I need some honest opinions

[lilflutist]

I'm 10 weeks pregnant. I see my OB tomorrow and my hubby and I were talking that if things are looking good tomorrow we may start telling a few more people about our baby. I've had questions raised by a few people (who already know) of whether or not I'm going to personally tell my dad and my sister before making the FB announcement.
Long story short, my dad and I go together like oil and water. There's a lot of tension between us because of things he's done. Honestly I don't really have much of a relationship with him. I dint feel bad not telling him personally, but of course people are still giving me the "he's still your father" line. Really I don't even know if I'm going to let my baby around him much in the long run...
My sister and I had a nasty falling out about 6 months ago because of her actions and words. She refuses to talk to me & when I've tried to contract her all she does is yell, belittle, and blame me for everything. (It's a case of 'it's your fault I acted like this'.) I'd love to personally tell her, but I feel like she needs to be the one to call me first this time. I'm also a bit worried that if I call her she'll make remarks about my baby and I will not tolerate that.
I honestly don't know what to do. People make it sound like I'm a horrible person if I don't personally grace these 2 with the news. It's hard though because of the lack of relationship or communication from both for me to really feel bad about not personally telling then.
Opinions please! What would you do?
Thanks!

[lilflutist]

Thanks for all the advice!  I have no idea what exactly I'm going to do, though a text or message sound like a good way to go. I'll have to think more about it. It's nice knowing that I'm not a horrible person if I decide to just let them find out themselves when I post to FB. I think if either of them actually call me before I announce to the world maybe then I'll tell them. Personally I don't care if they're excited for us or not. The way they act, they're not going to be around my baby much. We don't need their negativity. Though, not going to lie, part of me is hoping that this baby will at least bring my sister down off her blinded high horse. She and I were really close before she jumped off the deep end. I do miss her.
For now though, however they find out it's going to be closer to when our FB announcement goes out (unless they miraculously contact me sooner.)

[mommybrandyozuna]

A text is fine I'd just say "hey I'm pregnant just wanted u to know before u hear it from someone else or see it on fb :)" then I wouldn't answer any calls or responses! It's ur life ur baby and move on from people who can't enjoy that with u!

[NurseHerrera]

My father had and "his" family (my step mom, half brother and sister) had not spoken to me in four years. Even though I sent them letters and messages every year they never responded. They missed my nursing graduation, my wedding and everything. So when I got pregnant I thought there would be no way I would ever tell them about it because they don't deserve to be there. But at the same time my child doesn't deserve to be hidden from anyone because that *is* his granddaughter whether I like him or not. Well I decided to message my sister about my pregnancy and a day later she responded and told me our Dad wanted to talk to me and ever since then we've all been talking and getting along. Honestly I'm still a little skeptical about him but I'm giving it a shot and I know that babies change everything. So I would say go ahead and tell them before Facebook! What's the worst that could happen?

[muneca34]

I am in the same boat. I just texted them a PiC of me with my hubs a d our test. My sister did later on start bs drama about how she wasn't gonna co e see the child and that her FAM is stressed over this pregnancy due to how over protective I was with my first child etc ( my first is 14). I was like that's your choice and I don't know what my life has yo do with your family. She said some ugly things really ugly and I have no issue with her staying away she is an unstable person. My father has done some rpeatayive things that just shows how flaud his character is and with this child being a girl he won't see her much if at all he hasn't even seen my sisters kids for like five yrs. Its sad but some Apple don't need to be a part of your life if that's how they act.

[alid32]

You get to decide who's in your circle or not.  Blood doesn't matter sometimes. Some of the people that I consider family aren't related at all.  Tell people in person that you want to tell.  Don't feel obligated just because they related.

[vanessa_mackenzie]

Honestly... if they arent really a part of your life now, you don't owe them anything to keep them in the small circle of knowing before everyone else. If it bothers them maybe they will confront you or contact you. That will at least let you know that they care enough to be upset. But in any case them keeping their distance seems to bother you more than it does them that you make attempts to talk and even care about how they feel. I say just go on about your life. Be happy and do what you feel is best for you. Making the extra step to contact them and not recieving the response you'd hope might stress you out more than just letting it go.

[MrsMonahan]

If you don't want to put yourself through the stress of telling them in person or phoning them just send them a text, you have done the "right" thing by thinking about their feelings ( even if they don't deserve it) and if they choose to be awful after that then its their decision and you can ignore them after that. I have many family issues and I just do what I want to do and what will cause the least stress, families don't understand that actually we are all just people and sometimes we don't like each other.

[rosealie23]

I would not tell them in person. If you are not talking I would not go out of my way to let them know.

[Scuttles88]

Congratulations on your baby! You don't have to tell anyone you don't feel comfortable telling. You and your father seem pretty estranged so no need to go out of your way to include him in your life. Your sister needs to grow up. You've tried to reconcile..you're not obligated to do anything else. Be happy about your baby but don't feel bad if others,  even family,  may not so happy/ may not even deserve to know. Good luck sweetie.

[3babyboyz]

With my first child i told everyone in person except my mom n siblings bcuz we don't even talk to each other. They found out through FB n my brother was a little upset but i don't care. They r happy 2b aunties, uncle n grandmother but they've only saw my boys twice since they've been born n they r 1 n 2 now! So i don't blame u if u don't want to tell them in person. Good luck on ur decision!

[Huni_b]

honestly, i would still go ahead and tell them both personally. at least i'll have a peace of mind that i've been good/forthcoming and done the right thing. if they want to continue their bad attitude, then i'll let that be their problem not mine, afterall i have my baby to focus on.

even when telling them, i wouldn't expect much of a positive reaction from them anyway, given the current circumstances. all i know is, i'm making the first step, and if they're not interested it's their loss, not mine. they later cant hold it against me that i never tried. plus, if i tell them, i'd later not have to ask myself 'what ifs' and 'how comes'.

good luck girl.

[bgermain007]

I can personally say if u dont have a relationship with them dont bother. If you dont why would your child. It is their loss not yours, you should not go out of your way to tell them the news. Congrats.