Mom Zombie

[AprilBabe26]

Adulthood *****.
I went to lunch with a friend today who is pregnant with her second child & she went on about how although excited, she's nervous about the addition & how she'll be even more tied down. Understandable. We got to talking about the good old days; sweet freedom, concerts, road trips...then marvelling about how it's nothing but bills, laundry, & dishes now.
I'm a month from having my first baby & after yet another completely boring night with my husband where we eat & he's asleep half an hour later, I find myself a wreck crying & anxious about how my life has not really blended with his at all but just been absorbed & vanished without a trace.
I can't remember the last thing we did that I wanted to do. His family functions take precedence over everything. There is no time for my silly ideas or hobbies.
My young & tireless nights are over completely I'm just a domesticated housewife that cries at night in the bathroom by herself while he snores & never feels like anything is wrong.
Yes I've tried talking to him. He either gets mad or says something to pacify me for a short time, actions never change.
Adding a baby just makes it harder.

How often do you want to run away from it all??

[manantiel29]

Ya so we dont go out at night and party like we use to or go out on a vacation because we work our ***** off for our family's and at the same time we our building our future for ourselves and our children. Do u really see yourselfs calling where u live now home when your 60 =) i dont i know where i am going to be when im 60. My oldest daughter is 10 let me tell you time flys i had 3 children married thinking wow this is the rest of my life. Well during that time we grew apart hes in prison now i was left to raise 3 kids on my own without my parents to help me out well i did it and on the way of me doing it i met the man i want to be with forever and ever and now we are having a little girl in 5 weeks so excited and can't wait to meet her. Everybody thats in our lifes is here for reasons and I would never take anyone of them away.

[selflynn]

Sorry hun hormones are prob a my making it worst than it is but if you have family or friends that can baby sit so you and other half can go out that should help out a lot.   For me hubby and I get out maybe 3 times a year.  We have 4 young kids and now this surprise on the way and due April third.  How families live far away so it only us here with the kids. We don't have a babysitter. So we don't go out too often which ***** at time but than most nights after dealing with the kids etc I dead tired. I get out with some girl friend here and there. Sometime have to take the baby as I breastfeed till they are eating solids. It will be a change but it not a bad change. Yes I miss at times kid free days, we have never been away over night from our kids and my oldest is 7.  But I wouldn't trade them back for those days but a break here and there would be nice.  Things will get better when hormones settle but could be a bit as postpartum hormones aren't any better than pregnancy hormones.

[MrsKiss]

AprilBabe I hear you loud and clear. I love my husband and we have a good life but I Def know the feeling of "playing the wife." He and I are really different people when it comes down to personalities and interests. Throughout this pregnancy I have felt that my life is now permanently going to be altered. I keep wondering if I'm ever going to feel "hot" again lol. I think it's all just part of transitioning into a new role and responsibilty. We are officially going to be "grown-ups" and I'm not sure how I feel ab it either. Hang in there, this is a big change but you'll find your creativity waiting on the other side. Goodluck and feel better, sometimes we just need to cry, no shame mama!

[beckaabear]

Sounds like you need a fun adventurous vacation. I keep reading articles about babymoons. Also keep in mind your hormones are crazy right now. I keep thinking things are bad but then I realize I'm probably being irrational.

[NewAngie]

Think about what was your life before your husband, what got absorbed? Try to bring some things back, whether that's something you do on your own, with friends, or with him. You've got to keep being you, even if things shift or look different for a little bit while you're pregnant or becoming a new mom, it's important. I hope you get some of yourself back!

[Audreyirene]

Even going to do things for yourself like getting a pedi or mani to help make you feel good if you start feeling better maybe he will to I haven't felt good at all during this pregnancy I've been so miserable and my boyfriend has been so supportive being in our situation isn't easy and I hope your spouse starts to recognize that and give you the love that you need

[Mooserama]

I think it's hard during pregnancy to do a lot of the fun things you used to do together... I am 26 weeks and went to a concert last night. Amazing but by the end I was secretly willing them off stage so I would go home and sleep! And I have to say I don't find going out quite the same when you can't drink and have to struggle to find something to fit. We're also trying to get a load of diy and house sorting done which takes a lot of time. I think it's natural to feel that your quality time suffers as a result but you still have to try and make time for it. I also find my hubby will merrily sit on the PlayStation for the rest of his life so it falls to me to tell him we're going out or doing something different. It's annoying being the one who always has to push to do different things but it's so important to try and get that time in now as I've no idea when we'll get time after the birth. Have you tried just being blunt- tell him you fancy going out and just book somewhere? Sometimes blokes can be quite dopey and need that push to actually get off the sofa.

[Audreyirene]

Just remember you have to be happy to you only live once Don't live somebody else's life live yours so your baby can have a happy mommy don't be scared to be yourself and do what's best for you even if it's hard

[Audreyirene]

I don't see things working out if you can't have fun together or be silly I'm 39 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend does fall asleep like an hour after dinner and snores which being pregnant I have insomnia right now so it's hard to sleep this is my second child and I will be having our little girl next week we already have a concert planned for next month and another in July I think it comes down to enjoying the same things and making time for each there needs having someone who hears you out and being able to have fun together that's what makes it work