confused. idk what to do.

[babymom1108]

So kind of been thinking about what to do. Ok. So here is what's going on. I am 28 weeks and maybe with it getting so close is why I'm thinking about it so much. But anyways. My boyfriend who just happens to be my ex husband as well and I are back together and happier and closer than we ever have been. We got married 7 years ago. And I really thought it was over. But God had other plans. Lol. But during the time that we were seperated I met someone else. And ended up getting pregnant. Now the guy wants nothing to do with me or the baby. I haven't even heard from him in five months or more. So my husband/ex is going to be raising her as his own. And I could not be happier. We want to get remarried when the time is right. But here is where I'm confused. He wants to be put on her birth certificate as the father. And wants her to have his last name. I think about it. I'm just so confused. I know we are going to be together. I love him so much. And he loves me and this baby with everything he is. He is her father no matter what. If she doesn't take his last name she will be getting my maiden name. I'm just lost. He feels like there is a reason that this baby came along the way she did. We tried for 5 years to have a baby and I miscarried twice. And we don't know why. But anyways. This is something I question and think about a lot especially lately. Any advice?

[jaceandkhimommy]

Hey I can agree with your situation.  Many husband met more when i was two months pregnant and now we are on baby number 3 my oldest does not know because he has never met the dead beat and i regret not giving him my husband name but he still claims it if you ask him his namehe says both of our last names.  So now in actuality he is the only one without the name but to him he has it.  The sperm donor is a dead beat so he has never seen him at all and it works for me.  But i do get child support no free walk.  So i say marry your husband and give him you both baby y'all have been waiting on.  Be blessed

[annat33]

My first baby the situation was similar with the dad he was around for a lil then took off and didn't hear from him I was 16 at the time. Well I met my husband when my daughter was like 1 in a half and she knows only him as her father. I want him on her birthcertificate and he's willing to do it right now she has my maiden name as her last name so we are working on changing it and getting him on her birthcertificate. I say let the men that wsnt to be there for them be there. They deserve to have the rights.

[bbm1188]

I understand the family situation. My husband and I separated for a month 3 years ago and got back together. My family hated him, and was so mad. It has caused a huge riff in the Relationship over the years but once I got pregnant they have been alot more accepting of the situation and him. So with that Being said maybe once your family sees that their opinion isnt going to change your mind and they just have to accept it, they probably will, otherwise like my family they will miss out on the bundle of joy your carrying, and Im sure they dont want it to come to that. Maybe your little girl will open the door to acceptance for them. And your situation sounds like a dream come true with your Man raising the child. :)

[shastas84]

Exactly right. And given time, your family may come around. ;)

[babymom1108]

Thank you all for such encouraging words. It means a lot to me! It has been something on my mind for awhile now. It means so much to me. This is how I want it. But I also know that it isn't going to go over real great with my family either. They don't agree with our relationship. Don't really support is being back together. So needless to say I have lost a lot with my family. Its just us now. And that hurts me too because I am so close to my family. But if they can't except him and my happiness with him then I guess they can't except me either. Right? I deserve to be happy. I am a grown adult.

[havincinco]

Btw- your post made me cry....im such a sissy this pregnancy! Lol

[havincinco]

I agree too! What an amazing and awesome situation. Honestly the other guy is out but he left you an incredible gift....for both of you! Get married, give the baby his name and be the family you were trying for before.

[shastas84]

I say yes. The fact that he is wanting to go to the distance of being on there is awesome. Give him the joy of a daughter and her the security of a father. Good luck!

[ford122109]

I agree. it looks like a blessing. I know one of my brothers kids isn't his but he is on  the birth cef. And she has his name. He was there by the mom s side since day 1 and my niece knows no different. It was the best thing for everyone

[baby2014]

You know it's probably just meant to be. He wants to prove a lot to you right now. He is wanting to show you that he wants to be a father and husband to you. I say let his last name be hers because like you said God brought y'all back together for another reason. Let God's plan be God's plan and just really pray about it. Ask him If it is his will. God works in mysterious ways and he will always give you answers and signs.

In my opinion I think it's awesome idea. The Bio doesn't want nothing to do with her so let a real man get the glory of being her dad and let him have that special gift of letting her carry his last name.

I wish you luck and congratulations! God bless and be with you all also!