his brothers. Two are from her first marriage and one is from their relationship, now. It was encouraged by them and it made me uncomfortable in the beginning, but regardless of your feelings, what is best for your son? Should he and possible step - sister be just that should/if their parents get married and refer to that shared sibling as a half-sibling? In my opinion, this has more to do with your own insecurities than your son's confusion. He doesn't understand the difference. Not trying to be rude, just showing another side of the coin.

[addysmama04]

I had a similar thing happen. My first child's dad had 4 kids with 3 different women and his 2 ex's would contact me asking for pictures and such and referring to my daughter as their kids sister. I didn't agree with it. They may share a dad and be technically related, but in no way shape or form will I ever consider those kids as my daughters siblings. One of the older kids actually contacted me on Facebook asking for pics of her sister for their dads memorial page (he killed himself because he had too many child support payments). I refused. My child was never contacted by him or loved by him so no way in hell was she going to be put on his page where u had no control over what would be said. I also never considered my step dads kids my siblings and my mother didn't push it on us either. Stick to what you feel is right.

[ShalaneMarie]

I'm a step mom and I would hate for my child to grow up thinking because madelynn has a different mother that she is not his or her sister.  I don't think that because she has a different mother that she should be labeled different.  

[YaryMommy]

It's okay, that not his sister and will never be, don't feel bad. If it's not blood related then theirs nothing there, hes confusing your kid.

[marie0925]

Its a hard situation, me and my ex husband have a son together and me and my fiance are expecting our 2nd child together soon. I encourage my son and tell him there his brothers cuz they are they all came from me, no half brothers or anything to encourage family but they are blood related. Your situation is a little different, id talk to them and express your feelings but also think that they may be encouraging it because they dont want your son to only think of one as a sibling and the other not. You said she was expecting so he will have a half sibling but ultimately that is your child and anything that makes you feel uncomfortable deserves tp be discussed. I hope this helps, good luck.

[TexasMom1108]

My son calls my husband by his name.

[babyberry000]

Does your son call your husband step dad every time he refers to him? Or call him by his first name?