confused???

[AhMaurlei_mommy]

My babies father has recently gotten a new girlfriend at which he lives with and soon i will be moving an hour away with family and im a little skeptical about sending my baby to this womans house whom i dont know.. my babies father is very persistent about having the baby 50% of the time....what is a good age to send my baby away for overnight visits?? And i feel as though meeting this mystery woman will help ease my mind. Do you think this will help?? Or no. I dont want to invade on his privacy... please help.

[April_blessed]

The fact that you seem so concerned is a good reason to take the advice of these ladies.  I didn't know the laws were so serious,  so I'd go with the court documents option and take it from there.

[thenewmrs_b]

Idk about other states but in mass courts won't give more than a few hour visit for the first year... minimum unless the mother wants it. I would as the others suggested get a lawyer and find out what the rules are... I can tell you this though... once the baby comes you won't want him/her away from you so know what you can demand and refuse now before msms bear mode kicks in (two sisters and a best friend all single strong mamas who had to go through courts for custody clarification)

[megmegcleve]

I would definitely meet her first of all for sure!! Then I would hire a lawyer cause I think you should have some legal documentation stating visiting rights. That way he can't just dictate what he wants or make off with the baby. If you are breast feeding you should also not let baby spend the night until he/she is sleeping through the night, so as not to disrupt their feeding schedule.

[Isis1515]

He can visit the baby at your home, and yes you have every right to know his live in girlfriend.

[Isis1515]

Do not let your baby go at all until you have a binding custody agreement signed by a judge!!! Possession is 9/10's of the law. If your baby's father decided to keep your baby, the police cannot do anything to remove the baby from his custody unless there is a legal document.

[ross1112]

Get to know her first, I would do the same, and if he's good to u he'll be good to the baby and he won't let anybody hurt the baby

[elvendork]

The law protects the best welfare of the baby, so smoking around a baby is a no no, as is not allowing for exclusive breast feeding for the first 6 months

[elvendork]

Talk to a lawyer and work of a binding a agreement. The fact that she smokes weed, could be cause to say it is a unfit environment for the baby to stay overnight. I wouldn't let the baby go overnight or even with you without a signed binding agreement stating length of visits and how they will bring the baby back. Then of they ever screw up you can standing to end the visits or adjust how they are done.

[AhMaurlei_mommy]

Im more concerned about my chlds safety and the things she will be exposed to while there.,,,I know his girlfriend smokes weed and I dont smoke or drink.. I dont want smoking around my baby but then again I can not tell a grown women what to do in her house you know...

[AhMaurlei_mommy]

Thanks ladies for the advice!! I only asked until she was 6 months before having overnight visits he became very irate stating that he works during tbe day just as i do and wants to have her at nights as well....he feels like in trying to keep her away from him which im not. This is the first child for boh of us so we dont really know how things work...

[Tori8914]

Be careful same thing happened to my sister in law she didn't get her son bk. For 2 yrs

[luka_n_baby2]

If this woman is going to be in your childs life then you have every right to meet her. As for when to send baby for over nights that's up to you and him. If you are breastfeeding that will delay it. Good luck

[KieaRai]

If you're planning to breast feed then you shouldn't send the baby until he's completely weaned otherwise it could cause problems. Also, I'd never leave my kid with someone I don't know so you all need to get together and talk it out so you can get to know her. Since you and him aren't together and you're moving an hour away you'll have to get the courts invovled anyway. At least here you do... bc if you don't that's when parental kidnapping happens and they won't do anything about it if you let your kid go there in the first place. Whether you're getting child support or not, the courts need to  draw out legal papers stating who gets baby, when, how you split the travel costs, all that stuff. And no court here will allow overnight visits until the baby is at least year old anyway bc of feeding.